frum female

the money issue

2012-02-16T23:10:00.001-05:00

one of the traits of a potential spouse that is of major concern is his/her relationship with money. i do not mean whether he/she is rich or poor, but rather how he/she deals with money in general. i have met those who have not much money who are very generous with what they have and others who are not strapped for cash who are nickel and diming everything as though it were the great depression. often one's attitude toward money is a barometer for how the person behaves in general. if they are cheap with money , they are cheap with kindness. they are always trying to get something for very little effort.
it is important to be responsible and not to squander one's money, but it is also important to be able to enjoy life as well. you can't take it with you, after 120. my parents were always very frugal, but i never felt like we were poor (which we weren't) . they just wanted to lived within their means.
it is also important to be happy with one's lot as far as money is concerned. i do not mean that one should not strive to make a good living , but some people are never happy with what they have no matter how much they have. i used to live in a basement apartment that was very affordable. because i had such low rent it i could do anything and buy anything i needed or wanted. once i had a friend who asked me how i could live in such a hovel. until then i was perfectly happy with where i lived, i also could not have afforded to have paid more rent than i was paying at the time. i chose to pay her no mind. just because my friend could not live in that basement did not mean that i could not be happy living there.
everyone has their own personal money style. it has to be compatible with the personal money style of a potential spouse. its not a matter of right or wrong, but more of a matter of what is.

the beat goes on

2012-02-15T23:44:00.000-05:00

ever notice how some people's taste in music stops in a certain decade? they try to say that they don't make music like that used to . i think that it is more than just that. i think that old music can remind one of what one was doing (or not doing) when that music was current. music is that powerful.

the truth about jewish women

2012-02-14T20:27:00.000-05:00

often jewish women who live in new york have been given the stereotype of being pushy and overbearing. sometimes people think that a religious woman would be subservient . well, of course maybe a religious woman of a faith other than jewish would be. but give me a break with the stereotypes. when does loudmouthed ,overbearing and subservient describe the same person?
i dont't think that religious jewish women are subservient to men and i don't believe in the common stereotype of the loudmouthed jewish new york woman.
i do believe that jews of both genders often stand up for what they believe in and stand up for the underdog. does this make one pushy and loudmouthed? i don't think so , but no one asked me.

frum fashion don'ts

2012-02-13T20:46:00.003-05:00

i saw this on fashion-isha's facebook page. fashion isha has beautiful fashions on her website. this of course is a frum fashion don't. i have knocked those who wear 3/4 shells under strapless gowns, and this is the skirt version. i agree that some outfits look cute in the layered look even if the designer hadn't intended his/her fashions to be worn as such, but this is just over the top.

ladies, i beg of you, DON'T try this at home.

just settle

2012-02-13T06:07:00.001-05:00

i find it humorous whenever i hear the "just settle" speech. it is wasted by the orator. the person who should be given the "just settle" speech is someone in her early twenties. if someone over thirty hasn't "just settled" they most probably never will. its a lot easier to "just settle " at twenty-two than it is at at thirty-two or forty-two.

out of love or out of fear

2012-02-12T15:16:00.001-05:00

i never like it when i hear people disparage thing and say that such and such is bad because its goyish. why not stress the positive instead of a negative ?

i went to frum schools all my life and i went to touro college. i did not have to deal with the outside world and the world of the goyim until i got a job in a secular company. if i would have believed the frum cultural notion that everything goyish is the work of the devil i surely would have left the fold.

there are good secular people and bad secular people . there are good goyim and there are bad goyim. we keep the torah because we are jewish and because the torah is true, not because everything else is "bad".

right back to the start

2012-02-09T23:55:00.000-05:00

i grew up modern orthodox. for a while i had a stint as left wing yeshivish and eventually went back to being modern orthodox. i am a bit more right wing than the way i grew up, but modern orthodox i am.
i have some friends who grew up in secular jewish families who were frum for awhile,,but went back to being less observant over time.
its not that i think that no one can maintain spiritual growth, its just that often because one grew up one way, this is the hashkafah one feels comfortable with. the other common denominator is that when one remains single it is easier to through in the towel. some friends who were frum for awhile may have stayed frum had they married. since they did not it became harder to keep the faith. its not an excuse, but it happens. it is easier to grow spiritually with a partner.
then again, everyone has to find their place religiously. sometimes it is not best for someone to be really shtark. sometimes one is better suited for a more moderate form of judaism. if one is more extreme it could cause one to feel too stifled.
then again, its best to feel clear about one's own hashkafah before marrying . this may happen when one marries a little later and can actually be a good thing. then one will be ready to grow in the best direction alone or coupled.

16 handles on avenue j

2012-02-08T00:19:00.000-05:00

for months now i have been anticipating the opening of 16 handles, a frozen yogurt place that is now on avenue j - the heart of jewish midwood. there has not been a kosher non-cholov yisroel ice cream store in the area since carvel has closed , except for baskin robbins, which is now part of dunkin donuts.
when i walked into 16 handles last night i felt as though i was in manhattan or at least park slope.
blueberry on avenue m does have good frozen yogurt . most flavors are not cholov yisroel.16 handles has more variety . blueberry has some real food on the menu while 16 handles is strictly frozen yogurt. 16 handles does have some pareve selections, but i have not yet tasted them.
it is quite a shame that though there are some strictly cholov yisroel ice cream places in the area but their ice cream does not taste as good as the non-cholov yisroel ice cream
anyway, check out 16 handles on avenue j and see what you think.

keeping up with the times

2012-02-06T23:10:00.000-05:00

when i see old yiddish movies from the 1920s it always cracks me up . everyone is always dressed in the "hip" "cool" clothes of the times. unfortunately what was "hip" and "cool" then was quite different from what is "hip" and "cool" then.
so often we try to keep up with the culture and be fashionable and then even just ten years later what was then cool is now uncool.
i am frum, but i also find secular culture enjoyable. secular culture changes while the torah stays the same. for better or for worse, this truism cannot be seen more clearly than in an old yiddish movie

everybody needs a little magic

2012-02-05T11:53:00.001-05:00

i have attended more singles events than one person should be allowed to be subjected to . however, i think that because of this i have a right to share my opinion regarding them. i think that the best singles events are those that are just that- an event. when speed dating first became in vogue i really enjoyed it. it was a way of forcing people to interact. speed dating went by the wayside when singles realized that though they may get to interact with those they would like to at speed dating events, they also get to interact with those they do not like. so speed dating fizzled.

i have over the years been to singles events that may or may not have brought me any closer to meeting my bashert, but they did not break my spirit. several years ago there was a singles event that featured an eccentric artist who made paintings for everyone at the event. i don't know if anyone connected, but it was so much fun and people did feel compelled to interact because it was exciting . another fun event was the screening of the israeli tv show srugim. . yet another positive event was with a magician who walked around the crowd as well as performing a show, forcing people to interact . a single's event with a shiur that has a mechitzah and then socializing afterward does not work. most people just scope the crowd through holes in the mechitzah during the shiur and leave when its over.
the truth is it does take a little magic to meet someone. it does not really matter the venue. if you aren't going to meet someone you won't and if you are supposed to meet someone , no matter how lame the event, you will meet.

choices

2012-02-01T22:39:00.000-05:00

when i turned 30 a good friend of mine who was married with three kids at the time informed me that if she hadn't gotten married by the time she was thirty that she would have just married anyone and have kids with him. i remember thinking how preposterous she sounded to me at the time. marry ANYONE just to have kids? how could anyone actually do that? i thought.
flash forward to the present. well i still would not do that , but i have more of an understanding of why someone might do that. the fear of never giving birth to a child is real . for some it will never happen. then again , i was always afraid of just marrying ANYONE and then not having a kid with him anyway. or worse . to share the bond of sharing parentage of a child with someone i did not at any point care much for seemed like too much to bear. couples who marry because they want to share a life together as well as kids together may divorce but at least they went for it with the proper intent.

the "a" word

2012-01-30T18:31:00.000-05:00

i have always wanted to be a mother. even as a kid i always thought that if i couldn't have a child biologically that i would most certainly adopt a child.

though i know many frum couples who have opted for adoption when they were unable to have a biological child i have yet to see any mention of the possibility of adoption on any frum dating website. i know that there is a "willing to adopt " box on e harmony .com, so i know that there is at least one dating website that includes this "radical" option. obviously it is optimal to have a biological child , but what is wrong with putting it out there that one is willing to adopt ? nothing on frumster prevents anyone from writing this on their profile but i haven't noticed anyone who has listed this option. including myself. i suppose i should . but it is a shame that willing to adopt is not an automatic question in the multiple choice section of one's frumster profile.

Raid on Entebbe - Yoni Netanyahu fights Arab hijackers

2012-01-26T23:30:00.000-05:00

follow me, the yoni netanyahu story

2012-01-26T23:28:00.000-05:00

monday night i saw the documentary film follow me : the yoni netanyahu story at the jewish film festival . i always knew about what happened during operation thunderbolt (raid at entebbe) but i didn't know a lot about the mastermind and and only israeli soldier who lost his life during this brave mission. now i do.
this movie explores yoni the son and brother, yoni the writer and yoni the warrior. this 35th anniversary tribute includes interviews by yoni's brothers bibi and ido as well as his father ben-tzion. many israeli dignitaries were interviewed as well. the most fascinating interviews were that of his ex-wife as well as his girlfriend. there were interviews of the young men he led during raid on entebbe. there were even home movies from childhood . i felt like i really got to know yoni netanyahu through this movie. who knows what he would have added to the world had he lived past operation thunderbolt.
follow me is the story of a young man's love and devotion of his country. its the story of a very handsome young man who was a great warrior as well as a sensitive writer. this was one of the most amazing films of this year's new york jewish film festival.

Tribute to Yoni Netanyahu

2012-01-24T23:39:00.002-05:00

DOXA 2009: Inside Hana's Suitcase

2012-01-24T23:14:00.001-05:00

i recently watched one of the most incredible stories ever on netflix. the name of the documentary is inside hana's suitcase. this film begins as the story of a japanese woman named fumiko ishioka who is an educator at the japanese holocaust education center in japan. ms ishioka taught children about the holocaust and in 1999 she requested artifacts from the holocaust museum in auschwitz . she especially requested artifacts from children so she would be able to help the children she was teaching be able to relate to it better. one of the artifacts she recieved was a suitcase of a little girl name hana brady. ms ishioka and the children wondered what hana's fate had been as well as what her life had been like before the war.
after much research ms ishioka found out that hana spent time in terezin and died in auchwitz. she also found out that hana had a brother george who did survive the war. ms ishioka also managed to find pictures that hana had drawn in auchsiwitz that acutally had her name on them. she also managed to locate george brady who was livning in toronto at the time.
george was very happy to tell ms ishioka about his sister. he felt such deep survivor's guilt. he wanted to share his sister's life with others so she would not be forgotten. he sent ms ishioka pictures of his sister. he eventually went to japan and spoke to children about his sister and about his life. his sister always wanted to be a teacher and now through her so many learned about the holocaust. all because of a suitcase that had her name on it.
a childhood friend of hanna's had gone to the holocaust memorial in auschwitz in 1962 and took a picture of herself with hann'as suitcase. she did this with much sadness as this was all she had to remember her friend. at some point it was realized when george saw this photo that the suitcase that he saw was not the same suitcase as the one he saw in the photo. hanna's real suitcase had gone to a holocaust museum in birmingham , england to be displayed there and in 1984 neo - nazis burned the facility where the suitcase was kept. the museum in poland wanted to replicate hana's suitcase because there were so few children's suitcases that survived. they replicated the suitcase from hanna's friend's photo. through this replica so many lives were touched by this little girl.
george brady saw his sister's artwork from terezin and was able to remember why she would have drawn these pictures. this helped other children learn about his sister's life , not just her demise.
this film intersperses commentary on hanna's life from children in japan and toronto who have learned about her life.
karen levine was inspired by this story to write a children's book called hanna's suitcase that has been translated into many languages.
this film is such an amazing journey about how teaching about the holocaust and tolerance for others that has brought so many people from around the world together. i highly recommend it.

LEA & DARIJA

2012-01-22T23:29:00.002-05:00

today i saw the most awesome film at the jewish film festival. the film was lea and darija which is a historical fiction about the life of lea deutsch the croatian jewish shirley temple. who's that you say? and if you are me you will say "there is a jewish community in croatia? " well.there still is a small jewish community in croatia and there was a much larger one before world war two .
lea deutsch was a famous tap dancer from croatia who travelled all over europe acting and dancing from the age of five. she was forced to stop dancing in 1941 when croatia was taken over by the nazis . many tried to help her and her family to no avail. she died in transit to auchswitz in 1943. only her father survived the war.
darija was a croatian german girl who danced with lea. she survived the war. she and her family fled croatia when the nazis took over croatia.
the filmmaker branko ivanda is the son of a croatian partisan whose father survived three years in a concentration camp. he came to make this film after joining some of his friends who are jewish in a jewish coffee house in croatia. in this coffee house there was a striking painting of lea deutsch . he was intrigued by her life story which inspired him to first compile a documentary and then a historical fiction film about her. he felt it important for people to remember her life. even now there are still those in croatia who fondly remember her. she was a shining star and beloved by all at the time.
when the film lea and darija premieres in croatia it will be screened in the theatre lea performed in.
it is incredible that branko ivanda has created this tribute to lea deutsch so her memory can live on.

p.s. i have included a clip from the documentary that was created by branko ivanda and not the film that i actually saw. i would like to eventually see the documentary, but i think that the historical fiction version is amazing. it really brings the story to life.

now i am one of "them"

2012-01-21T19:16:00.003-05:00

i have had a cell phone for ten years and i have finally updated to the iphone. i had resisted updating my phone service for various reasons. number one on my list of course was cheapness. i did not want to have to pay for a data plan. the only thing is that so many of the better phones require a data plan with their phone. and of course i wanted a better camera. the better phones have better cameras. i have a camera that i love and use, but for everyday i don't always want to lug around a camera , so its nice to have a cell phone with a good camera for those occasions when i spontaneously need a camera.
another reason i resisted getting a phone with internet service is that i was afraid i'd get too addicted to it. of course this has happened but i'm still glad that i have the data plan. it has already made my life better . i have weight watchers online at my finger tips and easier access to my e-mail when im at work. i don't have a job where i sit in front of a computer all day. there is free wifi access at work which is a plus.
though i have gotten a little addicted to the internet portion of my phone i know that the novelty will wear off a little over time
now i have joined the twenty somethings at work who are constantly checking their phones. the difference is that they are checking and texting and i am checking and web surfing.
oh and the iphone has incredible reception when i make phone calls. the most important feature for a cell phone.

"I Am Jewish"

2012-01-19T20:42:00.000-05:00

after seeing the anti-birthright israelers protesting at occupy wall street it was nice to watch a different version. i have met so many apathetic twentysomething jews that its nice to see someone with another attitude. everyone is not frum so we can only hope those who are not don't get totally lost to judaism. perhaps one day all jews will be observant but for now i hope for everyone being observant in their own way.

paramedics

2012-01-18T23:46:00.000-05:00

when my dad passed away almost two years ago we called 911 before proceeding to the hospital. the paramedics who tended to my dad were the most kind individuals. they knew things were serious and they used low tones and gentle words with my family members. i will forever be grateful for their kindness. it took 9/11 for me to appreciate firemen , it took my father's death for me to truly appreciate the work of a paramedic. of course i would have preferred to have appreciated these professions without something dire happening

Too Jewish by Patty Friedmann

2012-01-15T01:15:00.002-05:00

i just finished reading the book too jewish by patty freidmann on my kindle. i was blown away to say the least. the book is about a holocaust survivor who ends up living in new orleans and marrying a jewish woman from a very assimilated jewish family . to his wife's family he is too jewish. what i found startling was how assimilated these people are. i saw the play the last night of ballyhoo by alfred uhry which is also about the jewish southern experience and how assimilated they were as opposed to new york jews , but they did not prepare me for this book. the post ww2 southern jews portrayed here are so out of touch with judaism that it is hard to understand. i grew up in the midwest decades later and can't imagine jews , not even secular jews , being that out of touch. had i not seen the play the last night of ballyhoo i would not have believed it.
this story is fiction , but its based on patty friedman's life. her dad was a holocaust survivor. her mom was a southern jew. her grandparents thought her father 'too jewish' . i do not want to give away the whole story , but it is worth reading. it is eye opening in a disturbing way. i say read this book because there are jews so assimalated that they are out of touch with the jewish experience. in new york there at least is a jewish culture. other places not so much. this book is a best seller on the kindle. read it and find out why.

jewish film festival

2012-01-13T01:10:00.003-05:00

the jewish film festival often has films by jews instead of films about the jewish experience. i saw a film today that was a perfect example. the film was white : a memoir of color.

white: a memoir of color is about a jewish couple who identify more as white than jewish who contemplate adopting a child of color. not once in this film is there a reference to why they might think it would be difficult to raise a black or biracial child as jewish . this couple eventually end up adopting a biracial black child and a fully black child. not once do they reference this as being an issue for the adoptive child. though there are black jewish people they usually have black jewish parents who share their experience of being a minority within a minority. it must be more difficult for a white jewish person to have a black jewish child. . even if one is not a very ritualistically jewish person this could be a challenge. in fact the less religious one is the more the child will be thrown into situations where he/she is different in so many ways. again , not one mention of this in the film. i'm guessing this film is aimed at the general viewing public so religion is not mentioned. this film would not have even been in the jewish film festival had the filmmaker not been jewish. i found the film to be honest and informative, but not from the jewish standpoint, just the white standpoint.

i consider myself to be more jewish than white.

i have heard that many young christian women who are putting their babies up for adoption want to know that they are giving their child up to a church going christian family, so im not sure why religion was not mentioned. then again perhaps in the case of a bi-racial baby the birth mother cares less what the religion of the adoptive parents making it less of an issue. who knows.

i admit that though i could see myself adopting a chinese baby or a hispanic baby i would find it more difficult to adopt a black or bi-racial child. i don't think that i could handle it. i think that some people can handle it , and for them this is wonderful. i would have liked to have seen this film document more of what the experience of adopting a black child in the jewish community would be like. i thought this movie was going to be like that . it wasn't.

The Joy of Books

2012-01-11T09:36:00.000-05:00

this is such a cool video. i like all forms of books as in e-books and physical books. this video is such a great homage to physical books. enjoy!

married bloggers

2012-01-10T00:08:00.000-05:00

a lot of people blog when they are single and cease blogging when they marry. its just the way it is. perhaps they had more time when they were single so they were able to blog then. married people who blog seem to be those who started blogging when they were already married. i think that if i were married i would still blog because i have been blogging for four years . but who knows. only time will tell. hopefully.

rockets into roses

2012-01-08T00:39:00.000-05:00

i just received this pendant from israel. it was created by an israeli blacksmith who transformed the remains of a kassam rocket that landed in israel into a beautiful pendant. when i was about to put it on i hesitated. at that point it hit me that the pendant i was about to adorn was once part of a weapon of destruction. i realized this when i ordered it, but i didn't think i would have these thoughts when i was about to put it on.
after a moment i realized that this pendant has been transformed and is now a pendant meant for adornment and that part of the proceeds from this pendant will be helping build shelters to keep israelis safe. not too shabby.

i am hoping that this pendant will be of the very limited edition kind.

cultural jews

2012-01-05T14:33:00.000-05:00

there are religious jews and there are secular jews. let us not forget that there are also cultural jews.
there is more to a cultural jew than just bagels and lox. scoff as you may , cultural jews are important , mainly because so long as they remain cultural jews they are still identifying as jews.
new york city has a lot of cultural jews because so many jews live here. many new york jews don't even realize this until they go to other cities and then they realize how much they miss the jewish culture of new york city.
the cool thing about jewish culture is that it would not exist all all if not for the jewish religion. this is why the jcc , the 92st y , the jewish film festival, and the israeli film festival are so important. they are ways jews can connect to judaism in a non-threatening way. and from there who knows what can happen. the sky's the limit.

when it comes down to it

2012-01-03T20:09:00.001-05:00

when life get stressful i make a point not to deal with stupid or annoying people because i am just too bogged down. often i wish that i was able to ignore these annoyances when i am not as stressed . perhaps avoiding these annoyances would prevent me from becoming too stressed in the first place. food for action.

extremely loud and incredibly close

2012-01-01T15:12:00.000-05:00

i saw the movie extremely loud and incredibly close on thursday. it was very good. at first i didn't want to see it because it is based on a book by the same name by jonathan safran foer that i found incredibly boring and extremely difficult to read. i'm glad that i saw the movie in the end. the movie is about a little boy whose father dies in the world trade center . the little boy struggles to make sense of things and also to to find the owner of a key his father had.
the little boy refers to 9/11 as the "worst day" which i find interesting. of course it was the worst day. the hardest thing at the time of 9/11 is that they just called it 9/11 instead of giving it an adjective.this movie is somewhat whimsical because it is being told from the eyes of a child.
the film brought back memories of 9/11 and how the world changed . i remember waking up 9/12/01 and thinking 'i'm still here, now what?'. just as there are children who are now nine years old who have never met their fathers there are also those who were children then who are now in their early twenties. these are children who grew up in a post 9/11 world. it is sad, but this is reality. unfortunately you can never go back.

happy blogoversary

2012-01-01T02:47:00.002-05:00

its now been exactly 4 years that i have been writing this blog. i'm just as amazed as you are that i haven't run out of things to write. thanks for reading. i am looking forward to more years of writing.

our own oddities

2011-12-29T22:42:00.000-05:00

as a kid i would sometimes get embarrassed by certain quirks of family members. when i grew up i realized that every family has their quirks even quirks that i thought were unique to my own family. that's definitely one good thing about being an adult, you realize that all families are a little odd and yet we move along with our lives as if they don't exist.

American Girl Target of Extremist Jews in Israel

2011-12-29T22:37:00.002-05:00

what is interesting about this whole conflict is that is religious jew against religious jew. i appreciate that it is noted by haddassah margolese that no woman should be harrassed walking down the street no matter how she is dressed. it is very important that she mentions this. it is not just bad for hadassah and her daughter because they are religious, it is bad for this to happen to any jewish woman in israel no matter if she is religious or not.
every charedi jew in israel is not enforcing violence against those who disagree with them , its just that because they themselves arent affected by the violence they don't protest.
there is a poem that goes sort of like this that says it all
when they came for the chinese i wasn't chinese so i didn't say anything,
when they came for the blacks, i wasnt black so i didnt say anything .
when they came for the jews i wasn't jewish so i didn't say anything.
when they came for the greeks, i wasn't greek so i didn't say anything,
and so on,
but when they came for me there was no one left to save me

the descendents

2011-12-28T23:10:00.001-05:00

i saw the movie 'the descendents' with george clooney on sunday. its the story of a man whose wife was in a boating accident , is on life support and the effect it has on the family members . death can be sudden and random. it suddenly hits and forever changes the loved ones who remain alive whether they like it or not. no one assumes their new life gracefully, but we manage to survive it anyway.
'the descendents' is not so prolific, but anyone who has experienced an unexpected death of a loved one can relate to it. anyone who has suffered the loss of a loved one can relate to it.
it is a film worth watching even if you wait until it goes to netflix.

the language of friendship

2011-12-27T17:46:00.001-05:00

everyone looks at things a little bit differently. the problem arises when two people think so differently it is like they are speaking different languages. this can be ok if both parties realize this . if only one party is aware this relationship is doomed .unfortunately i have had this happen to me often. i always realize that the other person just doesn't understand what i am saying or where i am coming from. often i make allowances for their lack of understanding, but eventually when i lose my patience the friendship blows up. many people think everyone must think the way they do. consideration for differences must go both ways. one party can't always pick up the slack.

Happy Chanukah from UJA Federation

2011-12-27T14:24:00.000-05:00

i just had to post this one. these kids are too cute

The story of Kamtza and Bar Kamtza

2011-12-26T17:19:00.000-05:00

as you can see there is nothing new under the sun. unfortunately. may we all learn from the past so we are not doomed to repeat it. may the geula come sooner rather than later.
this video is a little long but it gets the point across .

peace now

2011-12-26T16:34:00.001-05:00

i think that a lot of jews believe that v'ahavtah l'rayacha komoch means you just have to love your fellow jew that is kamocha. or at least the charedim in beit shemesh believe this. does anyone remember why the beis hamikdash was destroyed? hmmmm i seem to remember it was due to sinas chinam amongst jews.

today we celebrate chanukah about the rededication of the beis hamikdash. g-d help us all. hopefully moshiach will come soon. we need some peace amongst our own brethren.

Segregated Buses?! - the Dry Bones Blog

2011-12-25T15:45:00.000-05:00

this is one way of looking at the issue...Segregated Buses?! - the Dry Bones Blog

How Do You Spell Channukkahh

2011-12-24T22:41:00.001-05:00

the value of a mitzvah.

2011-12-23T11:50:00.001-05:00

do you think that there is value in each and every mitzvah a person does, or is it the sum total that is important?

i believe that every mitzvah a person does has value no matter how many or few.

i think that every mitzvah a person does scores "points" with the one above. some of us may do more mitzvos than others, but it does not mean that if someone does fewer mitzvos that those they perform do not count. in a way they count more because it may be more difficult for them to actually do those they actually do.

judaism is not all or nothing. the torah is broken down into 613 mitzvos instead of being just one chunk for a reason. i believe that it is because it would be too overwhelming to be tackled all in one shot . its much easier to achieve total observance bit by bit (mitzvah by mitzvah).

Watch this.... You will definitely share this......mp4

2011-12-22T23:50:00.000-05:00

i love this video. it displays the true meaning of mitzvah goreret mitzvah. if only we could clearly see the effects of kindness as this video does. if only people were always this kind.

"The Kung Fu Maccabees" sing Chanuka lighting

2011-12-21T18:11:00.003-05:00

this is just the cutest chanukah video that i have seen ever. enjoy!

art is in the eye of the beholder

2011-12-20T21:50:00.000-05:00

when i spotted this pendant at a booth in bryant park i thought that it was a menorah pendant . when i looked up the artist's website www.momoglass.com i found out that the artist calls this pendant a flower pendant. i could care less what the artist imagined this pendant. to me its a menorah. turns out the artist is israeli and when i stopped by the booth again i told the salesgirl in the booth that i thought to pendant looked like a menorah and she said that others had told her that before. i think that this is cool. then again it is also cool that a jewish artist makes flower pendants that resemble menorahs even if he does not intend to.
i wore this pendant to work today and a jewish customer told me that she really liked my menorah necklace . i said thank you . then again , when i asked a gentile co-worker what she thought the pendant was of she told me it looked like a flower. so hey , you never know. i think that its wonderful that a menorah can look like a beautiful flower.
happy first night of chanukkah!

Chanuka, Oh Chanukah!

2011-12-20T19:35:00.000-05:00

have an incredible chanukah!

The Jewish Museum New York | Art Exhibition | New York Jewish Film Festival 2012: Films and Times

2011-12-19T21:03:00.000-05:00

The Jewish Museum New York | Art Exhibition | New York Jewish Film Festival 2012: Films and Times
its that time of year again. almost . the jewish film festival will be january 11-26 , 2012. there will be a lot of good films. if you don't decide to go i will review the ones that i like on this blog so you will know which will be worth catching at a later date.

weiss' bakery on ave m

2011-12-19T08:13:00.001-05:00

the VERY best sufganiot in flatbush can be purchased at weiss' bakery on avenue m. there are 3 choices- caramel filled, custard filled or jelly filled. i'm not a big fan of jelly donuts so i didn't try one there, but the custard filled and the caramel filled are THE best. if you are going to ingest a billion calories these donuts are the best way to go.

Pella Productions Presents - Holiday Party (Tonight Tonight)

2011-12-18T20:12:00.000-05:00

hmm... these guys look a little older than the maccabeats. are any of them single??

on matisyahu

2011-12-17T20:30:00.000-05:00

when i first heard of matisyahu i was intrigued. he was a chasidic reggae singer. i can't say that i followed his career much since reggae isn't my thing. i did however register hearing about his break with lubavitch and his recent beard shaving.
on you tube i listened to matisyahu's recent interview where he speaks about his beard shaving. it was very profound. he said that when he became frum he felt he needed to immerse himself in all things religious but now he feels that things would still be cool if he shaved his beard. oh and that he still is observant. i found this profound as well as a bit uncomforting.
often when people become frum they go about it full force. sometimes this is what keeps them there. other times it spells trouble. they take on mitzvot too quickly before they are really ready and eventually its just too much all at once and then they let go of it all. this does not always happen . with some its just a personality thing. this is how they approach everything which actually is how matisyahu described himself. i think that its any one's guess what will happen. he may be just taking some time to normalize and he may still remain religious. i do not know what has perpetuated this quest of his. i don't know if something happened to make him feel this way or if it was the natural course of things that brought him to this point. it must be especially difficult to go through this stage as a public figure. i wish him well. i hope he figures things out , remains frum and becomes stronger for it.

shabbat shalom

2011-12-16T06:07:00.000-05:00

every week i vow to get more sleep and every week it is the same. i do not get enough sleep. the weekend is almost here and i do not have many weekend plans so my sleep debt will go down . have a good shabbos everyone. zzzz....zzzz....

gone but not really

2011-12-15T21:58:00.001-05:00

when someone close passes on it is upsetting because they are no longer alive. you can't speak to them anymore. you can't spend time with them anymore. oddly as final as death is what no one ever manages to tell you is that though they are no longer with us physically they are still alive and well in your thoughts. their memory lives on in your memories. in a way they are no longer themselves as they are a part of you.
my paternal grandparents passed twenty years ago. it doesn't seem that long ago i know they are gone, but i still feel their presence.. my maternal grandmother passed away almost ten years ago. it took me a long time to get over her passing. she was such a strong force of life. i missed her laugh and the love only a grandparent can impart. my dad passed away a year and a half ago. i don't know where the time has gone. so many memories. so much left unsaid. i have learned that even though someone has passed one still has time to re-examine one's relationship with them. though it may have been better to have done this when the person was still alive its better late than never. they still live on in your brain so you best try to sort things out.
people only pass away physically.

Honika Electronica

2011-12-13T23:28:00.000-05:00

yeah i know. its yet another hanukkah video. this one is corny and yet ultra cute. it has that seventies chick that shows up so often in jewish satire. check it out.!

"The Shidduch Hits the Fan" - The Groggers

2011-12-13T01:53:00.000-05:00

this video made me laugh.

The Maccabeats - Miracle - Matisyahu - Hanukkah

2011-12-13T00:37:00.000-05:00

i like the maccabeats version of this song much better than the actual matisyahu video of this song. i also like the fact that women are included in the video. its also cool that mayim bialik and her two sons are featured in this video.

¡Shabbat Shalom!

2011-12-09T09:57:00.004-05:00

this is the cutest video. i could not resist posting it! enjoy! oh, and have a great shabbos all!

the perfect purse

2011-12-08T09:25:00.000-05:00

i have been looking for the perfect purse for the past ten years. about ten years ago the armpit purse became in style . an armpit purse is a purse with a short strap so the purse sits right under your armpit if you wear it over your shoulder. i find the idea of an armpit purse extremely impractical for new york city living. besides i like purses with long straps so i can position my purse over my shoulder and across my body. this way my purse will be secure and un-smelly.
i also do not like the purses that have a front pocket that opens into a wallet . its a great idea but often these pocket wallets have zippers that unzip on three corners which makes me fear i may lose the contents every time i open it. if i just opt not to use this feature i feel like its a waste of purse space and it must be weighing me down so why bother?
i don't like purses that don't zip shut or have a zipper that doesn't totally zip up as is often the case. i never quite understood this feature. why buy a purse that doesn't completely enclose my valuables ?
about two weeks ago i bought a purse that is near perfect. the shoulder strap is long enough, it does not have a built in wallet and the zipper on the main section mostly closes shut. it would be the perfect purse if the main section was slightly wider so it wasn't such a tight fit for my kindle, but the fact that my kindle fits at all is pretty cool. this purse is also a neutral color and light weight . its leather so i don't have to worry if i forget an umbrella. the contents of my purse will stay dry.

ili world leather makes this perfect purse. ili has a booth at the bryant park, union square and columbus circle holiday markets in nyc. i am in love.

Chanukah Jewish Rock of Ages - Official Hanukkah Video

2011-12-07T06:01:00.001-05:00

and so it begins. the viral videos of the chanukah season. this one is pretty good. the only problem that i have with these spoofs is that it makes me want to listen to the originals . the only one that i actually liked better than the originals is the maccabeats candlelight video. i like their version better than tao cruz and mike tompkins' versions.

New York Times Rocket Into Roses

2011-12-06T06:22:00.002-05:00

talk about making lemons into lemonade this man makes missiles into menorahs. it is truly beautiful. it takes an amazing person to even think of doing something like this. he really personifies gam zu l'tovah. .

secret admirer

2011-12-05T01:01:00.001-05:00

often the only guy willing to approach a woman at a singles event is the nerdy guy one doesn't want to go out with. even though said woman does not have any interest in said nerd, she still must give him credit for actually having the oomph to actually approach her.
i was talking to one of the "nerdier" types recently . i hate to label him as such. he really is a nice person even though i do not know anyone i would set him up with. anyway, he was telling me how he is still interested in my friend, but she doesn't give him the time of day. the sad part is he was so sincere that i really felt bad. it wouldn't help for me to intervene on his behalf because i know that she would not appreciate him or even appreciate hearing about his sincere interest in her. she would just think "oy why do only the nerds show interest in me?" so i won't bother irritating her. too bad though. its always nice to have an admirer even if its not mutual .

must drive car

2011-12-03T23:01:00.000-05:00

among the geriatric set the most important requirement of a romantic partner is that he/she must still be able to drive a car. this of course makes me pause and think . is this what it all boils down to ? what does this mean for singles under 80 ? perhaps this means that the most important quality in a partner is if he/she can get you where you need to go. for the geriatric this means a car, for those of us who don't yet qualify for medicare this might simply mean "does this person help us get where we need to be in life?" not so simple to answer and i wish just having a valid driver's licence would do the trick.

single gender buses

2011-12-01T21:33:00.003-05:00

all this talk about women sitting in the back of the bus and men sitting in the front of the bus on "mehadrin" buses in israel has made me not want to visit israel again. after much thought i've come up with a better solution. there should be single gender buses in israel. this way no one has to be designated back of the bus status. i find it insulting to pay full fare for a bus ticket and not be able to sit anywhere i would like on a bus. if there were separate gender buses i would be much less insulted by the separation of the sexes. im not quite sure how family outings would go if there were gender separate buses, but i suspect there is not much whole family time among those who require separate seating on buses.
i don't understand the reasoning for making the women sit in the back of buses or making men and women walk on separate sides of the sidewalk. i suppose there need to be different hours of the day for men and women to shop in a grocery store or the post office. perhaps men and women should live in separate homes and children should only be conceived via artificial insemination. after birth the child should live with the mother if she is a girl and with the father if he is a boy.
i would imagine it matters less who you marry if men and women are so separate. you cant squabble if you don't spend all that much time together.
every generation adds their own chumrahs , but this one of extreme separation of the sexes would make me go otd if i was part of a community that upheld such laws.
p.s. its worse than i even thought in israel. i just found this failed messiah .

about gaga

2011-11-30T22:38:00.000-05:00

i think that the least modest holiday windows i have ever seen are the lady gaga holiday windows at barney's department store on madison avenue. even so , there were still quite a few good photo ops that were more kosher. gaga's workshop on the fifth floor is a bit more family friendly than the windows. no matter. i am including some of photos. those of the family friendly kind. most of these photos were actually taken inside of barney's on the fifth floor.

no cookies for me

2011-11-29T22:47:00.001-05:00

now i get it. those of us who don't fit the cookie cutter mold of average are doomed to have a harder time finding a spouse. even though i get it , i do not think that it is fair. no matter. i still have to be true to myself, otherwise i won't be happy. sigh.

its the little things

2011-11-28T05:56:00.000-05:00

what do you miss about a person when they are gone? i miss being able to ask their opinion . i miss having someone who knows me as well as they do. i miss going to the movies with them. i miss spending holidays with them. i miss their smile . i miss knowing that i have someone i can count on. no matter what.
i miss these things in those who i was close to who have moved away, drifted away or have passed away.
so many wonderful connections. so important to appreciate them in the moment, not just after they have passed.

blast from the past

2011-11-26T19:36:00.001-05:00

visiting old haunts in my hometown is always exciting. you never know who you will run into provided you recognize them. yesterday i was sitting in one of the few kosher eateries back home and i was looking around the room for a familiar face. i realized that it is odd that i recognized so few. for a moment it dawned on me that there may be more people there that i know but i just didnt recognize them.sure enough as i was leaving an old classmate of mine approached me and said hello. i did not recognize him at all. im so glad he recognized me. its so nice to run into old friends. i wonder how many others i have run into lately that i dont recognize. now i really feel how much time has passed.

have a thankful thanksgiving

2011-11-24T10:41:00.001-05:00

thanksgiving is one of my favorite holidays because it is a secular holiday. i get to eat a big meal , get together with friends and family but not have a day of extra long davening.
i am thankful to be living in the united states of america . i pray for peace and harmony this thanksgiving . i wish everyone health and happiness as well. this isn't a perfect country, but what country is ? those of us who live here are blessed to live in a country where we are free to practise our religion and not fear for our lives .

i blog therefore i am

2011-11-22T23:09:00.000-05:00

some like tweeting, i like blogging. i like putting my 2 cents out there and seeing how others react to it. not necessarily others i actually have met in "real life". i like the supportive community blogs offer. blogs help me feel like i am not alone in the world. sometimes my blogger friends know me better than people who meet me in real life.many of my blogger friends know me without the distraction of externals. thanks for reading . thanks for commenting.
its important to have friends who know me in real life, but its also good share with others outside ones circles.
blogging reaches out to the world. it makes me feel like there is life outside those who i know in person and that they too share challenges and joys of life .
sometimes the world seems so disjointed. blogging helps the world feel more connected.

burned out

2011-11-21T00:51:00.000-05:00

i marvel at people who think that the problem with singles is that we don't want to get married. i wish that was the problem. the problem is much deeper. its hard to even get to date one. too much e-mail and phone tag. my problem is i usually give my number to a guy on a dating website the day before i know that i will be available to speak with him. bad move. i should really give my number a few days before i know that i will have time to chat because the guys i give my number to always manage to call me at a time i am unavailable. more times than not i dislike the possible future date's voice. i realize that this is shallow, but i admit to it. anyway, if the guy has a bad voice i drag my feet about calling him back. if only he had called when i was home/available and i would have been able to speak to him straight away. i would be able to avoid the awful voiced's phone message and be forced to talk to him before he had a chance to leave a message.
i know this is a tangent, but my other pet peeve is when a guy calls at a time when he purposely thinks i am not home so they can leave a message. i get home from work early some days of the week and i always love surprising a guy by answering the phone when the guy thinks he will be leaving a message. maybe they just want to listen to my phone voice first. who knows. perhaps frumster should have and option to record your voice on your profile.( perhaps they actually have this feature, but im too old school to have noticed)
in any event i have to call back some guy who left me a phone message several days after i was available to chat with him and i really do not fancy his phone voice.....

the secret life of the american teenager

2011-11-20T11:05:00.001-05:00

a few weeks ago i found the show the secret life of an american teenager on netflix. for those who have never heard of it, its a show about a fifteen year old girl who gets pregnant and keeps her baby. the parents of this girl are played by molly ringwald formerly of the brat pack 80's movies and mark derwin formerly of guiding light.
mayim bialik plays the guidance counselor one season and one of the daughters from seventh heaven whose name escapes me plays the guidance counselor another season.
all i can say is that a lot has changed since i was in high school. the kids in this show aren't the "bad" kids . the girl who gets pregnant was an otherwise goodie-goodie who got pregnant from doing it one time in band camp (an ode to the american pie movies that was not lost on me) . i feel old saying this but this would never have happened back when i went to school in the yeshiva high school i went to . for one we were too frum and far too immature.even the local public high school nearby did not have pregnant or teen mothers in attendance.
i don't thing that the secret life of the american teenager makes teen parenthood seem idyllic. its just that it makes it seem like teen pregnancy is a fact of life and should be treated like a normal part of life. this is what i find disturbing. to me childhood is sacred. a kid should be able to be a kid as long as they are not a high school graduate. the secret life of the american teenager is not quite refuting my theory, but it saying that kids are all sleeping around, even good kids, so why fight it. this is what i find disturbing about it. having a child changes one's life. this should not be done when one is a high school student and a high school student should not be doing anything to get into that type of situation.
yes, i am showing my age .

birthday parties

2011-11-15T23:30:00.001-05:00

birthday parties are the singles equivalent to weddings , bar mitzvahs , siddur parties, baby naming kiddush etc.we may not have spouses or children but birthdays our ours. of course they are usually of the forever 29th birthday variety.
birthday parties for singles are fun but also bittersweet.would we celebrate our birthdays as much if we were coupled? given the great effort singles expend hiding the exact age they are it is ironic how the birthday party remains significant to celebrate so elaborately. then again, it makes sense. to the single the number of the birthday seems more important thus why not celebrate it?
until 120 all.

too much in common

2011-11-14T14:24:00.001-05:00

when i was in college i had a roommate who had the same first name as i do and the same first initial of our last names. my dad passed away a year and a half ago and her dad passed away a few months ago . turns out our fathers were born the same year a day apart . is this just a coincidence? i do not know , but it does give me the chills thinking about it.

age limits

2011-11-13T21:23:00.000-05:00

when i was younger all of the singles events had age ranges that were never upheld. there was a crew of men 60-80 who were let in even when the age range was 28-38. i was at an event once with a friend who was 35 and she saw her friend's father there. obviously he was outside of the age limit. now certain groups are very strict about age ranges not even letting someone a year or two above the age range in.
i disagree with the groups that stagger the ages of men and women. whenever they do that i know that there will only be much older men there.
in theory i understand why the powers that be are strict about age ranges, but i also know for a fact that many who are way above the age range are let in if they know the people running the event. if i really wanted to i could push the envelope and get in, but some of the organizers of these events get really rude, so i don't bother.
i wouldn't have such a problem being closed out of an event if there were equivalent events with quality singles for my age range. there are not.
if i had true emunah i would be able to say that its just not meant to be that i go to some singles events but its hard to have emunah without just feeling like i've given up.
i think that there could be a happy medium when it comes to age limits at events. its not the person five years older that you don't want attending, its the person who is 10-20 years older that you want to filter out.
yet again, i am never the right age at the right time.

Occupy Birthright Israel, Un-Occupy Palestine .. H-shem yerachem

2011-11-12T20:06:00.005-05:00

i had a very hard time getting through this whole video without wanting to lose my lunch. the only thing i agree with is that these young people should never live in israel. they all live in a country where they are welcome to live as born jews. they of course missed the point of birthright israel, and i agree with them that those who sponsor the birthright trips wasted there money on these people. i think that they ought to continue occupying wall street with money their jewish parents have given them to look so well fed and so well dressed while they aren't out trying to find employment of any sort even if it is not up to their bourgeois standards.
i wonder if these young anti-birthrights actually knew anything about being an observant jew that they would still be occupying anti birthright wall street. i wonder if they really knew that tikkun olam does not mean social action would they continue to bash secular jewish social action organizations.
these young people are looking at israel through the lens of being an american jew where they are living in a christian country yet they think israel should not be a jewish state. the "palastinians" are not the equivalent of african americans. the palastinians are more equivalent to an enemy living in one's mist. mohammed abbas says as much in public. in private i am sure he is even more militant.
i challenge all anti-birthrighters to spend a year immersed in learning about what real judaism is before they condemn the mainstream. by their militancy they show their ignorance. but i forget, the anti -birthrighters do not believe in ahavas yisroel. they haven't ever been taught the concept. they have been taught v'ahavta l'rayacha kamocha, but they don't believe that applies to fellow jews who are kamocha.
oh well. one more reason not to occupy wall street.

is 30 the the new twenty?

2011-11-10T22:29:00.000-05:00

for the past 10 years i have heard people say that 30 is the new twenty and 40 is the new 30 but is it really? and if this is true, should it be?
longevity is certainly a factor of the the "new" decade definitions. when people lived shorter lives it was more important to be more serious about life sooner. with shorter life spans it was more important to have children in one's early twenties because having a child at 40 would mean one had even less time to see them grown up.
though its nice to have extended adolescence im not sure its necessarily ideal. i think it would be nice to have a spouse and a family earlier in life so one could be more settled earlier and have longer to spend in the more "settled " stage of life.
then again, no matter how "settled" life can seem, there are always curve balls . someone who gets married young could also be divorced or widowed young.
i think that it is good that people are given a longer acceptable time to be young and unsettled these days than they did fifty years ago.it eases the pressure.
i realize that in frum society people are still expected to marry young, but i guess since i am more modern orthodox, there have always been a lot of people around who haven't married young.
as much as frum society thinks that they aren't effected by secular society they are still effected by it. this is why there are a lot of frum people who are in extended young adulthood.

shell shock

2011-11-07T20:46:00.000-05:00

when i was growing up the only garment referred to as a shell was a sleeveless shirt with a conservative neckline whenever i hear people referring to a clingy long sleeved shirt as a shell i get annoyed because this is not really a shell. nevertheless, recently i have purchased a few clingy long sleeved "shells" in jewish flatbush because they are the only shirt of its kind that is opaque even in white. i even purchased the high necklined sleeveless shells for the same reason. they are opaque. i cringe when i buy them though i admit they fulfill their purpose.

hiding out

2011-11-06T11:38:00.000-05:00

ive been hiding out for the last week. i have gone to work and various social functions, but when i am at home i have been hiding out. i have been watching netflix marathons and have been so engrossed that i haven't been doing anything more productive like trolling dating sites for possible dates , sprucing up my resume or even crocheting or knitting projects. though i have been enjoying hibernation i also realize that it is not the best option. i usually pride myself in not stagnating . i haven't hidden like this for years so i guess its ok to do for a little while. i just can't let it get out of hand. life is for living . tv is a great escape in moderation, but its not really living life.

gifts

2011-11-01T18:12:00.001-04:00

i believe that some people are born with certain gifts. a gift is something someone is good at naturally that others have to work at to achieve. ever notice how some people know what business venture to choose and are always profitable while someone else struggles with parnassah. some people have a good memory for names and faces while others can never remember them.
some men know how to speak with women and always have a girlfriend/wife regardless of wealth or lack thereof. they just have that gift. with others no amount of wealth or good looks can make up for their awkwardness. they may be able to be taught social grace, but it still would not be as fluent as someone who was born with it. others are computer buffs who could have given steve jobs a run for his money. those whithout that type of gift can still use a computer but would have never have invented the micro chip.

i have a freakishly good memory for names and faces and for things that interest me. i am also a creative person. creativity comes easy to me . though one can be taught crafts or photography , creativity is really innate . you can learn the rules, but unless one has a propensity or gift in these areas there is no creativity.
everyone has a gift, the challenge is to be able to appreciate it no matter how great or small it is and to make use of it to maximize one's potential.

toys are us

2011-10-31T00:03:00.000-04:00

i went to toys are us in times square today. it was a lot of fun looking at all of the toys and riding the ferris wheel. i like toys are us almost as much as i like dylan's candy bar. i do like dylan's the best because candy always trumps toys.
for today's adventure i was joined by a friend and her daughter, but i have visited toys are us child-free, just not today.
for those who may not have visited toys are us in times square, its a huge store. it kind of reminds me of a mall. when i was a kid in the midwest i would always hang out at the mall. the mall was kind of like a mini city unto its self. fun was everywhere. i miss the suburban malls of my youth. i have to go to toys are us in times square more often.

ows

2011-10-29T20:53:00.000-04:00

recently i read in metro ny or am ny that occupy wall street has people giving out free food to the "protesters" in zuccoti park , however they aren't so happy that the homeless have gotten word of this. the protesters are now going to scale back on the quality of their free food because the homeless have been consuming so much of their free food. something about this does not sit right with me. i'm not quite sure why....

sleep

2011-10-27T23:42:00.001-04:00

i normally do not have nightmares. last night was a harrowing exception. though i haven't been obsessing about 9/11 lately i managed to have a terrorism nightmare. the scene of the nightmare was union square. several planes landed in union square while elsewhere in manhattan there were beheadings. this nightmare seemed too real. i woke up from the nightmare to find myself silently screaming. it was so-ooo--ooo unsettling. i turned the light on in my room for a little bit and after waking .
it was definitely one of those dreams you would not wish to come true.

goodbyes

2011-10-26T06:11:00.000-04:00

apartment buildings have small apartments that one rents but does not own thus they are conducive to people living there for short time periods and then moving out. one of my neighbors who has lived in my apartment building six months less than the amount of time i have lived here is moving out. eight years is a long time to be neighbors. it will be sad to see them go. they do have four kids now so it is about time that they should be moving to a house. no matter . they will be missed. not only are they moving to a house, they are moving to baltimore. now i will have people to visit in baltimore. its bittersweet. i am happy for them, but i am sad as well. i am sad for me. when people move things change. if they had just moved to a house in brooklyn it would have been a big change, but i would have still seen them periodically. moving to a different state is different. im not friendly enough with them to call them and chat from time to time so unless i happen to have reason to go to baltimore i probably won't be in touch. this is life. this is the way it is supposed to be. its so important to appreciate friends and neighbors when they live nearby. this is just a goodbye for now not a goodbye forever even though it kind of seems more like a goodbye forever.

acts of g-d

2011-10-23T11:11:00.002-04:00

when the earthquake hit japan last year a friend of mine immediately said that she thought it was 'min hashamayim' which of course it was, but tell me what grievous sin did japan do to deserve this? some imbeciles tried to cook up reasons like it was because of the yeshiva bachurim who were caught with drugs, but really why an earthquake? why not an earthquake in germany or perhaps egypt or iraq? more evil has been meted out against innocents elsewhere, so tell me why is this justice? i'm still not sure why the tsunami occurred in thailand or hurricane katrina in new orleans. dont' tell me any lame excuses these faux nevi'im or our times have cooked up.
i think now would be a good time for a an earthquake in gaza. then people would finally understand why the israeli government made the jewish settlers leave their homes there. a tsunami where the recently freed terrorists are celebrating their release in exchange for gilad shalit would be nice right about now. if that would happen i would gladly accept the hokey reasons "why" hurricane katrina, the earthquake in japan and the tsunami in thailand happened. until then i do not want to hear such stupidity. if an earthquake hit where abbas sat and swallowed him and his henchman up i would call that clear divine justice. if as soon as the terrorists were released the earth below them swallowed them up like korach i would say justice has been served.
i am waiting for an act of g-d to make things right in israel, because that is the only way there will be peace. so bring it on. we are ready.

gilad shalit

2011-10-18T20:43:00.001-04:00

today gilad shalit was returned to israel in exchange for way too many terrorists. to me this shows that one jewish soul is worth so much to another jew that they would be willing to go to such lengths to save another jew. i agree that politically this may or may not have been the best way to release him from captivity, but that's for someone else's post. i for one think its amazing that he is still alive . i was not so sure that he was. the fact that the israelis would free so many terrorists in exchange did make me think that the israelis believed he was still alive. no matter what, i believe that his return to israel is a cause for great celebration especially since this has happened during sukkos.

occupy a sukkah

2011-10-18T06:15:00.001-04:00

im getting sick of hearing about this occupy wall street stuff. it seems everyone in the crowd has an ipod, iphone , ipad and various other electronics that i do not possess. which also begs the following question. are they giving them out? where can i sign up? is un-employment that generous these days? i actually have a job, but it looks like instead of 'let them eat cake' , let them beam technology is the rant of the day.
anyhow, they would all do better occupying a sukkah , preferably away from wall street, maybe somewhere in the desert for forty years and collect mun. .... oh wait, there isn't wifi in the desert.

chol hamoed

2011-10-16T22:31:00.000-04:00

i haven't been at work since before yom tov. its always fun coming back to work on chol hamoed and getting surprised with all of the new changes at work.sometimes in the space of a few days people can quit or get fired and new employees hired. sometimes new policies are put in effect that i eventually find out about because everyone forgets i wasn't told about them because i was out when they were put in effect.
the best part about going back to work after yom tov is going to work feeling well rested and not being able to remember what transpired the last day i had been at work.

sukkot greetings

2011-10-12T08:26:00.001-04:00

have an incredible sukkot . the east coast forecasters have been forecasting rain, but i wouldn't take them too seriously . for about three weeks after hurricane irene the forecast was rain and it did not rain EVERY day for those three weeks. so-o-o-o we shall see.
sukkot always is at the time of year when you could be wearing sandals or down jackets. it is so unpredictable. im just glad im going to be home for the holiday so i don't have to pack two wardrobes for yom tov.
i usually go away for rosh hashannah and yom kippur, so when sukkot rolls around, i like to stay at home and chill.

p.s - the pictures posted on this post were taken last year in union square during the sukkah city competition.

for better or worse

2011-10-11T23:07:00.000-04:00

do some people live charmed lives while others have bad luck? is life a challenge for everyone that no one escapes? i think that some people have it easier than others . its not that everyone does not have their own difficulties, but some people have bigger tests than others do.
people always try to tell me that people who have managed to get married and have kids have it bad too whenever i feel bad about my lot in life. now come on, im not an idiot. happily married life has its challenges as well as parenthood, but i wouldn't say that not having either is having a better life or an equally bad life.
what about people who have horrible diseases? i don't think that's an easier life than someone who is healthy and single or healthy and married with children.
perhaps small challenges seem large to the weak, but a small misfortune is not equal to a large misfortune even if one might be able to handle it.
i reconcile the fact that some have easier lives than others to the fact that life is not fair and that we don't understand why some have easier lives than others. hashem has a reason why this happens, but we don't know why.

yonah

2011-10-11T07:28:00.004-04:00

one only has to read the story of yonah to realize that we jews today are the same people as we were in biblical times. who but a jewish prophet would try to hide from hashem when the master of the universe wants him to get the non-jewish city to repent all because he didn't want to make the jewish people look bad? who else would have the chutzpah to do this all in the name of ahavas yisroel? only a jewish person would do this. then again, a lot of jews would be looking out for the people of ninveh it would be modern times and they would denigrate their own people for not being able to do t'shuvah. then again perhaps this was the point of the story of yonah. it shows us that there was a time when jews stood up for fellow jews and were protective of our brethren even when we aren't perfect . then again it also shows that hashem loves all people(for example ninveh) so modern jews who look out for the good of the world and social justice are not wrong either. hashem needed yonah to tell the city of ninveh to repent so they would not be destroyed independent of how it might make the jewish people appear.

jew , not a jew

2011-10-10T18:26:00.000-04:00

i saw this clip posted on frum satire and i just had to write my own post about it. as a frum person i have always known that though ben stiller is billed as a jewish actor he is not. in this monologue i have heard the best rendition of what a child from a mixed marriage is. stiller says that his dad is jewish and his mother is irish catholic. the torah says he is not jewish but the mirror says he is. another person who could say the same monologue is sarah jessica parker. the mirror says she is jewish but her mother isnt. adam hebrew hammer goldberg and kevin kline are also have jewish fathers. that must be the most difficult. you look jewish, and have a jewish last name. everyone thinks you are jewish but you really arent. i guess you either pretend you are jewish or i don't know what.
there of course is always the opposite- those who are jewish but no one thinks is. kyra sedgwick's mother is jewish but her dad isn't. rain pryor's mom is jewish but her dad , richard pryor was not. lisa cosby show bonet is jewish because her mom is . rashida jones is jewish because her mom peggy lipton is, but then again she actually looks jewish.
all i need is adam sandler to turn this post into a song.

holidays and families

2011-10-09T20:47:00.001-04:00

holidays always make me think about family and that i actually have a mother and siblings who love me. when you live far away from your family you forget that there actually people out there that really care about you. i have friends and yes they are like family, but they are the family a person earns. parents and siblings are the family you have because you were born into them and they care for you anyway. they are the people who have known you most of your life and their lives. its hard to be away from them because there really isn't anyone who can replace them. its important to love and appreciate them and remember that they are rooting for you even when they aren't physically near.

post yom kippur thoughts

2011-10-08T23:09:00.002-04:00

i don't enjoy fasting, but other than that i don't really mind yom kippur. i always use an english-hebrew machzor and read the translation every so often. the prayers are really quite beautiful. i actually enjoy it more than rosh hashanah.
musaf today ended ant 3:10 and we had an almost two hour break. it was great. we even ended neilah five minutes early.
this was the first time in years that i was able to stand for all of neilah. i think this was due to the lovely fall weather .
this yom kippur as usual there has to be a spoiler to an idyllic holiday. the shul i attended today has benches. during minchah, a woman wanted to sit in the bench i was sitting at. i moved over so she could squeeze by, but instead she decided to sit in the two inch space between me and the end of the bench and half on me. i wanted to scream at her for being so obnoxious, but it was yom kippur, so i did not. i moved instead. i didnt want to let her ruin my yom kippur.
anyway, im glad to have made in through yom kippur and am looking forward to a peaceful sukkot and simchat torah.

my most favorite dessert

2011-10-05T10:39:00.012-04:00

i know that i'm doing weight watchers right now and i don't want to be a bad influence on anyone who is trying to stay fit, but i must hawk this product. trader joe's had THE most delicious seasonal ice cream in its freezer today, namely pumpkin ice cream. it tastes like pumpkin pie without the crust. it is the kind of indulgence that is worth every calorie. oh, and a 1/2 cup serving is only 6 point plus.

on answering back

2011-10-04T21:23:00.000-04:00

there is nothing like a new year to push one to rejoining frumster as a paying member , that and a reduced monthly membership rate. so i renew my membership, after all i had 4 messages waiting for me. two out of four were ok so i responded to the two good ones. to the two ng (no good) ones i sent the prepared rejection letter. one of them was the one in diapers from a few weeks ago so i after i sent him the rejection letter i immediately blocked him. the other ng guy sent me a note back . already that was a bad sign. only losers try to continue dialogue after the rejection letter. against my better judgement and general mental health, i read the note instead of just deleting it. sour grapes said that after reading my rejection letter he realized he sent the contact letter to me by accident because now he realizes we have nothing in common and he must have meant to contact someone else when he sent me a message. what a prince. i promptly blocked him. too bad i sent him the prepared rejection notice . i should have left well enough alone . now i remember why i had cancelled my frumster membership a few months ago.

new years resolutions....

2011-10-02T22:03:00.000-04:00

i'd like to start this new year on the right foot by going to sleep at eleven o'clock. it will indeed be a challenge. i am going to wind down for the next hour so i will be able to reach my goal. wish me luck. layla tov!

tashlich

2011-10-02T09:10:00.000-04:00

i have always loved tashlich. i have always liked the idea of throwing my averos into the water . i especially like being in nature and near the water . when i was growing up there was a lake near my shul where we would do tashlich. as a kid it was especially fun because there were a lot of ducks near that lake.
in brooklyn they tend to get a bit too creative for my taste when it comes to tashlich. they will fill a water fountain and add fish and say you can say tashlich there. fortunately this year i was able to have a real tashlich . i walked to prospect park and said tashlich at a lake there. there were ducks and swans there. a lot of people trying to have a more meaningful tashlich were there as well.

jewish new years greetings

2011-09-27T22:58:00.000-04:00

wishing everyone a sweet new year filled with health and happiness and everything good. may we have the strength to daven well and the willpower not to overdo it on the sweets. ok , that last one was directed at me. fortunate for me i like honey but not honey cake ,so the sweets won't be as difficult to resist. looking forward to catching up with all of you next year.

the holiday meltdown

2011-09-26T00:00:00.001-04:00

tishrei is the jewish holiday season. when you are single or don't have everything required for a family oriented holiday season the blues can sometimes take over. sometimes the mantra 'well at least i have my health ' isn't sufficient to keep one smiling (though it should be).
if you are waiting for that black swan to appear and change everything in your life and well it doesn't appear well then we are in the same boat. but this is what i do when the melancholy blues try to take over..... i review this mantra.... life is not fair. it doesn't matter how good you are or how frum you are. life does not always turn out the way you would like it to. it does not mean that one should not be frum since things will not be perfect for you even if you always do the right thing. it just means that we do not understand why things happen the way they do. things may get better. thing may get worse. its best to focus on the good one has instead of just one what what lacks.
shanah tovah!

down and out

2011-09-25T09:57:00.001-04:00

unfortunately i know a lot of people who are going through tough times that have nothing to do with the economy. life has always been tough for these folk and 2011 is no different. people who are down and out tend to be focused inward and they don't give much thought to how they treat others because their woes are so many. i pity them but since im not a licensed professional i find it hard to be around them . i also fear that their melancholy is the type that can bring others down with them. i pity them but not enough to be brought down by their insanity.

all partied out

2011-09-24T21:44:00.031-04:00

i like attending parties, i do not enjoy hosting parties. over the years it has gotten a lot tougher to make a party. or shall we say its gotten a lot tougher for ME to make a party. just thinking about a guest list is exhausting. there is who i want to invite and then there are those i "should" invite for various reasons but don't especially want to invite. after mulling it over i usually opt not to make a party. and so the cycle continues. on the other hand i would not mind helping someone else make a party. i love bringing a dish or several to help someone else out. i don't even mind bringing the main dish. i just don't want to get the credit of having called the party my idea. too much pressure.
fortunately i have a tiny apartment so most of the time its a moot point that i don't want to host anything here. after all , my pad is too small. ( oh well!). how convenient.
sometimes i bypass the whole party issue by just inviting one person over for a meal. then if someone else gets wind of it i just say that i only invited one person , no biggie.
its just as well. when someone hosts lots of parties after awhile one starts to wonder if people really like hanging with them or are they so beloved because they host lots of parties.

The Maccabeats - Book of Good Life

2011-09-22T23:01:00.000-04:00

they have done it again. its another cutsie parody from the maccabeats and i love it. i also love how its frum but they don't hide the women. there is actually a scene with a couple and they show the women's section in shul .
shanah tovah

the new year

2011-09-21T22:34:00.001-04:00

i am so looking forward to the jewish new year of 5772. i love the idea of new beginnings. if there was a new year every four months or so it would be perfect so long as i didn't get a year older every four months. a birthday every twelve months is my limit.
5771 has been a tough one . for most of the year i was in avaylus (mourning) for my father and the rest of the year has been exhausting in my working and social life.
anticipation is often more fun than reality. this is why i am actively anticipating the new year. then again having something to look forward to makes the world a little sweeter.
looking forward to a happy new year for one and all.

itching to crochet

2011-09-20T00:20:00.001-04:00

i've been crocheting up a storm lately. i recently made a poncho some hats and several scarves. some were gifts but it is still is making me wonder if its a sign. am i crocheting winter apparel because it is going to be a cold winter or am i just really bored? hmm. i guess we will find out soon. fall is here. winter is not far off....