out of towner

     I have lived in New York for more years than I would like to admit to but I still consider myself an out of towner. Some of my friends find this funny because I have lived in New York longer than I have lived outside of New York. They just don't understand. When someone is Israeli , even if they have lived in the United States longer than they had in Israel we still call them Israeli. When someone came to the United states from Russia as a child and they still  have the accent we call them Russian.                                                                                                                                                When people meet me  especially Brooklynites, they always ask me where I am from even after I have told them that I live in Midwood. My accent betrays me. My outlook on life has been shaped by the place I spent my formative years. Its not that New York hasn't changed me, it has. I am single and child free. My family does not live near me. I have friends, but not roots in New York. To me New York is a place, not a home.

     I do not plan on moving to Israel as a single person, but I might consider it if I married someone who has family in Israel. When I  have been in Israel it did seem like home. I felt homesick for my family when I was there, but I did feel at home there. If I made aliyah I would call myself an Israeli.
     Israel would feel like home in a way New York never has.

don't sweat it

besides being  the kickoff to summer, this weekend has been the kickoff to summer heat. everyone who knows me knows that i can't take the heat. even as a child i couldn't . the school that i went to as a kid was backward and they finally got air conditioning installed when i was in sixth grade. until then they had the industrial strength fans which were so-so. as kids we would all sit with mini portable fans to cool ourselves off. when i was in third grade i fainted in class from the heat. i remember standing for shemonah esreh and then suddenly i found myself on the floor. it was so embarrassing.
except for my backward school, everyone where i grew up in the midwest had central air conditioning. i went to a small shul for awhile that had an air conditioning unit. it worked well, but it was so odd and foreign to me at the time.
when i was in college the dorm had a/c window units which i used as necessary.
i admit that i roughed it for awhile when i lived in a basement apartment, but even there it was a little cooler than if i had lived on a regular floor.
now that im an adult and i live in apartment on the top floor of my apartment building i would find the summers unbearable if i didn't have my air-conditioning  unit. i try not to be a shabbos guest to those who do not use a/c. the worst part is that some of those who do not use air conditioning also don't use fans.
the heat effects my skin . my psoriasis flares up and itches more in the summer. paying the extra fifty dollars a month is less money than buying medication to treat psoriasis and far more enjoyable.

as time marches on

i havent lived with my parents since i was a month shy of 18. i remember being a kid and living with them but to be honest its but a distant memory. whenever i meet adults my age who still live with their parents i always wonder WHY? granted, im originally from the midwest, and moving to new york is a rite of passage for frum young adults who want to marry someone frum, but even so i think that by the time i would have graduated college and started working i would have moved out of my parents house even if i would have been a native new yorker. as frustrated as i am about being single, i am always comforted by the fact that at least i am capable of independence. i have my own apartment and i can afford to support myself. if i lived with my parents i would feel like i was just waiting for my adult life to begin. some people who live with their parents are independent, many are not. some wait far too long to move out until their parents are too old and then they cant leave them.
many singles past a certain age dont want to date men who were never married. im not so particular. i just want someone who can take care of himself.

the calm before the heat wave

i know that im alone in this sentiment, but im really glad that there havent been that many hot days yet. its already mid-june. this also means that i havent had to use my air conditioning all that much either.
my favorite time of the year is spring and fall when you dont have to wear a jacket during the day though you may need a sweater early morning or after dark.
im not a fan of heat and humidity. its so hard to breathe when its so humid outside . i originate from a city that is even more extreme in the summer that new york. in new york it just gets as hot and humid as my former hometown two or three weeks of the year. brooklyn in the summer is like the mountains compared to my former hometown. unfortunately heat and humidity isnt somthing one gets used to .(at least not me!)
im going to savor the cool weather while its here and before my electric bill reaches triple digits.