Doni’s Life and Loss

Doni’s Life and Loss    I read this article today. A friend of mine posted it on facebook, and I think its on aish hatorah's website. Its about a frum family whose son suffered from mental illness and has recently committed suicide. Unfortunately many people suffer from mental illness and this article is a window into that world . It is well written and very sad. I recommend reading this article not because its sad, but to raise awareness and empathy toward others.

desperation

Its bad enough being single and "normal" and having difficulty finding a shidduch but when I hear people talking about their diagnosed mentally ill relatives and how they hope that that will marry I silently lose it. I realize that they don't mean to be inconsiderate, but when they speak about mentally ill people who are not in my opinion capable of taking care of themselves let alone marry but I  lose it. I try to be polite and not spell out my feelings.  I tell them that they should just worry about their loved one being able to take care of themselves and live a happy life . I certainly wouldn't want to date anyone like their loved one and their loved one is too naive and vulnerable to date anyone let alone marry. I try to be polite because I know that people are in denial about mentally ill loved ones. They  know that wishing them marriage is a dream but they can't help themselves. They don't realize that speaking to me about these fears is not the best idea. I feel too stupid about my resentment to confront them with my true feelings on the subject , so we  continue to have this conversation.

chaim charlie irwin estevez sheen(berg)

charlie sheen is unhinged . i used to watch the show two and a half men and think that his character was an amped up version of the real charlie sheen. apparently his tv character is a toned down character  of the real charlie sheen. too bad. the man has been drugged up involved with prostitutes and physically abusing women for quite awhile now. most recently he decides to "out " the real name of his show's producer charles lorre. apparently lorre's real name is charles michael levine. charlie sheen called him chaim levine and managed to say the chet in chaim quite well. we all know charlie sheen's name really is carlos irwin estevez so one would think that it wouldn't make much difference what chuck lorre's name is or isn't. and of course all of hollywood changes their names. name changing in general is no crime.
of course all of the chaim calling is just because charlie sheen's reckless conduct prior to the name calling has created a situation where the show had to get rid of him. two and a half men is one of the most popular network comedies . i don't think that they would get rid of charlie sheen if they didn't see any other choice. money is money.  people are greedy.
so now charlie sheen resorted to name calling. his ex wives don't want him to see his kids , his dad wanted the show to shut down months ago so his son could get help. charlie sheen goes on a media frenzy. he looks crazier than tom cruise bouncing off the walls when he was being interviewed with matt lauer. the only pity i have for charlie sheen is that he doesn't realize the depths of his insanity.
if charlie sheen knew anything about judaism he would know  emor  me'at veaseh harbeh - say little and do much.
silence is golden. the less you say the better you appear.

scary messy

we all know the definition of neat, but what exactly constitutes too messy? how messy does one have to be to be considered scary messy?
messy is piles of papers all over but no apple cores on the floor or food anywhere outside of the fridge or kitchen cabinets unless one is eating a meal. food or goopy dirt everywhere constitutes dirty.
i am not as neat as i would like to be, but ive seen other friends' housekeeping skills and id say many have apartments that make me feel like im in my own home. i have never gotten so out of control that i would not invite a friend over.
scary messy is yet another level. its the level where one never lets anyone, not even close friends, into one's apartment. i suspect that i have a few friends or acquaintances who keep house scary messy because they will never let anyone besides themselves see the walls of their abode. heck, they know how i dont keep house. if they are still embarrassed for me to see their dwelling, well they are indeed scary messy housekeepers.
though i will never have a home as organized as martha stewart, i will say when im most at peace with the world my apartment is more organized. when im less enthused with life, my organizational skills peter out. much as i hate to admit it, this connection exists. this is why i pity the scary messy so. they are so far gone in more ways than one that their homes become scary messy. they are too weak to clean up after themselves, but have enough self respect not to invite anyone else into their mishmash.

all the lonely people...

the beatles had a song about all the lonely people... im thinking about it now because i know several eccentric lonely singles who met untimely deaths. its just so sad. they had such deep underlying psychological issues that made them so eccentric. though deep down one realized these singles had such deep-seated issues it was hard to internalize.when one heard of their untimely passing, it became all too apparent. we wished it wasnt so , but alas it was. some we could have helped had we not been in such denial , but for others there was no way we could have known the intensity of their illnesses. we havent (bh) known such turmoil so we would not have noticed these deficits in others.
hopefully those tormented souls are able to rest in peace now that they are in the next world , because in this world they knew no rest.