the "a" word

i have always wanted to be a mother. even as a kid i always thought that if i couldn't have a child biologically that i would most certainly adopt a child. 

though i know many frum couples who have opted for adoption when they were unable to have a biological child i have yet to see any mention of the possibility of adoption on any frum dating website. i  know that there is  a "willing to adopt " box on e harmony .com,  so i know that there is at least one dating website that includes this "radical" option. obviously it is optimal to have a biological child , but what is wrong with putting it out there that one is willing to adopt ? nothing on frumster prevents anyone from writing this on their profile but i haven't noticed anyone who has listed this option. including myself. i suppose i should . but it is a shame that willing to adopt is not an automatic question in the multiple choice section of one's frumster profile. 

on answering back

there is nothing like a new year to push one to rejoining frumster as a paying member , that and a reduced monthly membership rate. so i renew my membership, after all i had 4 messages waiting for me. two out of four were ok so i responded to the two good ones. to  the two ng (no good) ones i sent the prepared rejection letter. one of them was the one in diapers from a few weeks ago so i after i sent him the rejection letter i immediately blocked him. the other ng guy sent me a note back . already that was a bad sign. only losers try to continue dialogue after the rejection letter. against my better judgement and  general mental health, i read the note instead of just deleting it. sour grapes said that after reading my rejection letter he realized he sent the contact letter to me by accident because now he realizes we have nothing in common and he must have meant to contact someone else when he sent me a message. what a prince. i promptly blocked him. too bad i sent him the prepared rejection notice . i should have left well enough alone . now i remember why i had cancelled my frumster membership a few months ago.

religion and personality

i think that its so interesting that when people try to set people up that the focus is on  specific ritual observances  without mentioning the mindset behind them. someone can dress the part but not believe in what they are doing.  on paper someone else may not seem to be so ritually observant, but have incredible kavanah about what he does do. this is why all of the labels in the world on frumster wont ever begin to tell me the religious level of a potential date. frumster does give everyone a chance to state what  their level of judaism is, but the personality section would tell me more about their religious level.
if someone is so rigid that they always have to have the last word then most likely they are just as rigid in their religious beliefs no matter how ritualistically staunch or lax. if someone is a live and let live type  then they probably feel this way toward religion. if someone is the keeping up with the jones' type this will manifest in their religious beliefs. they will want a fancy kiddush because everyone else does, will follow the hippest chumrahs.
of course its important to know the nuts and bolts of a potential's religious level, but it only means something if one considers their personality = mindset.