desperation

Its bad enough being single and "normal" and having difficulty finding a shidduch but when I hear people talking about their diagnosed mentally ill relatives and how they hope that that will marry I silently lose it. I realize that they don't mean to be inconsiderate, but when they speak about mentally ill people who are not in my opinion capable of taking care of themselves let alone marry but I  lose it. I try to be polite and not spell out my feelings.  I tell them that they should just worry about their loved one being able to take care of themselves and live a happy life . I certainly wouldn't want to date anyone like their loved one and their loved one is too naive and vulnerable to date anyone let alone marry. I try to be polite because I know that people are in denial about mentally ill loved ones. They  know that wishing them marriage is a dream but they can't help themselves. They don't realize that speaking to me about these fears is not the best idea. I feel too stupid about my resentment to confront them with my true feelings on the subject , so we  continue to have this conversation.

would you rather?

would you rather have cancer than aids? would you rather be single than divorced with 3 special needs children? would you rather get married at forty and be childless and happily married for fifty years or marry at twenty, have four kids but be widowed at fifty? would you rather have psoriasis and no wrinkles or clear skin and wrinkles? would you rather have noisy neighbors and live in a safe neighborhood or would you rather live on a farm in new mexico? would your rather be single than married to tiger woods?
i really don't know the answers to any of these questions, nor do i want to. these are the types of incoherent things people like to ask singles when they kvetch about being single. when i kvetch i don't want a would you rather diatribe, id like someone to suggest someone appropriate for me to go out with or just just listen and not say anything. i would rather not be asked would i rather.

the signs are on the lampposts

i usually dont pay much attention to lamppost signs, but this one was a doozy. i dont remember the exact words, but basically it said that some bochur who wants to get married and have a family needs our help because he needs some procedure. dont get me wrong, everyone who is having a medical problem deserves to have help, but because they are human and deserve to be in proper health, not because they want to get married and have a family. if he was elderly would he not deserve to be well? if he never will have children, doesnt he still deserve to be well? i do hope this young man gets whatever help he needs, but not just because he wants to get married and have a family. will people only have pity on a sick person if they want to get married and have a family? i somehow think that the torah does not make that kind of stipulation.
i dont remember whether i saw that lamppost in boro park or flatbush, but im pretty sure that i saw it on avenue j last night. scary....