don't sweat it

besides being  the kickoff to summer, this weekend has been the kickoff to summer heat. everyone who knows me knows that i can't take the heat. even as a child i couldn't . the school that i went to as a kid was backward and they finally got air conditioning installed when i was in sixth grade. until then they had the industrial strength fans which were so-so. as kids we would all sit with mini portable fans to cool ourselves off. when i was in third grade i fainted in class from the heat. i remember standing for shemonah esreh and then suddenly i found myself on the floor. it was so embarrassing.
except for my backward school, everyone where i grew up in the midwest had central air conditioning. i went to a small shul for awhile that had an air conditioning unit. it worked well, but it was so odd and foreign to me at the time.
when i was in college the dorm had a/c window units which i used as necessary.
i admit that i roughed it for awhile when i lived in a basement apartment, but even there it was a little cooler than if i had lived on a regular floor.
now that im an adult and i live in apartment on the top floor of my apartment building i would find the summers unbearable if i didn't have my air-conditioning  unit. i try not to be a shabbos guest to those who do not use a/c. the worst part is that some of those who do not use air conditioning also don't use fans.
the heat effects my skin . my psoriasis flares up and itches more in the summer. paying the extra fifty dollars a month is less money than buying medication to treat psoriasis and far more enjoyable.

summer and psoriasis

the only two things i like about summer are wearing sandals and the fact that there are alot of free events in new york in the summer, otherwise im really not a fan. every summer my psoriasis gets worse. this year it wasn't as bad as it could have been because it wasn't as scorching as usual.
compared to many who have psoriasis my case is not so bad. its all relative. even if its not so bad its not so good either. this year i had the honor of having psoriasis on my right eyelid. let me tell you its not too cute. i looked like someone had socked me in the eye. whenever psoriasis manifests in the eye area it is on my right eye. when i get migraines the pain is greatest behind my right eye. i wonder what that means?
ive been tempted just to stay holed up at home weekends so i wouldn't have to deal with the pitying looks of friends as they ask me what is wrong with my eyelid. if i would stay home my eyelid skin would be all id obsess about. this is why i go out anyway. for sanity's sake.
finally the medication kicked in and my lid is starting to look and feel more normal. bh. when its bad my upper lid looks very dry and wrinkly which scares me.when it first happened i was afraid it would stay that wrinkly. it did not . it went away.
even if my hands get a little dry in the winter its nothing compared to the itchy mayhem i experience in the summer before the drugs kick in and give me relief.
i cant wait until fall which is my favorite season. fall weather is cooler. my skin itches less and its not as hot so i can breathe.

the calm before the heat wave

i know that im alone in this sentiment, but im really glad that there havent been that many hot days yet. its already mid-june. this also means that i havent had to use my air conditioning all that much either.
my favorite time of the year is spring and fall when you dont have to wear a jacket during the day though you may need a sweater early morning or after dark.
im not a fan of heat and humidity. its so hard to breathe when its so humid outside . i originate from a city that is even more extreme in the summer that new york. in new york it just gets as hot and humid as my former hometown two or three weeks of the year. brooklyn in the summer is like the mountains compared to my former hometown. unfortunately heat and humidity isnt somthing one gets used to .(at least not me!)
im going to savor the cool weather while its here and before my electric bill reaches triple digits.