The Upside

      The upside of the situation  in Israel is that I am really mourning the fact that we are in galus and the destruction of the bais hamikdash like we Jews should be doing during the three weeks. I think that a lot of Jewish people who don't even know the significance of the three weeks or maybe never even have heard of shivah assar b'tammuz or tisha b'av are feeling sad for what is going on in Israel right now .
       It also seems like the three weeks have been even longer this year. It really stinks. I pray for a quick end to this war that will stop hamas once and for all . I pray for peace for Jews all over the world and an end to all anti-Semitism. I pray for peace for all people  all over the world.
        On facebook there is an "event" that is posted that in case you don't know about I will mention. The event is that there will be a world wide simultaneous davening of the shema at 12 pm EST, This "event "is to be held through August 5 which is Tisha B'av. It can be a difficult time of the day to do this if one is at work, but we should all try to do the best we can.  I participated today. This shema is being said specifically for the safety of the IDF during this war as well as for  peace .
        

mourning on tisha b'av

     I think that the reason that it can be difficult mourning on Tisha B'Av is that it happened so long ago that we don't even realize what we have lost. There is not one person alive today has  lived in Israel at the time of the bais hamikdash.  We all know what those days might have been like from studying about it but we never actually experienced it. Those of us who have been in Israel during holidays have a pinky of an inkling of what it may have been like, but really we do not really know the glory of what it was like. Its kind of like what people 300 years from now will be thinking about 9/11. They will remember the tragedy but they won't feel the pain. This is why remembering the holocaust has been included on Tisha B'Av. Even though many of us were not born then we know or know of many who unfortunately did go through it. It makes it easier to relate to . In any event, had the bais hamikdash not been destroyed and had we not been in galus the holocaust would not have happened.  Perhaps 9/11 would not have happened either. Who knows?  This is why we mourn.
      Another way of relating to the mourning during Tisha B'Av is to relate it to the feeling one  has when a loved one passed away. One may not have a year of avelus when one's grandparent , aunt or uncle passes away, but one is sad and mourns their loss. Though the loss of the bais hamikdash should feel like the loss of a parent, if we felt it like the loss of any beloved friend or relative we would be in the spirit of the day. I admit that I don't always have the proper feeling during Tisha B'Av , but I did have that ominous feeling when I entered shul  for the reading of eichah. I felt that pang one feels when one walks into a shiva house . Hopefully we won't be observing Tisha B'Av much longer and the geulah will arrive.
   

the three weeks

     I dread the three weeks every year . This year lots of crazy things have been happening at work. I am so looking forward to the end of Tisha B'Av (which this year's fast is pushed to the tenth of Av) I just can't take it.
      Maybe the record heat wave will finish after Tisha B'Av. Its been oppressively hot since before the three weeks, but still . It would be nice  to have cooler weather.
     Wishing all of you an easy fast and wishing everyone the strength to get through these next few days.
      Have a good shabbos.

tisha b'av

today is one of the most difficult days on the jewish calender. we mourn the destruction of the beis hamikdash as well as every tragedy in jewish history. every other day of the year we are like the caged bird singing. today we mourn our galus and the loss of our former glory . may mashiach come bimhayrah beyamaynu. have an easy fast.

tisha b'av past

the most dramatic tisha b'av i have experienced was when i was 13 years old and in sleep away camp. on the evening of tisha b'av  a shiur was held outside overlooking a lake. on the other side of the lake the camp created a fire that was burning as the shiur was going on. it was surreal. looking back i think its amazing that they were able to create this fire situation without burning the entire camp down.

more mourning

every year i look forward to the end of tisha b'av and the three weeks. it is always such a serious time. this year im looking forward to the end of the three weeks, but i keep thinking , "and then what?"
im still in avelus. in fact this year i was very glad it was sephirah when i was first sitting shivah. during the three weeks everyone is mourning. misery does love company.
then again after tisha b'av ends i will still have another eight and a  half months of avelus.....

laundry woes

post tisha b'av i am always confronted with the laundry issue. how soon can i do it and how big of a zoo is it going to be in the laundry room in my 90% frum apartment building? usually the day after tisha b'av is a day i have work so its not as big of an issue. by the time i can do my laundry everyone else has done theirs. this year was different because i didnt have work today which is the day after tisha b'av. ive always thought that the halacha was that you couldnt do laundry after chatzot the day after tisha b'av because the the bais hamikdash was still burning on the tenth of av.normally this isnt an issue for me because i usually work the day after tisha b'av so i wouldnt be doing laundry until after chatzot anway. this year was different.
after much internal debate, i decided to do my laundry this morning early early because later today it will be a big zoo in the laundry room. though a little embarrassed to be doing laundry early early because it was before chatzot, i figured id do it anyway, who would see me? who is up so early? apparently everyone! there was already laundry left in the dryer from last night! there were already two loads in the spin cycle when i arrived in the laundry room! it was only 6:30 in the morning!
i did manage to get my two loads in the dryer before two other neighbors arrived with their laundry. so much for waiting until after chatzot! well, maybe they were having the same internal strife that i was, but just had to do it anyway. or maybe i got the halacha wrong. either way, i had clean laundry before eight am this morning. life is good.

sinas chinam

i watched part of the ou's tisha b'av production at one of the local brooklyn shuls. as usual the topic of sinas chinam surfaced. but of course. it is tisha b'av.
sinas chinam - hatred for no reason or baseless hatred.. well i guess this explains alot. the charedim in israel throw stones at the chilonim on shabbos for a reason (or so they say) so that folly isnt considered sinas chinam in their eyes.
when someone doesnt act respectfully toward someone less frum or more frum this isnt sinas china because they've got a reason for their dislike.
the goyim hate us because we have (anything that they dont) so i guess this isnt baseless either.
perhaps the reason the bais hamikdash was destroyed was due to sinas chinam, but it will only be rebuilt through the mitzvah of v'ahavta l'rayecha camocha. - through loving your neighbor as one loves themselves. the geulah will come through having respect for others humanity even though they may not be our spiritual clones.
all varieties of jews, reform , orthodox, conservative, conservadox, chassidish, charedi, reconstructionist , modern orthodox, carlebachian, yeshivish, yeshivish modern , need to respect the others level of judaism. by doing this it doesnt mean you are invalidating what you believe in, it just means live and let live. the rest of the world doesnt differentiate. to them we are one big group of jew. to them the syrian jews of last weeks notoriety and madoff are one and the same- jewish with a capital J. unfortunately we jews havent all figured that one out yet.
to me this is the only way to be mekarev any one into frumkeit. be nice to them. dont denigrate their beliefs even if its not as frum as yours. this does not dilute what you believe in.
if someone is downright disrespectful this is a different story. im speaking of people who just have a pareve opinion of frumkeit.
its tisha b'av (still) let's try to end the madness already!

love your neighbor.... or at least be civil!

tisha b'av is around the corner and it seems no one has learned anything since last year. there is still sinas chinam especially amongst g-ds chosen people. we are still too busy labelling levels of frumkeit to actually try and get along. we just keep missing the point. h-shem wants us to get along with one another not nit -pick chumrahs. until some semblance of civility evolves all we will be saying next av will be " same time next year" but hopefully not.