Appreciating the Moment

     Life is so short. Don't save special clothing for special occasions. Wear them as soon as you can  Enjoy them as soon as you can. Its not to be pessimistic, Why not elevate the moment?

Every day is special so why not wear special clothing often instead of once in awhile. Appreciate  the moment. 

It Could Be Way Worse

    Everybody's parents have quirks. Recently I have been reading a memoir by an aquaintance of mine. Her mother was really loony tunes. Its amazing she survived it without ending up completely insane. I would never have guessed that she had such a traumatic childhood. As always one can't tell everything about a person just by looking at them. One really never knows what adversity some people go through whether one is rich or poor. Crazy doesn't discriminate. After reading her book I have a new appreciation for my own parents. I must thank this aquaintance when I do see her. 

What it all means

     I used to have a friend who wished she did  not want to get married because then  she would not feel bad that she was single.  I also know someone who worries that  her sick friend's daughter is too dependent on her mother. She feels she should not spend so much time with her mother because she feels it will be harder for her when her mother passes.
      I think that the purpose of life is to strive for something even though one may not get it and even if it hurts when one does not achieve one's goals. I may not find a spouse, but then again maybe I will and I would definitely regret not trying to find one more than the pain I am going through trying to find my bashert.
      Losing a loved one is always painful whether one spends a lot of time with them or little time with them. One is not going to escape missing them or wishing they were there to to help one navigate life when they are gone. I think that my friend means well when she fears her friend's daughter will be devastated when her mother passes on , but the daughter will feel distraught and alone when her mother dies no matter what . She would also feel even worse if she does not spend every moment with her now when she is alive.
      Knowing life is finite does not mean that one should avoid  people and things in life because they are finite, it means one should love and appreciate everyone one holds dear because we have a limited time to spend with them. Every moment is precious.

      

Sad But True

     A person often does not appreciate someone or something until they are gone. Unfortunately even if someone were to tell one this before hand it would not help. One often does not understand some one's contribution to one's life until you cannot speak to them anymore. I would say appreciate everyone when they are in your life because life is finite but unfortunately one does not really understand this concept until one is forced to experience loss. Maybe that's a good thing though. If one lived with a dark  foreboding feeling all of the time it would be too depressing to get out of bed. 

love the life you have

      Sometimes a person can get distracted by all of the things one is striving for  that one does not notice all the good one actually has. Seeing how bad life is for others can make me appreciate my own life. Life may not have turned out how I would have liked it too, but B"H I  have a pretty good life. Its too bad that it takes seeing others misfortunes to appreciate what one has. 

Love is....

     I don't know if its age or just co-incidence , but I have a lot of friends who are in avelus for the loss of a parent. I unfortunately have been in their shoes and I know how tough it is to go through. It is as if a part of you is being ripped from you . It does not matter if one was close with one's parent or not, it just feels that way to have a parent pass away. I am sad for my friends who are now going through this because I know that it really takes at least a year of mourning until things get better. It also reminds me to appreciate my mom and other close relatives and friends. It is so important to let people , especially older relatives know how much you love  and appreciate them while they are around.

Growth

    Some people turn 20 and they immediately meet their bashert. By the time they are 30 they have four kids , a house  and a great job. Well as you know I am not describing myself. While I would love to have all these things even at this stage of the game, not attaining these ideals has forced me to find happiness in other ideals. It made me realize that even if I never get what everyone is supposed to want I can still be happy. This does not mean I have given up it just means that I am not depressed all of the time because I  single .
     The real test is when  one learns to appreciate life within whatever lot one is given . Its easy to be happy with one's lot when things come easy. I am not suggesting making life harder for one's self to get a bigger reward, just saying  that the bigger the struggle the bigger the payoff.

       When one has trials one is forced to re-examine life in order to appreciate life. It is a bigger test  to have an easy time in life and to really appreciate things even though it was not difficult to receive life's blessings. This of course is the test I would like to have but unfortunately not the one I always have.

a perfect world

so many singles say that everything would be perfect if they were married. others say everything would be perfect if they were rich. some parents of small children can't wait until their kids were just a little older because they would get more sleep. everyone wishes that  they were thinner. it will better when the weather is a little warmer/colder. students  can't wait until they graduate. those on the job force are looking forward to retirement. those who live in apartments would love to own houses and those who own houses think that life would be perfect if only they owned a second home in florida/israel..

yes life would be better if all of these wishes would be fulfilled. it is important to have goals and things  to look forward to .  life is occurring right now even if it isn't all we had wished it  would be. we are alive. even if we were living all of our dreams right now we would find more to hope for and more to kvetch about. the secret to happiness is enjoying the gifts of life we have now because if one  appreciates what one does have in life one will always be happy. (easier said than done!)

paramedics

when my dad passed away almost two years ago we called 911 before proceeding to the hospital. the paramedics who tended to my dad were the most kind individuals. they knew things were serious and they used low tones and gentle words with my family members. i will forever be grateful for their kindness. it took 9/11 for me to appreciate firemen , it took my father's death for me to truly appreciate the work of a paramedic. of course i would have preferred to have appreciated these professions without something dire happening

dog days of summer

why is it that the dog days of summer usually mean that i am working like a dog instead of lazing around like a dog?  being an adult really stinks. all of the responsibility, but none of the perks. then again, as a kid i always wished i was an adult so i could stay up all night. now that im an adult i wish i could get myself to sleep earlier and not stay up half the night.  as a kid i always wanted to be able to eat as much junk food as possible. now i can eat as much nosh as possible and wish someone else was cooking for me so it would be easier to eat a more nutritious diet. homework was always such a drag . now i wish that homework was my only responsibility! as and adult i have realized many of my childhood wishes and now i wish i was a kid again without the realities of adulthood. in fifty years i am sure i will wish i was back at this phase of my life. i guess we people are just a bunch of kvetchers. there advantages and disadvantages at every stage of life. the trick is to consciously appreciate the good parts as much as we can.  its tough , but necessary.

father's day

this father's day is the second father's day since my dad has passed away. it is also the first father's day that i don't have any relative to wish happy father's day to as my last living great uncle has passed away and none of my brothers are fathers (yet). its a weird concept to get used to . its kind of along the lines of life goes on. get used to it. and much as one is forced to get used to things, in concept it is always easier to do than in reality.
unfortunately people don't usually appreciate things until they are gone . appreciate your parents because after 120 when they are not around you will miss them terribly. unfortunately this is easier said than done.
happy father's day.

shavuous

ordinarily when holidays arrive it accentuates my singleness. this year i have a different attitude. i think that we should all really appreciate life and the fact that we are on this earth to celebrate another holiday. life is never what you expect it to be. this doesn't mean that we shouldn't strive for anything it just means that no matter how much effort is expended the outcome may not be as anticipated.
on that note, have a peaceful and grateful shavuous.

Happy Mother's Day

ive always thought of mother's day and father's day as important days. they wake a person up and force them to be thankful they have parents and for everything that their parents have done for them. this year mother's day has an even stronger meaning. my father has passed away and my mother is now my only living parent. i have always been grateful for her presence in my life, but now it is even more dear. it is so important to appreciate people when they are alive and in your life , when they can hear and see your appreciation. to all the mothers out there happy mother's day. and to everyone , appreciate your mother today and and everyday.