The Turtle And The Hare

     When some people become frum they go full force . They quickly abandon all else and become the epitome of frumkeit. With other people its a process. They know what the truth is and then they slowly but surely internalize their ritual observance.  One does not choose to go full force or slow and steady , its a personality issue.
      I suppose the best way to be is the type who goes full force as soon as one decides frumkeit is it. When the Jews accepted the Torah they said ' na'asseh v'nishmah'  'we will do and listen' instead of 'tell me about it and then I  will decide'.
      For me it is not a choice. I am the type who needs the process to change myself. Its not that I never take a chance , but I usually take calculated chances not spontaneous ones. The joke is that even when one thinks something out before embarking on it there are still forks in the road that one would never had anticipated. G-d really does look out for us even when we act rashly. If only we paid better attention we would hear the warnings.

true love

   True love is knowing another person's true personality and still sticking by their side. This sounds simple , but it isn't. The nice part is realizing when you are in that place with someone . You acknowledge that there are things about the other person that make you nuts, but its ok.  There is so much good about them that the shortcomings only look like blips instead of potholes.

can people really change?

i had a professor in college who used to say that people don't change, not even from religion. at the time i didn't realize what he meant. now i do. people can change certain behaviors within themselves but one can't change ones essence. one can channel ones anger in a positive fashion and not give in to ones gut reactions. but they are still there under the surface. a shy person can force their self to be more social, but innately their first gut reaction will be to be shy. an overly sensitive person will always have such sensitivities even  though they may be able to rationally confront a stressful situation. ones core make up is g-d given. what we do  have control over is how we channel these attributes.

religion and personality

i think that its so interesting that when people try to set people up that the focus is on  specific ritual observances  without mentioning the mindset behind them. someone can dress the part but not believe in what they are doing.  on paper someone else may not seem to be so ritually observant, but have incredible kavanah about what he does do. this is why all of the labels in the world on frumster wont ever begin to tell me the religious level of a potential date. frumster does give everyone a chance to state what  their level of judaism is, but the personality section would tell me more about their religious level.
if someone is so rigid that they always have to have the last word then most likely they are just as rigid in their religious beliefs no matter how ritualistically staunch or lax. if someone is a live and let live type  then they probably feel this way toward religion. if someone is the keeping up with the jones' type this will manifest in their religious beliefs. they will want a fancy kiddush because everyone else does, will follow the hippest chumrahs.
of course its important to know the nuts and bolts of a potential's religious level, but it only means something if one considers their personality = mindset.

teshuva

for the most part people are who they are unless they make an effort to change . even then their internal tendencies are still there, its just up to us to decide which direction we channel them.
someone who is very excitable will likely always be this way unless he retrains himself to react differently and even then his first reaction might be to fly off the handle. he could also use his excitability to aid those who need a voice but are too quiet to voice them . they could be a public advocate since they well know how to criticize authority.
a very jappy girl might always want to wear chanel , but know she is not able to afford such luxury so she's merely a gap jap. this desire for the very best is not necessarily a bad thing. one could use this tendency to provide quality clothing for the poor so they will be presentable for job interviews.
i think that the idea of changing one's shortcomings into assets is what it means to do teshuva. one may not be able to change core personality traits, but one is capable of controlling how one uses them.