The Accidental Mentor

     I have  always admired people who mentor kids from less fortunate backgrounds but I never had the drive to do so myself. Over time I have realized that there is all sorts of mentoring. You can be an example to others without going out of one's way to do so. I work with younger people of diverse backgrounds. Work is sometimes the only thing that I really have in common with them, but somehow we all get along. By now I am old enough to realize that there is no need to pretend to be ultra -hip  just because I am of a different generation than some of my co-workers. No one expects me to be. I am comfortable being myself. I also do not really want to be part of their ridiculous shenanigans. We can all coexist quite harmoniously despite our differences. I can also be a beacon of nerdy normalcy for those who hail from more colorful backgrounds. I have not achieved many of my goals in life, but I am still a good example of a stable adult that some of my young co-workers do not always have in their lives. I can be an example by being their friend . This is not a responsibility that I have ever asked for but one that I know is important to try to do. Just because some people hail from weird home situations it does not mean that they can't change their luck and become boring respectable people.

book: the women who raised me

i just finished reading a most excellent book called the women who raised me by victoria rowell.

victoria rowell is an actress on the soap opera the young and the restless .

please don't stop reading folks. this post is not about about a book about the frivolous life of a soap actress. this post is about the fact that its not what your background that defines you, its what you do with your life.

victoria rowell is the biological child of a mentally unstable white woman and an unknown black father. she grew up as a foster child and a ward of the state of maine . this woman did not let this stop her from reaching for her dreams . it also did not stop her for being grateful to the people who were present for her in her childhood as well as the rest of her life.

whenever i think of foster children i conjure up an unstable child. many children who go through the foster care system get quite messed up. partly due to their upbringing , partly up to their unwise choices.

as a young child one of her foster mothers helped her cultivate her innate talent for dance by finding a dance program for foster and disadvantaged children in boston .the rest is history.

victoria rowell went on to dance with twyla tharp, become an actress as well as found her own charities for foster children.

victoria rowell proves that it pays to be a foster parent or a mentor in general. her biggest achievement is not her career , but the fact that she has such hakaras hatov- such appreciation- for those who helped her along the way to shape who she is today .

reading this book can be quite tough. its so sad to see how alone a foster child can be even in the best of cases. what makes it worthwhile is the ending where this child ward of the state has such determination to evolve into such a grounded,positive , accomplished individual.