The Constant of Change

   Work can be very stressful. I work with lots of characters . On the weekends I like to spend time with friends and acquaintances minus the  drama. I used to be a Shabbos guest to a family whose resting tone was yelling. After awhile I just could not take it so I stopped visiting them. Other times I have met really rude people at Shabbos meals that I am sure not to attend if I know that  those extremely rude people will be attending. To be fair I have sporadically hosted Shabbos meals which makes things easier since I am in charge of the guest list. Often I am too tired to host a meal even though I enjoy doing so.

     Life is so transient. Friends and neighbors change . People move away. Life situations change. You can think one is set with friends and family and that can all change. I like things to stay the same but the joke is on me. The only thing that is constant is change.
      

Neighbors

      I am the most awesome neighbor. I just found out that my next door neighbors have been divorced since September and I am just finding out now. I am so oblivious that I did not realize that I had not run in to the husband in almost a year. He really was not all that memorable to begin with , but now that I think about it I realize that i have not seen him in quite some time.
     I would say that living in the apartment right next to mine is the greatest no holds barred but there is something negative about that apartment . Both couples who have lived next to me have divorced. I guess if you are single and you live next door to me its safe. Just don't have a spouse move in with you while living in the apartment next to me.

goodbyes

apartment buildings have small apartments  that one rents but does not own thus they are conducive to people living there for short time periods and then moving out. one of my neighbors who has lived in my apartment building six months less than the amount of time i have lived here is moving out. eight years is a long time to be neighbors. it will be sad to see them go. they do have four kids now so it is about time that they should be moving to a house. no matter . they will be missed. not only are they moving to a house, they are moving to baltimore. now i will have people to visit in baltimore. its bittersweet. i am happy for them, but i am sad as well. i am sad for me. when people move things change. if they had just moved to a house in brooklyn it would have been a big change, but i would have still seen them periodically. moving to a different state is different. im not friendly enough with them to call them and chat from time to time so unless i happen to have reason to go to baltimore i probably won't be in touch. this is life. this is the way it is supposed to be. its so important to appreciate friends and neighbors  when they live  nearby.  this is just a goodbye for now  not a goodbye forever even though it kind of seems more like a goodbye forever.

elevator etiquette

i havent had a roommate for years, but i think that g-d is getting back at me for having all these good roommate-free years by making me live in an apartment building with an elevator.

im glad that there is an elevator in my apartment building because i live on a high floor, but i still dont entirely enjoy the elevator experience.

sometimes people hold the elevator for me when im getting my mail from the mailbox. on the surface, what could be bad about this? WELL.... let me tell you what. what if i dont feel like being in the elevator with an overly talkative neighbor? id rather wait 10 minutes for the next elevator than deal with that.

some neighbors make a habit of a hearty good morning if you see them in the elevator. i don't mind the good morning, but i can barely speak at that hour and some people like to keep saying good morning because they are offended you didn't say good morning back. i say don't bother saying good morning to me in the first place if you don't get the response you need . just be a self-centered new yorker and don't speak to me in the elevator. i would like that better. i talk all day long at work. im really not lonely for conversation at 6:00 a.m.

i live in an old building with those freakishly heavy doors. though holding the door for others would be good strength training, it can be annoying when one is holding lots of packages .

the most unfulfilling aspect of holding the elevator for others is when a nosy neighbor is on board. i try to let the door close quickly if i think that type is going to join me in the elevator. i accidentally held the door for someone who i didn't realize was the nosy type. she ruined it for herself. next time she asks me to hold the door for her when she gets her mail im going to accidentally on purpose not hold the door for her.

i should really use the stairs more. id get alot more exercise. id also avoid all of the drama. the problem is sometimes im so exhausted that i settle for dealing with elevator etiquette .

you just never know....

i love when the tv news interviews neighbors of a criminal and the neighbors say, " gee he was such a good neighbor, so quiet, would not have suspected a thing." one always assumes this is hogwash. or is it? unfortunately i have learned that this is not true. sometimes one finds out a friend or acquaintance has committed a serious crime and one would never have guessed that they would have. i think that part of the reason is that one would never suspect that anyone one knows could be capable a serious crime. guess again. it is possible. unfortunately.
a man who had done construction work for my grandparents years ago later committed a serious crime. one would have never thought it possible. he was so nice to my grandparents . unfortunately the man snapped and and the rest is history.
its such a crazy world. one just never knows....