secret admirer

often the only guy willing to approach a woman at a singles event is the nerdy guy one doesn't want to go out with. even though said woman does not have any interest in said nerd, she still must give him credit for actually having the oomph to actually approach her.
i was talking to one of the "nerdier" types recently . i hate to label him as such. he really is a nice person even though i do not know anyone i would set him up with.  anyway, he was telling me how he is still interested in my friend, but she doesn't give him the time of day. the sad part is he was so sincere that i really felt bad. it wouldn't help for me to intervene on his behalf because i know that she would not appreciate him or even appreciate hearing about his sincere interest in her.  she would just think "oy why do only the nerds show interest in me?" so i  won't bother irritating her. too bad though. its always nice to have an admirer even if its not mutual .

too cool for school

i never was one who cared whether or not i was part of the "in" crowd. as an adult i care even less. this is the great  part of being an adult. one doesn't even feel like one has to be part of the "in" crowd. the problem is that so many i have met lately are still in that zone that cares about being "cool and popular" all of those in this zone are single. i would also like to say that this is probably why they are single. once one reaches the other side of 35 and one is single how "cool " are you anyway? if you are a guy you may be  a confirmed player ( no this is not a good thing ) and if you are a woman might be considered an "old maid" (never cool).  to distract others from the obvious they play the snob card. but again, who cares? which is my point. not caring what the clique-ish think is the best part of being an adult. snobbery works both ways. it is only powerful if you let it be. if you don't let it bother you it fails to have any effect. of course this is something i knew as a teenager. how "cool " is that?

revenge of the nerds

whenever a nerdy or loser guy that roams ocean parkway gets engaged i am truly happy - perhaps more for myself than for him. it means that another nerd is off the market and won't be bothering me anymore. relief at last . oh and the side effect is that he is happily engaged to someone. its win-win.

hot or not

often when i attend a singles event there are many unattractive  in attendance. perhaps if they  had the good fortune to look like prince william or kate middleton  their lives would be different. through no fault of their own they are putrid looking. some of the unattractive have enough confidence to rise above their deficient appearance and are not nerds. others are not so fortunate. i always have thought that this is so sad. one has no control over being born ugly , being born beautiful or even of being born average. had the same individual been born handsome this individual would have had a much easier time finding a spouse. then again i know many physically attractive people have  trouble finding spouses due to their hideous personalities. this  is far worse than being physically unattractive.

sometimes you just have to be a b@*%

when i first started attending singles events i was always polite to  nerdy men who would chat me up. i felt it would be rude to be mean to them. now i know better. if i am too polite to some nerdy men they will never leave my side because im the only woman who will talk to them. it really stinks that this is how it is, but this is how it is. there are some men who use this tactic as well. they  may say hi to me at a singles event, but then they will quickly walk away. they don't even want to give me a moment to speak to them  too much because they think i will think that they like me. i don't think im such a loser that they have to resort to this, but i do understand. they're just not interested . sometimes you just have to  do what you have to do. sometimes you just have to be a b@*%

from schlub to stud

last summer i attended an open mike in park slope . max gross read from his new book from schlub to stud at this open mike. at the time i remember thinking about how much max gross looked like seth rogen. apparently max gross thinks so too. i just finished reading from schlub to stud today, and all over the book max gross recounts how he looks so much like seth rogen, in fact so much like seth rogen that it partially inspired him to write this book.

after reading this book, after purchasing it from housing works used book store on crosby street in Manhattan for $4.50 , i came to quite a stunning realization. all the nebs ive been complaining about for years arent merely nebs or nerds, they are all out SCHLUBS, except possibly not as lovably schlubbly as max gross portrays himself.

i really enjoyed max analyzing schlub job choices to general schlub etiquette. having two non-schlub parents does not guarantee coolness. and though one might not actually be a schlub, you could just have a few lone schlubby midos.

from shlub to stud is the cable reality show version of woody allen, and i actually dig it more. woody allen is a self hating jew. max gross is just some poor schlub.

lions and tigers and nerd rage oh my!!

when i first started attending singles events i was nice and would talk to everyone who approached me. over time i realized that some guys can't take social cues and once they achieve the feat of engaging me in conversation they will never leave my side. this of course becomes a problem . im just being polite by speaking to them, but its a total waste of my time for them to monopolize my time when i know that i will never ever have any interest in them. not to mention the fact that the longer i engage in conversation with these men, the more i am raising their hopes that i might be interested in them. sadly i find that the only thing one can do is say hello to these individuals and keep on moving. i know its rude, but i cant help it . my biological clock is ticking. not theirs.
i actually will concede that i actually dont mind chatting with the mild mannered nerds who im not interested in because they are very nice and i dont want to hurt their feelings . the only thing is , often just talking to someone for a few minutes can give some men false hope, which will also hurt their feelings.
however , there is another species of undesirables who i find completely intolerable and that is nerds gone wild. nerds gone wild are a hard bunch to identify. they seem mild mannered, but they have been burned so many times that they are now very angry and now they want to get even with every woman who turns them down. again, i cant help them. if im nice to them, they get the wrong idea and they will never leave my side so i can meet a more appropriate suitor. if i walk away from him, he will cause a scene. either way no one wins. however, nerds gone wild could potentially be very dangerous. they could get so angry they could become physically violent. chas veshalom.
i dont pretend to know the answers , but i do know that nerds gone wild are a potential danger to society.
im not happy im single. and yes im sure there are men who might find me nerdy. but thats their problem. i dont want anyone who doesnt want me. mutual attraction is important. if i see that a guy isnt really interested when im trying to talk to him i stop trying to chat with him and excuse myself. im a good person and i know that i dont have to force anyone to like me. it has to be organic. if someone doesnt like me, then so what. i dont like everyone either. we are all entitled to our own preferences. id prefer someone who wants me as much as i want him. everyone deserves this. even nerds.