Reflection

     Unfortunately a lot of people that I know have passed away in their prime this year. It really gives those of us left behind time to reflect and make whatever life we all have meaningful as there are those who aren't fortunate enough to be able  to make the most of their lives anymore. Its easy to pontificate, much more difficult to actualize. Nonetheless I will try to appreciate , enjoy and make meaningful the life that I have.
      Have an awesome Shmini Atzeret and Simchat Torah!

     

Shiva

     At the risk of sounding extremely depressed I present this post. A childhood friend's father passed away this week. It turns out that his yartzeit will be the day before my dad's. He was the same age my dad was when he died.
      Though a funeral may be held during a chag , shiva is observed after the holiday. This is something many people do not know. This is something that I know and will always remember, because my dad passed away during pesach three years ago. Its kind of like having extra shiva because though its not officially shiva, one is already in mourning. 

single on yom tov

     I stayed in Brooklyn for Simchas Torah. It was quiet. I went to meals with mostly women in attendance. I always wonder where the mostly male singles yom tov meals are. I know that they exist. It is too bad that they could not have been combined.
     Being frum and single on the holidays means you feel like staying home and relaxing but you also feel like you should be at a holiday single's function that might help you meet your bashert. I usually let the I'm tired and don't feel like packing side of me win. Over the years I have found that I am not alone. There is always a  large group who stay local. This year was no different.
     Perhaps next year I will be part of a couple, but this year was not so bad as a single. I spent time with friends , rested and ate too much .

Simchat Torah

      The last of the Tishrei  holidays has arrived. I am sad. It has been so nice to have had the time to celebrate. It has been nice to have the time off of work.  I don' t know what I will do when I finally have a full week of work. It will be difficult.
     Have a great holiday!

Sukkos is in the air

     Sukkos is in the air. I went grocery shopping for a few things and the store was a zoo. I didn't expect any less. Like everybody else I wanted to get my shopping out of the way tonight.

      Even though I have lived in Brooklyn for years I still find it delightful to watch all of the sukkah shops and esrog and lulav stands.

Yom Kippur

     Wishing everyone an easy fast and a clean slate to begin the new year. Wishing everyone a productive year. I am always so tired after Rosh Hashana and Yom Kippur that its a good thing there is Sukkot and Simchas Torah soon after to have more days off of work and they are a lot less serious than the first two holidays. Happy Tishrei.

Happy Labor Day!

     Like many Americans I am not working today in honor of the secular holiday of Labor Day. Labor Day has been one of my favorite holidays because it is a secular holiday and also because it is not a work or school day.
     I have always thought it curious that in honor of Labor Day we don't go to to work or work a twice as long day since it is Labor Day. In this economy those who aren't working wish they were one of the laborers who are being honored.

     Anyway happy Labor Day to all  who will be back to laboring tomorrow.

holidays and families

holidays always make me think about family and that i actually have a mother and siblings who love me. when you live far away from your family you forget that there actually people out there that really care about you. i have friends and yes they are like family, but they are the family a person earns. parents and siblings are the family you have because you were born into them and they care for you anyway. they are the people who have known you most of your life and their lives. its hard to be away from them because there really isn't anyone who can replace them.  its important to love and appreciate them and remember that  they are rooting for you even when they aren't physically near.

post yom kippur thoughts

i  don't enjoy fasting, but other than that i don't really mind yom kippur. i always use an english-hebrew machzor and read the translation every so often. the prayers are really quite beautiful. i actually enjoy it more than rosh hashanah.
musaf today ended ant 3:10 and we had an almost two hour break. it was great. we even ended neilah five minutes early.
this was the first time in years that i was able to stand for all of neilah. i think this was due to the lovely fall weather .
this yom kippur as usual there has to be  a spoiler to an  idyllic holiday. the shul i attended today has benches. during minchah, a woman wanted to sit in the bench i was sitting at. i moved over so she could squeeze by, but instead she decided to sit in the two inch space between me and the end of the bench and half on me. i wanted to scream at her for being so obnoxious,  but  it was yom kippur, so i did not.  i moved instead.  i didnt want to let her ruin my yom kippur.
anyway, im glad to have made in through yom kippur and am looking forward to a peaceful sukkot and simchat torah.

shabbat shalom

usually when goyim at work wish me a merry x-mas even when they know darn well im not celebrating their holiday it gets a bit awkward and i say thanks, ill have a nice day but its not my holiday. some goyim just can't comprehend how someone would not be celebrating x-mas. this year its  a bit unusual because although december 25  is not x-mas or chanukah  for a jew it is shabbos which actually is a holiday.hmmm.
to all of the yidden reading this blog have a shabbat shalom!!

latkes vs sufganiot

its taken me awhile to accept the fact that sufganiot are a part of chanukah. for me latkes have always represented chanukah while sufganiot were the weak alternative , especially since i dont particularly like jelly donuts in the first place. okay thats it. i dont especially like the taste of a jelly donut so i dont understand why it has to share an equal  headline as  THE chanukah food . i realise the reason any food is a chanukah food is because its fried, but really now. don't you think a golden brown latke dipped in applesauce or sour cream is much better than a sloppy sweet jelly donut?

the state of being married

it is no secret that tishrei can be a bit depressing for me as a single woman. my birthday  passes and then poof, the jewish new year as well as my personal  new year begin. good grief. and of course im usually off to visit easily married off relatives who are constantly giving birth. im very happy for them and i don't wish my lot upon them, but sometimes its a bit difficult to keep the perma smile plastered on my face.
some people think its a shame that there is such a pressure to be married as a frum jew and that people look at you as less than if you are single . some think that it should be okay to be single and frum and people should not feel that they should aspire to be married.  i think that singles are often looked down upon due to our status. especially women. what makes things worse is when one is over the magic age (use your imagination)  and then less people want to marry you. what makes it even worse is that not only are you stigmatized for being single one becomes stigmatized for not being divorced as well.
i personally would like  to get married. just because its not as easy for some to get married than it is for others doesn't mean that one should settle and say one will just remain single. i wish that judaism didn't treat singles like the orphan , the ger or the widow, but they do. the only way this will change is when those who have endured my lot marry but don't  have amnesia afterward. so often people forget to treat singles with respect even after having been single so long themselves. i guess they are just trying to fit in. its too bad though. the only people who can really understand what its like to be single and frum are those who have spent time being a frum single. if those of us who get to be married after a long journey of singleness remember what it was like to be single when you deal with those who are single the world would be a better place. frum judaism will always think its best to be married , but at least one wouldn't be shunned for being in a state one never wanted to be in for so many years in the first place.

im back....

im back from the midwest. i had an enjoyable time there. glad to be in my own space though. of course i will be missing my vacation very much when i get back to work tomorrow.
i went to the cemetery for the first time after my dad's funeral. it was sad, but i must say that it still hasn't sunk in totally. no pun intended. i feel that it was very good to have gone even so.i mainly went because it was before rosh hashana.
it was a lot less painful talking with my mom about my dad's death and the events surrounding it than it had been five months ago.
the whole experience has really made me want to evaluate my life choices and see if i want to make any changes. thinking about death makes one think about how one wants to improve ones life. funny how that can be.....

shana tovah!

shana tova to everyone. its been a great year of blogging. i want to thank everyone for reading my blog this year. i look forward to writing in  5771! wishing everyone a year of health and happiness!

notes on the hannukah song

december 3,1994 adam sandler debuted the original hannukah song on saturday night live. i watched in it in awe and part disbelief. it was hysterically funny and unmistakably jewish. while i was watching it i had no idea it would become such a cult classic and the only hannukah song played on the radio amidst of all of the x-mas carols every december.
the hannukah song is really a very silly song. it lists all the jewish celebrities who may or may not actually celebrate hannukah so all of us lonley jewish kids dont feel like we are all alone lighting a menorah each december. it also is sung by adam sandler in one of his childishly annoying voices. no matter. somehow this silly song caught on.
its too bad a song more like al hanisim or even the dreidel song do not reach the public air waves each december. but they do not. so im glad that the hannukah song does. at least it reminds the unaffiliated that there is a hannukah and that some hip celebrity wrote a song that they might be able to relate to.
i dont think that adam sandler had any idea he was creating a cult phenomenon when he was cooking up his hannukah song. he probably was just trying to write some kooky hannukah song for a saturday night live skit. dumb luck turned it into a holiday classic. and yes i do think that this is ultimately good for the jews.

the hannukah stamp.

well here we are again. its december. its happy hannukah time. though i love e-cards, i always send out traditional snail mail cards. i have an aresenal of hannukah stamps. apparently i still have some of the first hannukah stamp which was 32 cents!!! i had bought a bunch of them because i was so excited they actually had a jewish stamp and i was afraid they wouldn't make them again the next year. well they did and they even made a dreidel one which i have the 37 cent, 41 cent and 42 cent version of. since ive been buying the forever stamp for the past few years i never remember how much a stamp is , so i looked it up online. turns out there is an updated menorah stamp that was made in 2008 that's actually 44 cents (which turns is still how much a stamp is in 2009) i have some now. i only bought 20 of them this time.

more tisha b'av thoughts

some appropriate tisha b'av movies:

1. au revoir les enfants
2. the eichman trial
3. the children of chabon
4. shanghai ghetto

all of these are excellent. if you have any to add to the list, let me know.

love your neighbor.... or at least be civil!

tisha b'av is around the corner and it seems no one has learned anything since last year. there is still sinas chinam especially amongst g-ds chosen people. we are still too busy labelling levels of frumkeit to actually try and get along. we just keep missing the point. h-shem wants us to get along with one another not nit -pick chumrahs. until some semblance of civility evolves all we will be saying next av will be " same time next year" but hopefully not.

HAPPY SHAVUOT!!!

its hard to believe that it has been almost seven weeks since pesach! i havent yet lost the pesach 5 and now the cheesecake holiday is upon us. i have started my exercise regimen again yesterday so hopefully all the hard work will inspire me to keep the excess calories from reaching my mouth (via yom tov meals). well... at least i would like to think it will help.
have a happy, healthy and meaningful holiday.

mother's day

i have something rather offbeat to say about mother's day after reading this post by webgirl. in addition to honoring our mothers on mother's day i think that its important for people to thank hashem for being a mother. that is if one is a mother. i know that if/when i get to be a mother i will be very thankful and grateful. i bet hallmark hasnt created a card for this.

to all those who are mothers today have a happy mothers day.