Control

     I am feeling like though I do not have a lot of control over what is happening lately that I want to try and find something that I can control . I am really glad that its raining outside today because I had planned to stay in my apartment today except for putting out the garbage and getting my mail. I am grateful for my family and my family of friends who are helping me survive this plague.
      When I broke my shoulder 3 years ago my head went mush and I didn't even have the peace of mind to watch tv . As stressed out I am about the coronavirus I am able to watch tv and read which helps a lot. My arm is healed  and I have been crocheting.  I also have cleaned up my apartment a little bit. I am that bored,
      I am also limiting my news consumption. Its not wise to put one's head in the sand but watching and reading the news 24/7 is not necessary to keep updated. I am trying but not sure how successfully to be okay with the  uncertainty. As much as there is a outline for what may happen with this pandemic , we won't know the future until it happens. With G-d's help things will go better than anticipated. Until then we need to keep on truckin'
   

   

Historic Mayhem

     I only watched the last question of the presidential debate tonight. It is a question that I would not expect to be asked of candidates in an American election. The question being "After all the mud slinging this evening, is there anything nice either of you can say about your opponent? " What a sad state of affairs when we have two candidates for commander in chief of the United States and it has come down to this.  There is a book called  I LEARNED EVERYTHING I NEEDED TO KNOW IN KINDERGARTEN. Well, I think that the future president of the United States needs to read that book stat.
      I admit that I haven't watched a presidential debate since I was in high school and that the only breaking news story that I wasn't pissed about interrupting  a soap opera was the Clarence Thomas and Anita Hill hearings. This is a close second. I would enjoy it more if it really was a soap opera.
      When I am not putting my head in the sand when the November elections are mentioned I think  about how every presidential election since the Gore - Bush election has been bizarre and I wonder in what way the election could be any odder than the current one. Each presidential election over the past 15 years I have thought this and unfortunately each election surpassed my imagination for being more preposterous than the last.
        In November 2001 I went to sleep election night after it was announced that Gore was declared president. When I got up in the morning the newscasters announced that it was still too close to call. Say what? That NEVER had happened before. Okay, I wasn't surprised  that Bush made a second term after stealing the 2000 election.
        In 2008 Obama came out of nowhere and beat Hilary Clinton for the nomination of President . In 2012 he got a second term .
       And that brings us to today. I may have preferred Hilary Clinton as a candidate in 2008, but a lot has happened between now and then. Donald Trump   became the Republican candidate which has made this campaign seem more and more like high school student council elections. Ronald Reagan was an actor, but Donald Trump is a reality tv star. What I would like to know is whose reality is he living ?
         As Yom Kippur is coming closer I think that there has never been more incentive to pray for our future. I ask you Hashem why is it that people always seem to need to have such strong incentive before we realize that the future really is in Your hands? We  need to do our best but  we are not in control, You are.
        

Control Issues

    I have a friend who thinks that everyone has control over how their life turns out. While I don't think that everything is complete happenstance I don't think that everything that happens to us is in our control either. A person has to try  but one does not always get what one wants no matter how much they try. I wish life really was how my friend thinks it is . Life would be so much easier.
     Man plans. G-d laughs. 

Control

      At the risk of sounding blasphemous and with no disrespect for what is going on in Israel and the world over, I will present a problem that I am having . I am so overwhelmed by it all. I was doing okay until I heard of local threats of anti-semitism. That sort of threw me off the edge. Its not that the thought had not crossed my mind but until one sees mention of it in print (on facebook no less) it seems only abstract. I feel like I need to curb my obsessive checking of facebook for updates on Israel. I do not mean to ignore anything, but just to be a little less consumed by it. I realize this sounds cold since our brethren in Israel are always thinking about it, but I'm sure even they need to have other thoughts in their minds.
      Life is full of unknowns  even in more mellow times. I am not one who deals well with uncertainty. I realize that most of life is unexpected as we are not in control of our destinies. This is so hard to internalize. I suppose now is as good a time as ever to work on this issue . Perhaps it will help give me the peace of mind I am searching for.