Solitary Confinement

     I always hate when rabbis try to come up with reasons tragedies occur because it always seems so random to me and yet as I sit alone in my apartment it is making me ponder the purpose of this stay at home during  a pandemic world.
     There is something comforting about slowing down and spending a lot of time at home. It gives time to reflect and do some of the things one can't when one is running and running during one's normal life. Then again, I really miss spending time with people and not having to be 6 feet away from them.
        Having to sit or stand 6 feet away from another human makes one respect their personal space, but in NYC  even during a pandemic its hard to expect .I do think that its a good ideal.
       After all of the lamenting of the modern society and its technology it has turned into a blessing. A person can be alone in one's home during a pandemic and be able to communicate with others in a group as never before. Telephones have been around for ages, but the internet and smartphones gives one the ability to see the person one is chatting with . One can message friends across the world and chat with them real time on whattsapp or online. I remember the days when I wrote letters to friends in Israel on an aerogram and it would take weeks to get to them and weeks to get a response back.
I do not think that we are being punished for our technology because our technology is our lifeline right now. Some are even able to work from home which would never have happened without the internet.
           Maybe this pandemic is trying to teach us that each one of us is important, that its not only the collective that is important. Its important to do one's part and not rely on the group to take care of things. Its giving us time to think about what is important to us in life . Its giving everyone a little time out before we get to be with others. As nice as it is to have time to one's self, the world is about being able to be with others without evil viruses getting in the way. Literally....

Alone

     When one has an injury one realizes one isn't as alone as one thought but on the other hand one realizes one is more alone than one would like to be.
      Several years ago an acquaintance of mine had fallen ill. She was single. Fortunately her 82 year old mom was able to help her. After she recovered she told me that she realized how lucky she was that her mom had been around and was  physically able to help her.She also realized that she really needed to find others to be close enough with in the event she needed someones help in the future.After all her mom was 82. At the time I could relate . I was single then I am single now. Of course now I understand this even more.  It takes a village as they say because as independent as a person is and I am fiercely independent,one still NEEDS others. We don't just need people for what they can do for us we need others for what we can share with them. People can be so vulnerable. Its not good to be alone. I think I have had enough alone time to satisfy me for quite some time.
         

Alone?

     The other day a friend of mine told me that she thought that I was fortunate because I live alone and therefore have my freedom to do whatever I want on the weekends. I guess she also meant because I am single. The funny part is that though I do not have any roommates I don't really feel like I am alone. I am around people constantly at work , on the train, walking down the street, in the hallways of my apartment building, spending time with friends. There isn't a lot of time to be alone.  Though I do not have roommates I don't think of myself as "living alone". The only time I think about it is when I have good guests and miss them when they leave.
      Then again its not so much the living alone part that gives me such freedom its the single without kids that does. I do not have a husband  or child who would make my down time less my own. Freedom is nice, but  I can see how responsibilities and commitments can make life rich as well. Alone isn't always best, but I am enjoying my alone time while I have it.
      

Going it Alone

     I have been single my whole life so I guess I'm used to it , but there are some things that are just better done with another person. I always think about this when I buy a pint or quart of ice cream. If only there was someone else to share it with.  Jewish holidays are when I always think how nice it would be to be married. Going to comedy clubs, plays or movies are times when its preferable to go with someone else.
     I have lived alone longer than I would like to admit and I enjoy it. But sometimes when I have company  I kind of miss not having anyone else around when they leave.
       I suppose a roommate or friend can substitute when was needs company, but roommates come and go. Friends are looking for their own relationships. It would be nice to have the companionship and stability of a spouse even though that too is not always everlasting.
       Though it can be done, I don't think life is meant to be lived alone.

 

Degrees of Alone

     Being single doesn't necessarily mean being alone. One can be very alone with the wrong person. One can fill one's life with people so much so that one can forget one is single.
     When I was in my twenties I was  alone as I was single . Now I am single but I don't feel as alone as I used to. The difference is that though I am single I have cultivated friends who care about me and I care about them. True friends . Friends do not substitute for a spouse, but they are important. They are important to have even once one is married.
        Being single has forced me to work on myself  in a way that I may not have had to had I married when I was younger. I am not saying that I would not have preferred to get married when I was younger it is just that I recognize that being single has afforded me personal growth time that I appreciate. Time is time no matter what one's marital status is. It is important to make it meaningful. Or at least try to. 

Alone Time

One of my favorite things about being single is my alone time. I actually am a social person, but I also comfortable being by myself. When my dose of alone time is satisfied I am then able to be with others.

i blog therefore i am

some like tweeting, i like blogging. i like putting my 2 cents out there and seeing how others react to it. not necessarily others i actually have met in "real life". i like the supportive community blogs offer. blogs help me feel like i am not alone in the world. sometimes my blogger friends know me better than people who meet me in real life.many of my blogger friends know me without the distraction of externals. thanks for reading . thanks for commenting.
its important to have friends who know me in real life, but its also good share with others outside ones circles.
blogging reaches out to the world. it makes me feel like there is life outside those who i know in person and that they too share  challenges and joys of life .
sometimes the world seems so disjointed. blogging helps the world feel more connected.

going it alone

would you ever go to the movie's by yourself? would you ever go to a museum by yourself? would you ever dine solo at a sit down restaurant? i have done all of these things alone. in new york city there are so many people everywhere that even when you are by yourself you aren't really alone. though i am far from being a loner, i actually like the pleasure of my own company .

when my father passed away i realized that in addition to ceasing to be a father he ceased being a husband. having never been married i don't usually think about what would be like to not be married anymore due to a spouse passing on.

as much as i enjoy being alone and being able to do what i want when i want , i see the value of sharing one's life with a spouse no matter how long or short that joined life might last. life is meant to be shared with others, even when its "just" with good friends. its is important to be able to be comfortable alone. sometimes one gets to choose to be alone, other times its imposed upon a person due to the cycle of life.