yom kippur

so yom kippur is upon us. its raining now in brooklyn. does this means that we are all noshers?(like if it rains on one's wedding day it means the bride is a nosher?) i hope not, since we will all be fasting this evening. at work people always ask me why jewish people have a day of atonement. is it because we have so much to atone for? i say that its a day for us to review our actions and improve ourselves. yom kippur is really a gift. hashem is giving us a chance to improve ourselves yearly. hashem doesnt want to punish us , therefore he gives us a set time to do teshuva. structure is good. this way we are forced to reflect. perhaps this year jewish people have alot to reflect upon. alot of teshuva to be done. if we just make the effort perhaps life will be better for us this year. perhaps there will be no more bernie madoffs, no rabbis selling body parts, no terror attacks in israel or india. i have to believe that teshuva and prayer help and that there is hativkah/hope.
have an easy fast and a meaningful yom kippur.

midwood memories

i like to kvetch about midwood as much as the best of them, but not today. i dont go to shul for shacharis every morning, but this year since elul, as ive been running to work every morning ive heard the shofar blowing from the shuls i pass by . no im not hearing things. this is midwood after all! im not sure why i hadnt noticed it before other years. i find it really cool.

tznuis overload

when the extra-long skirts were in vogue i remember hearing people say that they werent tznius. to be fair id heard this said before the extra-long skirt was in fashion. lately ive heard that its not tznuis to wear a long sleeved shirt under a short-sleeved or sleeveless dress . i suppose this is because ones eyes may focus on the less-sleeved portion of the dress instead of the fact the woman's arms are completely covered.
on some level i understand these chumrahs. whenever i used to see girls wearing the extra-long straight skirts i had to take a double take. i often thought these very frum-faced girls were wearing slacks. then again, its a shame that when long skirts are actually in style there is someone trying to think up a way not to enjoy it. with the layered look its tempting to do away with the extra layer and feel a little bad that one has to layer the dress to be tznius enough. then again, why should someone not be able to wear a long sleeved shirt under a pretty dress to make it tznius? can one only be tzanuah if one is a fashion dont ? is it better to feel bad because one cant wear a pretty sleeveless dress or is it better to make lemonade and wear a layer under it and make it tznius? anyway, lots of secular females wear t-shirts under sundresses and other sleeveless dresses because even secular woman feel more modest with another layer.
i do find it funny to see frum women wear long sleeves under a strapless dress, but then again at least they are trying to make the laws of tznius work for them instead of giving up on tznius . sometimes the high road is not so easy to follow. sometimes you have to take the middle road.... or bail!

scary messy

we all know the definition of neat, but what exactly constitutes too messy? how messy does one have to be to be considered scary messy?
messy is piles of papers all over but no apple cores on the floor or food anywhere outside of the fridge or kitchen cabinets unless one is eating a meal. food or goopy dirt everywhere constitutes dirty.
i am not as neat as i would like to be, but ive seen other friends' housekeeping skills and id say many have apartments that make me feel like im in my own home. i have never gotten so out of control that i would not invite a friend over.
scary messy is yet another level. its the level where one never lets anyone, not even close friends, into one's apartment. i suspect that i have a few friends or acquaintances who keep house scary messy because they will never let anyone besides themselves see the walls of their abode. heck, they know how i dont keep house. if they are still embarrassed for me to see their dwelling, well they are indeed scary messy housekeepers.
though i will never have a home as organized as martha stewart, i will say when im most at peace with the world my apartment is more organized. when im less enthused with life, my organizational skills peter out. much as i hate to admit it, this connection exists. this is why i pity the scary messy so. they are so far gone in more ways than one that their homes become scary messy. they are too weak to clean up after themselves, but have enough self respect not to invite anyone else into their mishmash.

all the lonely people...

the beatles had a song about all the lonely people... im thinking about it now because i know several eccentric lonely singles who met untimely deaths. its just so sad. they had such deep underlying psychological issues that made them so eccentric. though deep down one realized these singles had such deep-seated issues it was hard to internalize.when one heard of their untimely passing, it became all too apparent. we wished it wasnt so , but alas it was. some we could have helped had we not been in such denial , but for others there was no way we could have known the intensity of their illnesses. we havent (bh) known such turmoil so we would not have noticed these deficits in others.
hopefully those tormented souls are able to rest in peace now that they are in the next world , because in this world they knew no rest.

shanah tovah

i wish all of you a shanah tovah and a k'tivah v'chatimah tovah! speak to all of you next year!!

superpower meme

mike has tagged me in his superpower meme . he says he thinks that i have a superpower for reviewing books and critiquing movies. why thank you mike. i love books and movies and i enjoy having the opportunity to share my viewpoints on them with others. if this is a superpower i have, i would like to choose a superpower that i do not possess so i have something to covet.
now if i had to choose a superpower, what would it be??? well i certainly wouldnt want to read minds . i dont really want to know others thoughts unless they want to share them. im not that big of a yenta.
though i hate surprises i would not want to have the power to tell the future. i would not want to know about ills that will befall society unless i would have the superpower to change them.
i wouldnt want the power to make people rich. money makes the world go round, but it doesnt necessarily make one sameach b'chelko.
i would like to have the power to have a positive impact on others. not exactly a superpower, but a power no less. i hope to have a meaningful life and to share what i have experienced as well as what i will experience and hopefully enhance others with my contribution . i think that every person has the power to make the world a better place , i would like try to do this. if i could really change the world for the better even if it was ever so slightly, i will feel as though i have achieved alot. that would make me feel as powerful as wonder woman.

1. read the rules
2. write one super power you would like to have and what you would do with it.
3. write why you chose that superpower over everything else
4. tag and link 7 people and write why they would have an interesting meme.
5. fix your broken links

parentheses - because she has a lot of great insight she will make a great superpower meme.
katrina will make a great superpower meme because she is very practical and analytical so it will be fun to see her tackle fantasy.
web girl because she is one of my favorite bloggers and id love to hear what superpower she would choose.
talia beacause she has a great blog and doesnt often get tagged for memes.
profk because she is a crusader of causes which is somewhat like a superpower.
frum punk because he is imaginative so i think he would make a great superpower meme.
levadi because it would be interesting to see what superpower she would choose to help her find her bashert. also , she doesnt write often enough, so perhaps being tagged for a meme would prompt her to write more.

i would also like to that singleonthescene for tagging me. i dont recall being tagged multiple times for a meme. its a great honor. thanks mike and single on the scene!!

this was a most unusual meme. it challenged me to think much more other memes. thanks mike.

teshuva

for the most part people are who they are unless they make an effort to change . even then their internal tendencies are still there, its just up to us to decide which direction we channel them.
someone who is very excitable will likely always be this way unless he retrains himself to react differently and even then his first reaction might be to fly off the handle. he could also use his excitability to aid those who need a voice but are too quiet to voice them . they could be a public advocate since they well know how to criticize authority.
a very jappy girl might always want to wear chanel , but know she is not able to afford such luxury so she's merely a gap jap. this desire for the very best is not necessarily a bad thing. one could use this tendency to provide quality clothing for the poor so they will be presentable for job interviews.
i think that the idea of changing one's shortcomings into assets is what it means to do teshuva. one may not be able to change core personality traits, but one is capable of controlling how one uses them.

why be jewish?

often when jewish people are confronted by sincere converts to judaism they ask they "WHY would you want to convert" after all its no easy task to be jewish even if one is not observant. i think that a convert makes people turn inward and access ones own connection to judaism. it is different to have chosen to be jewish as opposed to being born jewish .when one is born jewish one can decide how jewish one wants to be but the pintele yid will always be there no matter what . a convert always must uphold his judaism to prove he really is a member of the tribe.
as a person who was born jewish i cant imagine being anything but jewish. christianity and islam dont interest me. if i wouldnt be jewish i wouldnt be any religion. but would i choose judaism? i dont know. its so hard to ask oneself a question that is so hypothetical that i cant be unbiased in my answer.
though i find this question so hard to answer i will also say that since i am jewish i cant imagine not being frum. it is so much a part of who i am. i have friends who have gone off the derech who think not being frum would bring me more dates. of course they arent frum but they dont have as many dates as i do. the truth is for my off the derech friends, not being frum is so much a part of who they are. it really has nothing to do with whether or not they think they will find a relationship. its just how they feel most comfortable. alas ... we all have to do what is best for us. which bring me back to the converts who make us contemplate our relationship with hashem. why be jewish? well because it is what we feel is right for us. or at the very least what i think is right for me.

9/11

im embarrassed to say that i almost forgot it was 9/11 yesterday and by the time i remembered it was too late to post about it, so im posting about it today. perhaps its a good thing that i forgot to blog about it. perhaps it means some of the pain has gone away. i dont mean to say that i shouldn't be sad that 9/11 happened or that so many were murdered, but i do think that the memory doesnt need to remain a fresh wound.
i did watch some of the memorial ceremony that was held at the wtc site. it still makes me cry. i think that the rainy weather was appropriate.
9/11 was one of the scariest days of my life . though i was in manhattan at the time, b"h i was not in downtown manhattan when it occurred. one could see the smoke from the upper east side where i was at the time. that was bad enough. watching the footage on the television at work was surreal. at first when i saw the second plane hit it did not even register. when the first tower fell i felt like i was punched in the stomach. when i heard about the plane that hit in washington i felt immobile. and of course the final blow was when some kook told me that they thought it was great because now america knows how israel feels, i was ready to kill them on the spot . here i am reeling from the scariest attack on the united states and someone is happy about it. some people just don't get the point. terror attacks should not happen ANYWHERE EVER. and just because a terror attack happend here it doesn't mean that anti-semites will suddenly identify with the israelis.
may the memory of those who perished during 9/11 be a blessing . peace on earth . shalom .

eighty is the new 120

for the past ten years ive been hearing that 40 is the new 30 . so does this mean that 30 is the new twenty? is 80 the new 120? these are all great pickup lines (take note guys) but is this really true? alot of single men over 35 act like they are a young 75.
i think that people in their thirties and forties today are experiencing a longer period of delayed adolescence than those who were in their thirties and forties twenty years ago. these days people get married later and have kids later extending the less fettered by responsibilities mindset previously reserved to those in their early twenties.
people these days tend to take better care of themselves than people twenty years ago, hence the more youthful appearance.
ive always had older relatives who were young at heart so im not sure what all the commotion is about. its all about one's mindset. always has been, always will be.
hopefully this new youthful attitude revolution will continue. its no fun being around 28 year olds who kvetch about their aches and pains more than grandma moses.

autumn in new york...

labor day marks the end of summer.... the beginning of a new school year... though i havent been in school for more years than i would care to count, labor day still marks the beginning of a new year and the end of summer. my birthday being august 30 as well as rosh hashannah being soon definitely contribute to this feeling. stifling weather ends and the cool air of fall arrives. though these past few days have been pleasantly fallish, i do realize that summer is not totally finished, its just that i so love fall that im in a hurry for it to begin.

kindle

i finally did it. i broke down and bought a kindle. i bought it for my birthday . i do admit that i felt a bit extravagant buying it. so far i do like it. i visited my parents last week and it was very convenient to have on the plane ride. it is different than reading from a book but i would say its good different, not bad different. all books are not available on the kindle yet, but most new ones are. i would imagine that eventually many more books will be available on the kindle once people adjust to the new technology.
i love conventional books, but i dont have enough room for all of the books i love on my bookshelves. keeping books on a kindle maximizes space and saves trees. i wont miss conventional books, because i will still be reading them on shabbos . shabbos lamps have been created but not shabbos kindles. yet....