Monday, December 28, 2009


ive always said that its better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all. i still believe this. it just really sucks when things don't turn out like one would have liked them to. i hate the old adage "everything happens for a reason" , but being the eternal realist, i believe this to be accurate in affairs of the heart. there is a reason things may not work out , but we may not know immediately why this is. for me this is the hardest part. unfortunately sometimes i have found out later reasons why it was VERY good things had not worked out . how i had been saved from a life i would not have wanted. i would not have guessed it at the time.... but it turned out to be the best thing for me even though i had cried my eyes out at the time of the break up. so now is the time to stay strong ,ride the wave and have faith that someone better is just around the corner.....

Saturday, December 26, 2009

when does it happen?

i often look at the undesirable males at singles events and i wonder how it is they turned out this way. i mean really, you look at babies. babies are so cute. when did that change occur? when and how did that adorable infant turn into that annoying clod im trying so hard to escape at a singles event?
sometimes there is a rage that builds up in a guy and makes him turn into that guy everyone runs from. it is also quite sad . if this rage hadn't compounded so much he might have remained normal.
on occasion i can identify emergence of the clod gene. some guys start to get it in their mid-thirties. its scary because you see it coming but there is nothing you can do about it. you see that rage building up within him coupled with rejection and you just know its coming. too many girls have done him wrong he says. probably he straddles the edge between cool and nerdy . he's just cool enough that the rejection of the cool girls really gets to him. this is his downfall. by the time he turns forty it is all over. he's not just a super geek he's a loser. he's mad at the world, especially at women. and now he's at the point of no return. the creepdom has taken over any sign of coolness he had ever had and he is now a bonafide loser .
im not sure that this is the reason some shadchanim think that some guys really need to get married, but if you ask me it is. if these guys would get married before the rage overtakes them they would not be the losers i encounter at singles events.

Tuesday, December 22, 2009

notes on the hannukah song

december 3,1994 adam sandler debuted the original hannukah song on saturday night live. i watched in it in awe and part disbelief. it was hysterically funny and unmistakably jewish. while i was watching it i had no idea it would become such a cult classic and the only hannukah song played on the radio amidst of all of the x-mas carols every december.
the hannukah song is really a very silly song. it lists all the jewish celebrities who may or may not actually celebrate hannukah so all of us lonley jewish kids dont feel like we are all alone lighting a menorah each december. it also is sung by adam sandler in one of his childishly annoying voices. no matter. somehow this silly song caught on.
its too bad a song more like al hanisim or even the dreidel song do not reach the public air waves each december. but they do not. so im glad that the hannukah song does. at least it reminds the unaffiliated that there is a hannukah and that some hip celebrity wrote a song that they might be able to relate to.
i dont think that adam sandler had any idea he was creating a cult phenomenon when he was cooking up his hannukah song. he probably was just trying to write some kooky hannukah song for a saturday night live skit. dumb luck turned it into a holiday classic. and yes i do think that this is ultimately good for the jews.

Monday, December 21, 2009

20,000 hits!!!

i passed the 20,000 hit mark yesterday!! what's really cool is that it took me a year and four months to get to 10,000 hits. its taken nine more months to get to 20,000! thank you all for reading!!!

Sunday, December 20, 2009

would you rather?

would you rather have cancer than aids? would you rather be single than divorced with 3 special needs children? would you rather get married at forty and be childless and happily married for fifty years or marry at twenty, have four kids but be widowed at fifty? would you rather have psoriasis and no wrinkles or clear skin and wrinkles? would you rather have noisy neighbors and live in a safe neighborhood or would you rather live on a farm in new mexico? would your rather be single than married to tiger woods?
i really don't know the answers to any of these questions, nor do i want to. these are the types of incoherent things people like to ask singles when they kvetch about being single. when i kvetch i don't want a would you rather diatribe, id like someone to suggest someone appropriate for me to go out with or just just listen and not say anything. i would rather not be asked would i rather.

Saturday, December 19, 2009

divorced is better???

often people will try to fix me up with a guy who is divorced and they will try to plug it by saying "hey at least he could make a commitment!" well, im still not convinced that its better to go out with a divorced guy than a never married guy.
alot of times the divorced guy has a truckload of baggage because he has kids. ive heard so many divorce stories that my head is spinning. i don't really know who to believe when i hear them. there is his side, her side and the truth. and of course you have to be hashem to know the truth.
my favorite divorce story is the one where the ex-wife was crazy. while this might be true, it also might not be. maybe he made her act nuts. who knows. i also love how the guys think that withholding a get is okay because a rabbi told them to. whatever. alot of the rabbis are anti-woman anyway. what do they care? meanwhile loverboy who is withholding the get is having a grand old time dating . but the rabbis said it was okay. good grief.
granted , single , never married men have their share of problems as well. they still think a scarlett johannson look alike is going to marry them even though they look like jack black. or they are fifty plus and think someone under thirty five will want to marry them.

Monday, December 14, 2009

al hanisim v'al haniflaot ! aka - a real hannukah miracle!!

a real hannukah miracle happened to me today. i had situation in my apartment that needed attending to and by the miracle of hannukah it was able to be fixed by the super today. laugh if you must, but this truly was a hannukah gift. within the first few days that i had moved into my apartment i had true tsuris. i flushed the toilet that fateful evening and the toilet flushed for eight hours straight. it was loud , it splashed and the super was nowhere to be found. it took weeks to get the super to install a new flushometer. this is why today my friends i consider it a hannukah miracle that my apartment ailment was so promptly attended to . not only has it been fixed , but i wont be spending my free moments leaving messages for the super or calling 311. i bh will be able to enjoy the rest of the holiday in my repaired abode.
happy hannukah!!

Sunday, December 13, 2009

bragger beware!!

i absolutely hate braggers!!! i don't like drawing attention to myself even when goodness finds me. i don't like to make others feel envious of me. it really irks me that some people love bragging. they just think they are sooo special. what self confidence! what conceit! to me bragging is the worst midah one can possess. why make others who don't have what you have feel bad for what they are lacking?

Friday, December 11, 2009


i always like it when hannukah does not correspond with x-mas, so it does not get completely overshadowed by that other holiday. then again, alot of secular jews might not give a thought to hannukah if not for the fact that it falls so close to x-mas.
being a closet pyromaniac i really love lighting the menorah. i love the look of the fire and watching the candles burn. for shabbos i always use the olive oil menorah, but somehow the olive oil menorah doesn't have as much sparkle to me. i know that there is a bigger mitzvah to use the olive oil, but it doesn't seem more mehudar to me.
lately the sufganiot have gained popularity, but i was never a fan of jelly donuts. weiss's bakery has caramel filled ones which are good, but i would rather have a greasy latke any day over whatever filled donut that is on the hannukah market.
whatever you light or eat, have a very happy hannukah!

Wednesday, December 9, 2009

the hannukah stamp.

well here we are again. its december. its happy hannukah time. though i love e-cards, i always send out traditional snail mail cards. i have an aresenal of hannukah stamps. apparently i still have some of the first hannukah stamp which was 32 cents!!! i had bought a bunch of them because i was so excited they actually had a jewish stamp and i was afraid they wouldn't make them again the next year. well they did and they even made a dreidel one which i have the 37 cent, 41 cent and 42 cent version of. since ive been buying the forever stamp for the past few years i never remember how much a stamp is , so i looked it up online. turns out there is an updated menorah stamp that was made in 2008 that's actually 44 cents (which turns is still how much a stamp is in 2009) i have some now. i only bought 20 of them this time.

Sunday, December 6, 2009

ready, set , go!!

when i was in my early twenties i remember a shadchan becoming impatient with me after i had gone out with a guy three times. " what do you mean you arent sure about bochur x after three dates? some people get engaged after 10 dates!!! what is with you?" apparently this shadchan hasn't gone shopping with me. when i go to a clothing store i check out everything that is there , try on all of the maybes and then make a decision as to which i would like to buy. when i go to a jewelery booth at a holiday market i take stock of everything and sometimes wait until the next day until i choose a trinket. i eventually make a purchase , but not without much thought and consideration. apparently shadchanim do not understand this, which i find quite odd. isn't that the point of shidduch dating? one is supposed to choose a mate through logical deliberation, not gut lust?
i do agree that dating someone for too long doesn't bode well in a relationship if one is serious about getting married, its just the timeline that i have my own feelings about. if someone is a very open person then a shorter dating period can be ok, but if one isn't then ten dates before engagement spells trouble. i have also found that time in itself is helpful in the shidduch process. at first everyone is on his/her best behavior, but as time passes one starts to be more ones self. the other thing is that over time life happens. tempers flare , one gets to learn the others spending habits and one gets to see the others true religious level. these are things that happen over time. one can only see what the other person's debating tactics are if one is in an actual argument with them. at first a guy may be very generous, but over time it may prove that he is quite miserly. or the opposite. a guy could extravagant and be a million dollars in debt. one might proclaim to be a certain level of frumkeit, but over time one can see if the other lives up to his/her appointed level. these issues are the tip of the iceberg. one cannot know everything about a person before one commits but it does pay to make the effort. some people do well being pushed into things. i do not . the more one pushes me the more i will say no way, especially when the stakes are so high.

Friday, December 4, 2009


art is not a handicraft. it is a transmission of feeling the artist has experienced.-tolstoy. or at least according to some poster i saw yesterday , these words are tolstoys! no matter. i believe its true. art is definitely self expression to the max. the more one has experienced the richer ones art . this applies to writing , painting, crochet , photography, jewelery making , etc. its not just a matter of slapping some words together or following a pattern. its a matter of transmitting one's being via creativity.

Wednesday, December 2, 2009

food issues

i must have the most interesting grocery cart in midwood. whenever im at the checkout at glatt mart someone decides to pick up one of my food items on the checkout counters and ask me about it. its the biggest pain in the you know what. another favorite is those who decide to tell me how expensive the item they are groping is and is it really worth the money. even if i went shopping with my own mother she wouldn't ask me this. i cant stand this brooklyn-jewish invasion of privacy. i don't appreciate someone beside the check out person handling my grocery items either, but i figure anyone could have fondled the food package before i put it on the check out counter, so i usually try to just suck it up. i think that i should look into a new career as a personal grocery shopper. if my new clients dont actually like how their food items taste at least they will find them intriguing.

Tuesday, December 1, 2009


i picked up the new york post at duncan donuts today and read my horoscope. welcome to the world of great comedy. my sign is virgo and this was my horrorscope for today: Too many of the people you have dealings with today will talk and talk some more without actually telling you much of what you need to know. In which case you might as well plug in your ear phones and blank out their chatter.
welcome to my world. except in real life this is my horrroscope everyday!!

Sunday, November 29, 2009


the past few sundays i have spent walking through the nature of upstate new york as well as the nature in the urban jungle of nyc. i feel lucky that we have had some beautiful weather to facilitate such enjoyment. it has been so good for my soul. i really need to spend more time with nature.

Thursday, November 26, 2009

killing kasztner

i saw the documentary killing kasztner last night. it was a bit slow moving for the first half hour or so , but was an interesting subject no less. im not sure that i can recommend the movie after viewing it because it was a bit dry , but the subject itself is riveting.

rudolph kasztner saved nearly 17 thousand hungarian jews including the satmar rebbe during the holocaust. he did it by making deals with nazis . eventually after the shoah he ended up in israel . a reporter named malchiel gruenwald accused him of collaborating with the nazis and berated him for not having saved more jews. eventually kasztner was assassinated. not only were kasztner and his family harassed over this, but the survivors who kasztner saved were harassed as well. since he saved nearly 17 thousand jews why couldn't he have saved more?

it took sixty years for kasztner to be honored by yad vashem for having saved so many jews. though he wasnt able to witness this many of those he had saved were able to see this. they finally felt vindicated.

i dont claim to know all of the facts about this case , even after seeing this film . i will say that its a crime that kasztner was assasinated. the fact that he had saved SO MANY jewish souls should have been heralded. he many not have saved more than 17 thousand, but this number is incredible. i am also quite certain that others who saved jews made deals with nazis in order to save jews and were honored for having saved jews as well they should be. kasztner should be honored as well . those who he had saved had enough survivor's guilt. they shouldnt have been made to feel bad because of the circumstance they were allowed to to continue living.

after viewing this film i want to read more about this topic. though i cant recommend this film with a full heart because it was slow moving, i am glad that i saw it . it opened up a door of knowledge. now all i need to do is find a copy of perfidy by ben hecht and the kasztner train by anna porter and im good to go.

Monday, November 23, 2009

as time marches on

i havent lived with my parents since i was a month shy of 18. i remember being a kid and living with them but to be honest its but a distant memory. whenever i meet adults my age who still live with their parents i always wonder WHY? granted, im originally from the midwest, and moving to new york is a rite of passage for frum young adults who want to marry someone frum, but even so i think that by the time i would have graduated college and started working i would have moved out of my parents house even if i would have been a native new yorker. as frustrated as i am about being single, i am always comforted by the fact that at least i am capable of independence. i have my own apartment and i can afford to support myself. if i lived with my parents i would feel like i was just waiting for my adult life to begin. some people who live with their parents are independent, many are not. some wait far too long to move out until their parents are too old and then they cant leave them.
many singles past a certain age dont want to date men who were never married. im not so particular. i just want someone who can take care of himself.

making trouble... again

as anyone who reads this blog knows, im a big fan of movies and an even bigger fan of movies with jewish themes. i reviewed the movie making trouble almost two years ago after i viewed it at the jewish film festival. since i wrote this review january 23, 2008 which was at the beginning of my blogging career i thought this movie deserves a second mention for those of you who may not have seen this review, or the movie for that matter.
this review is a bit updated from my last review because after a second viewing of the film i realized that i had mixed up some of the facts in my first review! anyway, here goes....
making trouble is a film directed by rachel talbot and presented by the jewish womens archive. the movie is about funny jewish women, featuring molly picon, fanny brice, sophie tucker , joan rivers, gilda radnor , and wendy wasserstein. though joan rivers is not the youngest of the lot, she is the only one still alive. the movie begins with four younger jewish comediennes- judy gold, jackie hoffman, cory kahaney and jessica kirson sitting at katz's deli discussing the topic of jewish women in comedy and introducing these legendary ladies of comedy.
the first great lady of jewish comedy featured was molly picon. she grew up in philadelphia and started out performing in vaudeville. subsequently she starred in many yiddish films and plays. to me she is legendary even though i had never heard of her until i happened upon her 1980's autobiography at the library. after reading about her life i watched many of her films on video from the library and became a huge fan.the woman did somersaults at eighty!! one of the most touching scenes recounted in the film was how molly went to the d.p. camps after the holocaust and performed for the survivors. in an interview, she spoke of a mother who held out her small child and begged molly to perform saying " my child has never heard laughter. perform for her!" and she spoke of child survivors who she had performed for outside who insisted she perform even in the rain. it was amazing to see film clips of an exuberant molly playing a teenager in yiddle mitn fiddle at 37 years of age.
next up was fanny brice who was quite a star in her time as well. my parents have always remembered her playing baby snooks. fanny brice was so popular that a betty boop cartoon even features her in cartoon. fanny brice was a beautiful woman, but since she didnt posses the blond haired, blue eyed look of the time so she became a comedic actress instead of the romantic lead. she eventually got a nose job to look less jewish. from the footage she looked very jewish , but contrary to what many say, she was not ugly. apparently she did not have a yiddish accent, but affected one when she performed.
sophie tucker , who id heard of but knew the least about was also featured. she grew up in connecticut to an observant jewish family. after a brief marriage and the birth of a son she went off to become a performer at the tender age of 17. to me she seemed the least jewish of all of the comediennes featured even though her life was very much entwined in the jewish community.
sophie's grand-niece was featured giving insight about her aunt. eerily this niece very much resembles her great aunt.
next up was joan rivers. when they showed a recent clip of her it was heartbreaking. she has done so much plastic surgery that she looks more like jocelyn wildenstein than jocelyn wildenstein herself. id seen old footage of joan rivers when i was a child, but this was the first time i had seen old footage of hers as an adult. she was truly funny from the start. the thing that i have always like about joan rivers is that she never denies her jewishness. in fact she owns it. upon viewing her pre-plastic surgery self, i realized that she never needed any to begin with.
gilda radner was always my favorite on saturday night live. i read a lovely book about her by alan zwiebel called bunny, bunny. alan zwiebel was featured in her retrospective in the film. the film included my favorite snl faux commercial for jewess jeans. i hadnt seen it in years. it was just as funny now as it had been then . they also showed a clip with bill murray and john belushi where gilda lights the menorah and says the bracha over the candles. they also showed clips of lisa lupner and roseann roseanadann.
last but not least was wendy wasserstein. though i admit that ive only read a few of her works i think that she was truly amazing. it is so unfortunate that she died so young. i met her in person a few years ago when she did a book reading at barnes and noble for her book shiksa goddess. wendy was such a regular person. she appeared to be the type of person you'd want to be friends with. she was so real. the interviews for this film were taped right before her passing. in fact she passed away before the film was made. it was hard to watch those recent clips of her because she looked like she was in so much pain. thankfully there were other clips of her when she was more vibrant. when the sisters rosensweig came out they wanted her to change the name because it sounded too jewish. why did she have to call it the sisters rosensweig? they said that people around the country would not be able to relate to it. to which she replied " people in around the country don't have sisters?"
i appreciated the contrast between the younger jewish comediennes and the older ones. as you are hearing them retell the stories of these great ladies, you hope that one day their careers will be retold on film.
i wished the film would never end, but alas it did. it was perfection. i highly recommend it. it was a fabulous retrospective with an equal mix of facts i had already known and facts i was honored to learn. once in awhile it is screened around the united states and its now available on dvd through the jwa.

Sunday, November 22, 2009

look to the cookie

in new york there is a cookie called a black and white. black and whites have a vanilla chewy cupcake like consistency and are round and flat. on this round , flat cookie is half white icing and half chocolate icing. in one episode seinfeld has a great line about the symbolism of the black and white cookie. he says "look to the cookie" as a symbol of racial harmony. hmmm.
can there be wisdom to be gained from other cookies? perhaps there is wisdom in a chinese fortune cookie? now if you knew me in person you would know that i dont believe in horoscopes , segulahs, mood rings , four leafed clovers or other such hocus pocus , but do bear with me. i dont mean that i think the fortune in the fortune cookie is viable, but is there a reason one is reading the particular fortune cookie message at that particular time? it could be a totally bogus coincidence, but it also might not be. i recently opened a fortune cookie with a message that i think is very true and there probably is a very good reason i got that message. my message was " a good friendship is often more important than a passionate romance." or if you ask me , there definitely aint going to be any romance without a good friendship. i would actually go as far as saying, that if i had a choice between good friendship or romance i would choose good friendship because good friendship can turn into romance, but romance without good friendship is not even worth the gas emitted from cholent beans.

Thursday, November 19, 2009

its not a set up

one really cant rely on others to find a zivug. a friend of mine recently started dating someone who is a an acquaintance . when i found out i actually felt bad that i hadn't thought of setting them up myself. i see them together now and i think that they make such a great couple . why hadn't i thought of it ? this is exactly why im so pro singles events, and dating sites . one can be pro-active. one doesn't have to rely on others to set them up. because frankly if you wouldn't try any direct venues of finding a match even one's best friend might not think of anyone for you even if they were standing right in front of them.

Wednesday, November 18, 2009

you just never know....

i love when the tv news interviews neighbors of a criminal and the neighbors say, " gee he was such a good neighbor, so quiet, would not have suspected a thing." one always assumes this is hogwash. or is it? unfortunately i have learned that this is not true. sometimes one finds out a friend or acquaintance has committed a serious crime and one would never have guessed that they would have. i think that part of the reason is that one would never suspect that anyone one knows could be capable a serious crime. guess again. it is possible. unfortunately.
a man who had done construction work for my grandparents years ago later committed a serious crime. one would have never thought it possible. he was so nice to my grandparents . unfortunately the man snapped and and the rest is history.
its such a crazy world. one just never knows....

Thursday, November 12, 2009

has anybody seen my hat?

the other day i was on the train and accidentally lost my hat. usually i take my hat off when i get on the train because its too darn warm and i put my hat in my backpack. on this particular day i was waayyyy too tired to do so. at some point i dropped my hat never to be seen again.
the thing that gets me is that whenever i notice that someone has dropped something on the train i tell them. in my case, no one did. perhaps no one noticed, perhaps someone noticed. ill never know. all i do know is that i lost my beloved crocheted hat that i made with my very own hands.
luckily i still had some red and white yarn sitting around, and whipped up a near identical hat.
why am i so upset? ill tell you why im so upset. i lost a hat i created and i wonder where it has gone. is someone else wearing it? did someone throw it out? did it totally get trampled? so many unanswered questions.
alas, i am glad i was able to crochet another red and white hat, but i really dug the old one and wish it was still in my possession!

Wednesday, November 11, 2009

classmates of anne frank

in commemoration of kristllnacht (november9-10 , 1938) the jcc of manhattan screened the documentary classmates of anne frank.
classmates of anne frank
was the brainchild of theo coster, a former classmate of anne frank's . theo coster and his wife ora are the creators of many delightful childrens games which include my personal favorite guess who.eyal boers, a family member of theo coster is the director.
though this film does not delve deeply into the specific horrors of the holocaust , it does make one feel the great loss of anne frank. one sees her eighty year old former schoolmates and she is not alive to reunite with them. you see they are vibrant seniors who despite all they have endured, have had families , careers and most of all long life. anne and so many other of their classmates did not. anne was a young lady with many friends and admirers and would be a bubbly bubby today if not for hitler and his nazis. the diary of anne frank is one of the most well read books in the world. imagine how many blockbusters she would have written had she survived.
one sees the triumph of spirit these classmates have .
ive often heard it said that anne frank might have had more of a will to live had she known her father was still alive. upon mention of this in this film , anne frank's former classmate nanette konig debunked this theory. anne died of typhus. whenever anyone had typhus in the camps that was it. it was too deadly. no matter how high one's spirits.
another myth is the passage of anne's diary where she says in the end she believes all people are really good at heart. as hanna goslar and nannette konig said separately THIS WAS BEFORE AUSCHWITZ.
many of anne franks former classmates speak the world over about the holocaust. they are pleased to be known as former classmates of anne frank.
after the film there was a question and answer session with the director eyal boers as well as the daughter of anne frank's former classmate nanette konig.
as a child i encountered many holocaust survivors. they were parents or grandparents of my classmates . a documentary like this one is very important. these elderly survivors are a bridge to the past . their stories are sad , yet so inspiring. i cant imagine a world without these individuals. films like this assure that their stories can be heard in their own voices for future generations.

Sunday, November 8, 2009

tweetup / blogger meet up

i went to the jewish tweetup /blogger meet up at 92y tribeca last wednesday.
when i first saw the event advertised by frumsatire on facebook, i wasnt sure if i even wanted to go. it would be fun to meet other bloggers, but did i want to blow my anonymity? would it make any difference to those who would meet me if i were no longer anonymous? would they even know i am a blogger anyway?
WELL ... i decided to go anyway. i figured chances were there would be so many people there that it wouldnt matter anyway....
there were not so many in attendance, but it was definitely quality above quantity..... though not a huge turnout, it was so social i didnt get a chance to chat with everyone!
moshe and his wife who i met months ago were there , heshy fried of frumsatire, wolfishmusings and jacobdajew, elisheva and her husband therealshliach, jacobdajew, and susanne were there. i met elke reva sudin of hipstersandhassids and her husband saul . i met itamar and metroimma. i also met sshriki who frequently comments on my blog.
it was cool to see those responsible for typing some of the blogs that i have read. there really werent enough people to make it too overwhelming.
it was kind of like a book event at barnes and noble for bloggers. someone was even on her computer during the event to make all of us bloggers feel at home. after all , stepping out of the computer into real life can be a bit daunting.

Tuesday, November 3, 2009

rock the vote

yes i admit that for someone who didnt even realize that there was going to be an election until last week that 'rock the vote' is quite an interesting title for this post! no matter. i might not have realized that there was going to be an election, but that does not mean that i dont think that it is important to vote.
i voted this morning at my most favorite time - 6:30 a.m. this is before work. i don't like having to stand in line to vote and usually if you vote this early in the morning there is not a line.
when i grow up i want to be one of those senior citizens who work at the polling centers. they look like they are having so much fun .
i used to go to the polls at 6:00 a.m. when they allegedly open. no more. at 6:00 a.m. the employed seniors are just trying to remember what the procedures are. i could vote that early but im not too confident my vote will actually count at that hour. by 6:30 everything is usually up and running so i feel safe to vote.
i don't know about you , but i always seem to misplace the orange or yellow postcard which tells me which election district i am in. i usually have to look up my voter registration online. i always remember where im supposed to vote. when i asked the senior at the polling center which area of the building i needed to go to to vote she told me that she thought i was in the wrong polling center. but of course. eventually i found the correct area to go to . i knew i was in the right place because i saw the same senior from last year manning the election booth.
i love the fact that new york still has the old fashioned voting booths. they are so cool. no chads to deal with either. its also good because this way the seniors who run the polls don't have to deal with any new fangled technology.
there is always so much drama during the voting process that i almost forget to find out who won!

Monday, November 2, 2009

a serious man?

the only thing serious about this movie is its title. it is a coen brothers film about a jewish physics professor named larry gopnick who is black mailed , has marital strife and and various eccentric family members. the jewish week likens larry gopnick to a modern day job. i say they are giving this film too much credit. this is a film that is one note more serious than an adam sandler movie.
the film begins with larry's 12 yr old son in hebrew school. he is close to bar mitzvah. the funniest scenes are those with the hebrew school teachers and children.
the film seems to be depicting reform jews in 1967 who seem to know a heck of alot more about judaism than most reform jews know. granted this is 1967, not 2007, but the characters are constantly referring to g-d as hashem, and ive never met a reform jew who would ever do this let alone actually know that hashem meant g-d. several of the rabbis in the film do not wear kippot in the tradition of reform jews of that era. the rabbis were portrayed in seinfeldian tradition. because they were sooo cartoonish you couldnt be too insulted by how absurd they behaved. i wish i knew more about reform judaism because i think i was missing out on some of the jokes.
as usual when i watch a movie with more authentic jewish references i find myself the only person in the audience laughing. often the hebrew/yiddish terms were not translated. the barmitzvah boy had a friend named he kept calling faigel. turns out the kids last name really was faigel. it took me awhile to figure this out . i kept thinking he was making fun of his friend. this of course was an inside joke for those in the know because it was never explained. i of course was the only one laughing about this one. there were other instances too, but i dont want to give them away if you decide to see the movie.
there is strife between larry and his wife who is carrying on with a homely widower 20 years her senior. one would be offended by the wife's overdone stereotypical jewish wife behavior, but she was so over the top one could not help but just laugh.
this is one of those few movies where actual jewish actors were used to portray jews.
after all of the comical strife that befalls larry gopnick the film has the most perfect ending. i will not tell you what it is, but i loved it.
this movie is most definitely not the the story of a modern day job. its much too over the top .
entertainment weekly said and and i concur that the idea of this movie is to show how jews of the 1960's thought they were so assimilated, but really they weren't. the way they showed this was by the inappropriately frum jargon the characters used by reform jewish characters. i find this especially interesting because more yiddish would have been used if this film were more authentic to the time period. more hebrew was used due to the lack of fluency in yiddish of the current young movie going audience.
a serious man was not the dark film i thought i was going to be. i didnt want to actually like it, it just worked out that way.

Saturday, October 31, 2009

that's so bald!

when i was in college when someone wanted to say something was stupid, they would say it was so bald. im not exactly sure how the term was coined, but i always found it funny.
some women i know say they specifically do not want to date bald men. im not sure why. so long as a guy has a nice face, who cares. alot of men go bald with age anyway. if you meet him when he's already bald then there is no surprise as to what he will look like if he goes bald. he's already bald.
obviously a guy with hair is preferable , but im sure alot of guys would prefer a girl with modelsque looks instead of the average usuals, but we all have to be realistic.
the bald not bald dilemma does change with age. when you're 20 most men in their early twenties have hair. there might be a little bit receding there, but usually there's hair.
by late twenties , early thirties alot of guys , especially jewish guys, start to lose it. they become very self conscious about it. some bald guys even bring pictures of themselves when they had hair to show me on a first date. big no-no.
my favorite is watching television with guys who actually have hair but its starting to recede. they will see an actor who has alot of hair and comment on what great hair he has. funny thing is , it would never have crossed my mind to mention said actor's hair. it just takes an envious guy to notice this.
dating a bald guy vs dating a guy with hair on his head is a non-issue to me. baldness is just a physical attribute, its not a personality trait or defect. there are so MANY other more serious issues to ponder in dating and baldness should not be one of them.

Friday, October 30, 2009

the crying game

im a very sensitive person. sometimes im overcome by emotion and i actually cry. its quite embarrassing. the worst time to cry is at work. sometimes im really angry but instead of shouting, tears flow . i know that im not the only work crier. ive seen others cry at work. work crying really sucks. you think you are in control , but then you cry. because work is stressful its hard to stop that crying once its begun. ive read in some women's magazines that crying at work is a big no-no. well duh! no one actually wants to cry at work. it just happens.
nyc is a tough place for a crier to live. people who drive everywhere can cry in their cars when overcome by emotion. in new york when one has a crappy day one can cry publicly on the subway platform. mostly people just ignore the crier. hell , its new york. watching someone cry is the least weird thing one hopes will happen on the subway platform. its still quite embarrassing. occasionally a sympathetic soul has offered me a tissue. that's always nice. fortunately they never have asked me why i was crying. too personal. the tissue gifter doesn't want to know and frankly sometimes talking about why im crying makes me want to cry more.
as much as im embarrassed that im a crier, i do believe that its better than ignoring my feelings altogether. one cant confront ones issues of sadness if one cant admit one is sad.
that said, im equally able to laugh as to cry, so it cant be all bad.

Wednesday, October 28, 2009

new york state of mind

living in new york is a weird experience. when i lived in the midwest no one would revel in living in the midwest or talk about the midwest like an actual being. in new york, new york is a being. its a topic . sometimes its nice to leave new york because one does not have to constantly hear people speak about new york and new yorkers. its a very egocentric existence. its almost as if new york is a country instead of a state.
after 9/11 people would talk about the devastation as if it it only affected new york and new yorkers. a major part of the devastation happend here , but it really happend to the united states not just to new york city and the tri-state area.

Monday, October 26, 2009


im embarrassed to be asking this question, but heck, im going to ask anyway. are the new york mayorial elections really on november 3 ? ive been busy recovering from yom tov that ive completely forgotten about it. i know bloomberg is running, but who is the other candidate? attention nyc readers, please help me out with this one!!!

Sunday, October 25, 2009

for better or for worse

the only issue that men have worse than women in dating is the height issue. short women have an easier time finding a spouse than a short man. however, this issue is only equal to the beauty discrepancy between men and women. a beautiful woman will date an ugly man. even an ugly man will not likely date an ugly woman.
the second place position where men could have it worse is parnassah. if a man is unstable in the money making department he wont get very far. less men are concerned with how wealthy their future spouse is (unless of course he is jobless and then he cares very much), so a womans wealth is less important.
THATS IT. i suppose the height issue is worse than the parnassah issue. one can change ones employment status, but one cant change ones height.
i still dont pity short men. nothing trumps the age issue . women always have it worse. even an old man wants a much younger woman. a short man can wear platform shoes. no one can actually get younger.

Saturday, October 24, 2009

a healthy substitute

im not vegan, but i hate recipes that call for eggs. i use two eggs, and then the egg carton just sits there. im not a big egg eater. i like to sprinkle milled flax seed onto yogurt. its good for omega 3 and fiber. well.... lo and behold on the package of milled flax seed it says that you can substitute i tbsp of milled flax seed and 3 tablespoons of water instead of an egg. ive tried it several times. i made muffins and a duncan hines mix with this substitution . both came out great.

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

kid stuff

i know that time marches on and as one gets older one has to be open to dating someone who has kids. this concept never thrills me because though ive always wanted to have kids of my own, i always wanted to have them after at least nine months of marriage, not at the first day of marriage. aside from numerous other considerations in this department the one thing that always throws me for a loop is this one. WHAT do you do if you're dating someone with a kid and they show you their childs photo and you just think they are just so (fill in the blank) and you dont think that you could relate to them? i realize that this is just a picture and though worth a thousand works it doesnt necessary portray the best image of said child, but still. even if i might really like the guy im always thinking, sheesh i hope his genetics arent real strong. this kid is ugly as sin, snotty, jappy, chutzpadick, etc. you pick your character defect. once this did happen to me but the relationship didnt last long enough for this to be a problem. the thing is it did make me wonder what would have happened if it would have progressed further. would it have progressed further? could i have gotten past this ? would i want a kid who would look and act like this spawn? its hard to know for sure. when someone has a kid they are a stronger part of them than their future intended. so you really gotta like this kid. or ditch the relationship.

i never really dated anyone with kids for all that long for me to have to really face this issue, its just something i ponder every so often.

Monday, October 19, 2009


one thing i can never get used to is the propensity of many frum jewish families in new york who yell at each other non-stop. its not that they are always angry with each other, its just their normal mode of speaking. being originally from the midwest, it makes me feel like my blood pressure is rising just listening to them.
i used to go to a few screaming mimi families for shabbos. no more. they were nice sincere people, but by the time i left their homes i would be shaking from the high decibel level of their voices.
at work there are a few screaming mimis. for the most part i try to tune them out ( not very easy) but when things naturally get stressful it becomes harder to tune them out.
just today a screaming mimi was shouting for me with the intensity of a 9/11 firefighter on the 88th floor of the world trade center. of course screaming mimis are like peter and the wolf. they are always crying wolf . when confronted they never realize that their decibel level is capable of upping their co-workers blood pressure medication . i keep hoping screaming mimi gets a severe case of laryngitis asap . if not, im going to have to invest in a good pair of earplugs soon!

Sunday, October 18, 2009


i think everyone's mother has told them to just be oneself when dating and someone will love us for who we are. easier said than done. ever the crowd pleaser, its easy to figure out what someone else likes and try to be it. the problem is if what someone else wants in a prospective date isnt what one is and one tries to be this just to please the other. not good. its hard being honest and really being oneself. its hard to find out that when one is ones true self someone else may not like them. if things dont work out and one wasnt ones true self it doesnt really soften the blow anyway. not only has one been dumped, but one has been dumped for being someone one never was in the first place.
this is a maxim ive learned long ago, but i still find it a challenge. its hard if im rejected for being my true self, but its equally stinging to be rejected for pretending to be someone im not.
thankfully ive had several relationships with those who have gotten to know the true me so i know that its possible . i also have learned that though things may not have worked out the way i would have wanted them to i realized that my real self is likable. and its so much better to be honestly oneself . acceptance is so important. without it there is no relationship. if one isnt oneself in a relationship one cant be accepted by the other person .

Friday, October 16, 2009

scratchy situations

we all get annoyed with friends and often part ways. its all a part of life. it sucks, but it happens. what happens afterward is the true test of one's humanity. just because i may have unfriended battle ax doesnt mean that everyone else has. or worse battle ax may have unfriended me and everyone else hasnt yet been undfriended by battle ax.
when i see someone unfriending a friend of mine, unless i have reason to unfriend them, i will still be friends with the unfriended. sometimes people cant make peace with one another but that doesnt mean that i have to follow their lead.
when i have been the unfriended it becomes a whole other ball of wax. i always hope that the remaining friends have my attitude of not dumping a friend just because one of my friends have dumped them. i also know that im not one of the lucky ones who always gets defended when dumped upon so i give up on anyone defending me. my philosophy is that people are idiots and you'll be friends with no one if you hold people up to too high a standard. even i have my limits, but i usually can deal. i also know that even though i may not be defended, the unjust dumper wont be able to convince others not to be friends with me. eventually unjust dumpers will dump everyone and be left to stew in their own juices anyway.
ive been in many uncomfortable situations and usually even if i dont prefer a particular person who is present i try to be civil. its bettter if things dont escalate to the uncomfortable. not because i care a wink about the those who i dislike, its just that id rather not feel uncomfortable when im trying to enjoy a social situation.

Sunday, October 11, 2009

too much yom tov

i think im all yom toved out! i was in shul today and read a placard that said " he who saves a single soul its as if he has saved an entire world." and i thought it said "he who saves a single's soul its as if he's saved an entire world." end the madness now!!!

Friday, October 9, 2009

a new approach

many cringe when they see lubavitchers approaching . i suggest rethinking this gut reaction. lubavitchers go out of their way to speak to jews who do not look exactly as they do. this is a good thing. often the unaffiliated jew becomes self-hating. this especially occurs while trying to fit in with the secular world. this is extremely dangerous. it is important for all of us who are observant to make sure those who are not affiliated feel welcome. this does not necessarily mean trying to convert them to be exactly like us. we just need to make sure they do not feel alienated from the greater jewish culture/religion. they need to feel like judaism can be an option for them . the door is still open.
one may not want to be as daring as the lubavitcher, but one has to respect their tenacity and ahavas yisroel that many other jews do not have.
hitler hated jews because of our association with judaism. let us learn to appreciate our judaism and our fellow jews. without having to have some rasha point it out. no one should feel abandoned.
chag sameach!

Wednesday, October 7, 2009

no good deed goes unpunished

there is no justice in this world. no, i havent just figured this out. its just been getting to me lately.
if you are a good worker and you slip up one time you are held under a microscope for your actions. if you are a lousy worker no one thinks much of it. after all what can one expect. it definitly pays to be the outlaw.
there are alot of cool simchas bais hashoavah parties for chozrei b'tshuvah. these parties like to ban the frumahs. the frummies could be a bad influence on the brain washing. there arent any cool parties for the already frum . they should not have been born frum, then they would be admitted to the cool parties.
i unfortunately have a very vapid family member who unjustly is defended for their actions more than i ever have been or ever will be by my family. this is precisely because they are so vapid. instead of simple validation for being disgusted with such frivolity this gets defended and those of good character are forced to hear the praises of those who are bottomless pits of attention sapping. it pays to be a b@#$@h.
after all.... no good deed goes unpunished....

Monday, October 5, 2009


a few years ago my co-worker and i were chatting and we realized that our rich bosses who grew up rich were missing one very important attribute. STRAIGHT TEETH. all that money and yet their rich parents did not give them braces. as someone who wore braces for three years and who has four siblings and two parents who also wore braces i find this appalling! i always thought that the quest for straight teeth was a jewish rite of passage! alot of brooklyn-jews also lack the we're jewish we must have straight teeth gene.
over yom tov i was chatting with a cute guy and i kept thinking that though he was cute there was just something.... something that was amiss. ... he had the most crooked teeth. i cant explain it , but it really irks me. ..
i know that braces cost money, but so does dental work for crooked teeth- for all of the cavities that grow under crooked teeth. i have several friends who wore braces as young adults and now they have beautifully straight teeth.
i have dated guys who obviously did not have braces as teens but its often very hard to get past . i know that its shallow of me, but i just have a thing for straightened teeth...

Friday, October 2, 2009

tishrei blues

when the goyim talk about the holiday season its a joke. its two days . x-mas and new years. and if you want to count thanksgiving day its three days. big whoop. they are depressed and on the brink of suicide over three days. well the goyim have nothing on us jews. we have a holiday MONTH. tishrei. there's a good reason judaism isnt a missionary religion. jews tend to have a corner on mental illness to begin with, but the christian converts would not be able to handle a month of yom tov!
but seriously folks, i like the jewish holiday season of tishrei, but it can be a bit depressing for us single folk. the torah reading on rosh hashanah can really depress us single chics . if chana and sarah were so beloved and yet they had troubles having kids whats in store for us regular people? ive always heard that hashem loves to hear the davening of tzadikim and this is why they are always tested. well... enough tests. i dont think i can take any more of this.
the holiday season lightens up tonight when sukkot begins. another holiday to remind me i have no on to spend it with... and next week is simchas torah. unless one is on the upper west side this is no holiday for single women. the hakafot are really boring in brooklyn unless i have a few good friends to schmooze with.
well folks ... there is always next year... until then have a happy tishrei and a joyous sukkot!

Sunday, September 27, 2009

yom kippur

so yom kippur is upon us. its raining now in brooklyn. does this means that we are all noshers?(like if it rains on one's wedding day it means the bride is a nosher?) i hope not, since we will all be fasting this evening. at work people always ask me why jewish people have a day of atonement. is it because we have so much to atone for? i say that its a day for us to review our actions and improve ourselves. yom kippur is really a gift. hashem is giving us a chance to improve ourselves yearly. hashem doesnt want to punish us , therefore he gives us a set time to do teshuva. structure is good. this way we are forced to reflect. perhaps this year jewish people have alot to reflect upon. alot of teshuva to be done. if we just make the effort perhaps life will be better for us this year. perhaps there will be no more bernie madoffs, no rabbis selling body parts, no terror attacks in israel or india. i have to believe that teshuva and prayer help and that there is hativkah/hope.
have an easy fast and a meaningful yom kippur.

Friday, September 25, 2009

midwood memories

i like to kvetch about midwood as much as the best of them, but not today. i dont go to shul for shacharis every morning, but this year since elul, as ive been running to work every morning ive heard the shofar blowing from the shuls i pass by . no im not hearing things. this is midwood after all! im not sure why i hadnt noticed it before other years. i find it really cool.

Wednesday, September 23, 2009

tznuis overload

when the extra-long skirts were in vogue i remember hearing people say that they werent tznius. to be fair id heard this said before the extra-long skirt was in fashion. lately ive heard that its not tznuis to wear a long sleeved shirt under a short-sleeved or sleeveless dress . i suppose this is because ones eyes may focus on the less-sleeved portion of the dress instead of the fact the woman's arms are completely covered.
on some level i understand these chumrahs. whenever i used to see girls wearing the extra-long straight skirts i had to take a double take. i often thought these very frum-faced girls were wearing slacks. then again, its a shame that when long skirts are actually in style there is someone trying to think up a way not to enjoy it. with the layered look its tempting to do away with the extra layer and feel a little bad that one has to layer the dress to be tznius enough. then again, why should someone not be able to wear a long sleeved shirt under a pretty dress to make it tznius? can one only be tzanuah if one is a fashion dont ? is it better to feel bad because one cant wear a pretty sleeveless dress or is it better to make lemonade and wear a layer under it and make it tznius? anyway, lots of secular females wear t-shirts under sundresses and other sleeveless dresses because even secular woman feel more modest with another layer.
i do find it funny to see frum women wear long sleeves under a strapless dress, but then again at least they are trying to make the laws of tznius work for them instead of giving up on tznius . sometimes the high road is not so easy to follow. sometimes you have to take the middle road.... or bail!

Monday, September 21, 2009

scary messy

we all know the definition of neat, but what exactly constitutes too messy? how messy does one have to be to be considered scary messy?
messy is piles of papers all over but no apple cores on the floor or food anywhere outside of the fridge or kitchen cabinets unless one is eating a meal. food or goopy dirt everywhere constitutes dirty.
i am not as neat as i would like to be, but ive seen other friends' housekeeping skills and id say many have apartments that make me feel like im in my own home. i have never gotten so out of control that i would not invite a friend over.
scary messy is yet another level. its the level where one never lets anyone, not even close friends, into one's apartment. i suspect that i have a few friends or acquaintances who keep house scary messy because they will never let anyone besides themselves see the walls of their abode. heck, they know how i dont keep house. if they are still embarrassed for me to see their dwelling, well they are indeed scary messy housekeepers.
though i will never have a home as organized as martha stewart, i will say when im most at peace with the world my apartment is more organized. when im less enthused with life, my organizational skills peter out. much as i hate to admit it, this connection exists. this is why i pity the scary messy so. they are so far gone in more ways than one that their homes become scary messy. they are too weak to clean up after themselves, but have enough self respect not to invite anyone else into their mishmash.

all the lonely people...

the beatles had a song about all the lonely people... im thinking about it now because i know several eccentric lonely singles who met untimely deaths. its just so sad. they had such deep underlying psychological issues that made them so eccentric. though deep down one realized these singles had such deep-seated issues it was hard to internalize.when one heard of their untimely passing, it became all too apparent. we wished it wasnt so , but alas it was. some we could have helped had we not been in such denial , but for others there was no way we could have known the intensity of their illnesses. we havent (bh) known such turmoil so we would not have noticed these deficits in others.
hopefully those tormented souls are able to rest in peace now that they are in the next world , because in this world they knew no rest.

Friday, September 18, 2009

shanah tovah

i wish all of you a shanah tovah and a k'tivah v'chatimah tovah! speak to all of you next year!!

Thursday, September 17, 2009

superpower meme

mike has tagged me in his superpower meme . he says he thinks that i have a superpower for reviewing books and critiquing movies. why thank you mike. i love books and movies and i enjoy having the opportunity to share my viewpoints on them with others. if this is a superpower i have, i would like to choose a superpower that i do not possess so i have something to covet.
now if i had to choose a superpower, what would it be??? well i certainly wouldnt want to read minds . i dont really want to know others thoughts unless they want to share them. im not that big of a yenta.
though i hate surprises i would not want to have the power to tell the future. i would not want to know about ills that will befall society unless i would have the superpower to change them.
i wouldnt want the power to make people rich. money makes the world go round, but it doesnt necessarily make one sameach b'chelko.
i would like to have the power to have a positive impact on others. not exactly a superpower, but a power no less. i hope to have a meaningful life and to share what i have experienced as well as what i will experience and hopefully enhance others with my contribution . i think that every person has the power to make the world a better place , i would like try to do this. if i could really change the world for the better even if it was ever so slightly, i will feel as though i have achieved alot. that would make me feel as powerful as wonder woman.
  1. read the rules
  2. write one super power you would like to have and what you would do with it.
  3. write why you chose that superpower over everything else
  4. tag and link 7 people and write why they would have an interesting meme.
  5. fix your broken links
parentheses - because she has a lot of great insight she will make a great superpower meme.
katrina will make a great superpower meme because she is very practical and analytical so it will be fun to see her tackle fantasy.
web girl because she is one of my favorite bloggers and id love to hear what superpower she would choose.
talia beacause she has a great blog and doesnt often get tagged for memes.
profk because she is a crusader of causes which is somewhat like a superpower.
frum punk because he is imaginative so i think he would make a great superpower meme.
levadi because it would be interesting to see what superpower she would choose to help her find her bashert. also , she doesnt write often enough, so perhaps being tagged for a meme would prompt her to write more.

i would also like to that singleonthescene for tagging me. i dont recall being tagged multiple times for a meme. its a great honor. thanks mike and single on the scene!!

this was a most unusual meme. it challenged me to think much more other memes. thanks mike.

Wednesday, September 16, 2009


for the most part people are who they are unless they make an effort to change . even then their internal tendencies are still there, its just up to us to decide which direction we channel them.
someone who is very excitable will likely always be this way unless he retrains himself to react differently and even then his first reaction might be to fly off the handle. he could also use his excitability to aid those who need a voice but are too quiet to voice them . they could be a public advocate since they well know how to criticize authority.
a very jappy girl might always want to wear chanel , but know she is not able to afford such luxury so she's merely a gap jap. this desire for the very best is not necessarily a bad thing. one could use this tendency to provide quality clothing for the poor so they will be presentable for job interviews.
i think that the idea of changing one's shortcomings into assets is what it means to do teshuva. one may not be able to change core personality traits, but one is capable of controlling how one uses them.

Sunday, September 13, 2009

why be jewish?

often when jewish people are confronted by sincere converts to judaism they ask they "WHY would you want to convert" after all its no easy task to be jewish even if one is not observant. i think that a convert makes people turn inward and access ones own connection to judaism. it is different to have chosen to be jewish as opposed to being born jewish .when one is born jewish one can decide how jewish one wants to be but the pintele yid will always be there no matter what . a convert always must uphold his judaism to prove he really is a member of the tribe.
as a person who was born jewish i cant imagine being anything but jewish. christianity and islam dont interest me. if i wouldnt be jewish i wouldnt be any religion. but would i choose judaism? i dont know. its so hard to ask oneself a question that is so hypothetical that i cant be unbiased in my answer.
though i find this question so hard to answer i will also say that since i am jewish i cant imagine not being frum. it is so much a part of who i am. i have friends who have gone off the derech who think not being frum would bring me more dates. of course they arent frum but they dont have as many dates as i do. the truth is for my off the derech friends, not being frum is so much a part of who they are. it really has nothing to do with whether or not they think they will find a relationship. its just how they feel most comfortable. alas ... we all have to do what is best for us. which bring me back to the converts who make us contemplate our relationship with hashem. why be jewish? well because it is what we feel is right for us. or at the very least what i think is right for me.

Saturday, September 12, 2009


im embarrassed to say that i almost forgot it was 9/11 yesterday and by the time i remembered it was too late to post about it, so im posting about it today. perhaps its a good thing that i forgot to blog about it. perhaps it means some of the pain has gone away. i dont mean to say that i shouldn't be sad that 9/11 happened or that so many were murdered, but i do think that the memory doesnt need to remain a fresh wound.
i did watch some of the memorial ceremony that was held at the wtc site. it still makes me cry. i think that the rainy weather was appropriate.
9/11 was one of the scariest days of my life . though i was in manhattan at the time, b"h i was not in downtown manhattan when it occurred. one could see the smoke from the upper east side where i was at the time. that was bad enough. watching the footage on the television at work was surreal. at first when i saw the second plane hit it did not even register. when the first tower fell i felt like i was punched in the stomach. when i heard about the plane that hit in washington i felt immobile. and of course the final blow was when some kook told me that they thought it was great because now america knows how israel feels, i was ready to kill them on the spot . here i am reeling from the scariest attack on the united states and someone is happy about it. some people just don't get the point. terror attacks should not happen ANYWHERE EVER. and just because a terror attack happend here it doesn't mean that anti-semites will suddenly identify with the israelis.
may the memory of those who perished during 9/11 be a blessing . peace on earth . shalom .

Friday, September 11, 2009

eighty is the new 120

for the past ten years ive been hearing that 40 is the new 30 . so does this mean that 30 is the new twenty? is 80 the new 120? these are all great pickup lines (take note guys) but is this really true? alot of single men over 35 act like they are a young 75.
i think that people in their thirties and forties today are experiencing a longer period of delayed adolescence than those who were in their thirties and forties twenty years ago. these days people get married later and have kids later extending the less fettered by responsibilities mindset previously reserved to those in their early twenties.
people these days tend to take better care of themselves than people twenty years ago, hence the more youthful appearance.
ive always had older relatives who were young at heart so im not sure what all the commotion is about. its all about one's mindset. always has been, always will be.
hopefully this new youthful attitude revolution will continue. its no fun being around 28 year olds who kvetch about their aches and pains more than grandma moses.

Monday, September 7, 2009

autumn in new york...

labor day marks the end of summer.... the beginning of a new school year... though i havent been in school for more years than i would care to count, labor day still marks the beginning of a new year and the end of summer. my birthday being august 30 as well as rosh hashannah being soon definitely contribute to this feeling. stifling weather ends and the cool air of fall arrives. though these past few days have been pleasantly fallish, i do realize that summer is not totally finished, its just that i so love fall that im in a hurry for it to begin.

Sunday, September 6, 2009


i finally did it. i broke down and bought a kindle. i bought it for my birthday . i do admit that i felt a bit extravagant buying it. so far i do like it. i visited my parents last week and it was very convenient to have on the plane ride. it is different than reading from a book but i would say its good different, not bad different. all books are not available on the kindle yet, but most new ones are. i would imagine that eventually many more books will be available on the kindle once people adjust to the new technology.
i love conventional books, but i dont have enough room for all of the books i love on my bookshelves. keeping books on a kindle maximizes space and saves trees. i wont miss conventional books, because i will still be reading them on shabbos . shabbos lamps have been created but not shabbos kindles. yet....

Sunday, August 30, 2009

happy birthday to me

it was my birthday today. alot has happened between this birthday and last birthday. im definitely in a much better place this year than i was last year. this actual birthday was alot better than last year's . my last actual birthday was a downer, but thankfully it was not a sign of what was yet to come.
birthdays always make me ruminate about the things ive accomplished in life versus the things id like to achieve. i often get stuck on the things ive yet to achieve. i guess its human nature. if i was a more competitive person this might challenge me, instead im often immobilized by it. the thing is, having things to look forward to means one is still alive. this is always a good thing. life truly is a state of renovation and reinvention. stagnation is death. thus i try the best i can to muddle through and be positive.
on my birthday i am always grateful for my close friends and for my family who without them i would not be able to survive. life is such a gift and i try to savor every moment. no matter how old i may think i am now i know that thirty years from now i will look at pictures of myself from today and wish i looked as i do now.

Wednesday, August 26, 2009

inglourious basterds

i saw the movie inglourious basterds last night. im not usually a quentin tarantino fan, but i really enjoyed this movie.
inglourious basterds is a movie about a young woman trying to survive nazi france and avenge her family's murder and a vengeful motley crew of jewish american soldiers led by decidedly non-jewish , southern brad pitt who try to kill as many nazis as possible.
this movie is a jewish fantasy of what we wish we could have done to the nazis.
time out magazine suggested that it was perhaps too brutal for the jews to avenge nazis so brutally. i say poppycock! this movie is tame compared to what those basterds did to the jews.
the nazi folly in this movie is reminiscent of hogan's heroes. the balance between comedy and drama is delicately meted out.
though close to three hours long, it was not boring. i didnt even realize that much time had elapsed. i thoroughly recommend this movie.

Monday, August 24, 2009

another monday night of take out

i know ive made this rant before, but tonight it warrants repeating. i just cant take it. since i live in midwood where mountain fruit and glatt mart close before i get home from work on monday nights i spent twenty minutes waiting in line at jerusalem steakhouse for my dinner. apparently everyone but me eats cholent leftovers on mondays because the stores close before eight o'clock which is when i get home on mondays. the five others who ran out of leftover cholent were at jerusalem steakhouse on avenue m waiting for their dinners. i gotta get a job where i get home at six o'clock so i dont have to buy take out on mondays. either that or i have to cut out some of my sunday fun and make sure i have enough food for dinner on monday night. sheesh. the life of a single person.

Sunday, August 23, 2009

the signs are on the lampposts

i usually dont pay much attention to lamppost signs, but this one was a doozy. i dont remember the exact words, but basically it said that some bochur who wants to get married and have a family needs our help because he needs some procedure. dont get me wrong, everyone who is having a medical problem deserves to have help, but because they are human and deserve to be in proper health, not because they want to get married and have a family. if he was elderly would he not deserve to be well? if he never will have children, doesnt he still deserve to be well? i do hope this young man gets whatever help he needs, but not just because he wants to get married and have a family. will people only have pity on a sick person if they want to get married and have a family? i somehow think that the torah does not make that kind of stipulation.
i dont remember whether i saw that lamppost in boro park or flatbush, but im pretty sure that i saw it on avenue j last night. scary....

Friday, August 21, 2009

summer and psoriasis

the only two things i like about summer are wearing sandals and the fact that there are alot of free events in new york in the summer, otherwise im really not a fan. every summer my psoriasis gets worse. this year it wasn't as bad as it could have been because it wasn't as scorching as usual.
compared to many who have psoriasis my case is not so bad. its all relative. even if its not so bad its not so good either. this year i had the honor of having psoriasis on my right eyelid. let me tell you its not too cute. i looked like someone had socked me in the eye. whenever psoriasis manifests in the eye area it is on my right eye. when i get migraines the pain is greatest behind my right eye. i wonder what that means?
ive been tempted just to stay holed up at home weekends so i wouldn't have to deal with the pitying looks of friends as they ask me what is wrong with my eyelid. if i would stay home my eyelid skin would be all id obsess about. this is why i go out anyway. for sanity's sake.
finally the medication kicked in and my lid is starting to look and feel more normal. bh. when its bad my upper lid looks very dry and wrinkly which scares me.when it first happened i was afraid it would stay that wrinkly. it did not . it went away.
even if my hands get a little dry in the winter its nothing compared to the itchy mayhem i experience in the summer before the drugs kick in and give me relief.
i cant wait until fall which is my favorite season. fall weather is cooler. my skin itches less and its not as hot so i can breathe.

Wednesday, August 19, 2009

vanity of the eyelash

the latest mishigas is long eyelashes. brooke sheilds has them! how did she get them? with latisse. latisse is made out of the glaucoma drop lumagen and repackaged as a lash enhancing drop. when will the vanity end? long eyelashes are an unexpected perk for those who chas v'shalom have glaucoma, but to use a glaucoma drop when one doesnt have glaucoma to achieve long lashes? is this really a necessity? what are the long term effects on someone using latisse if they dont have glaucoma? will it accelerate ones chances of actually getting glaucoma? lumagen can cause green eyes to go brown. is this a possible side effect of latisse? how much does someone want long lashes for someone to take this risk?
my mom unfortunately has glaucoma. she uses lumagen and has blue-gray eyes that b"h are still blue-gray. though she has amazing eyelashes , she would trade them for not having glaucoma. lush as mom's lashes are, she still wears mascara when she goes out.
these days there are alot of good volumizing mascaras out there. lashblast by covergirl, colossal volume by maybelliene and 2000 calorie by max factor are all fabulous . they are also all drugstore brands. latisse is $120 dollars a month. do the math. why use a medication for something that can be achieved merely with makeup?

Saturday, August 15, 2009


i saw the movie hes just not that into you a few months ago. drew barrymore wines that in this day in age one checks their e-mail, cellphone messages , text messages as well as her old-fashioned landline answering machine just to find she has been rejected by so many versions of technology. rejection still stings the old fashioned way no matter which technology gives us the ax. too bad technology cant alleviate heartbreak.

Wednesday, August 12, 2009

under lock and key

on sunday while i was flipping through some cool books at urban outfitters i came across a book of postcards. one of the postcards really struck a chord. here goes: ' i ran away when you tried to find the key to my heart and i found someone else who will never want to find it. '
i pray that this will never be my postcard. relationships can be scary especially if i like someone, but i hope i am brave enough to face the challenge.

Tuesday, August 11, 2009


when i was walking down fifth avenue today a black man approached me and asked me for tzedakah . yes, and he used the word tzedakah. then he said to me " come on, just put some money in the pushkah. its a mitzvah. its a mitzvah." i burst out laughing . it was the funniest thing ive ever heard. he was one of those dudes from the united homeless organization who position themselves all over manhattan with their plastic jugs that say UHO. as i was laughing the man continued to say that he does his research, he knows his people. i usually dont pay much attention to these beggars, but he was so original i just had to. i even gave him a dollar. i wish id taken his photo. too bad. even without a picture this episode is forever etched in my memory as one of those "only in new york" moments.

Monday, August 10, 2009

we are living in a jaded universe.

i'd like to take a moment to say that it really stinks that there are so very many jaded people out there these days. its not just the people older than me, its also those my junior. there is very little optimism, just alot of acceptance of a bleak life sentence.

Sunday, August 9, 2009

defining moments

the first day of school, bar/bat mitzvahs, weddings, moving into a new house, graduation day, first day at a new job, are all defining moments in a person's life. these are clearly defined moments in life. sometimes there are defining moments one has that at the time one doesnt realize how great an impact they will have on one's life.
after college i lived in kew gardens in hills for about a year. one afternoon i was walking down main street and i just happened to run into a friend from college i hadnt seen in a few years. by then she had gotten married and was back from a year in israel with her husband. now we are still in touch. to me this was a defining moment because had we not run into each other at that exact space in time we may not have still been in touch now.
i went to a party seven years ago and met a lot of new people . i met a few guys there that i later ended up having relationships with at different times during these past seven years. at the time it was just a party. a few friends of mine had moved out of their parents house and it was their first apartment. it was their first party . i guess for them it was a defining moment . in another way it was a defining moment for me . a moment which at the time seemed just average, but turned out not being very average at all.
over the years i have had dead-weight friends who i was just too polite to get rid of . i would try to ignore them and perhaps they would go away. needless to say that was not enough. once i was discussing this dilemma with a friend who straight out said"why are you still friends with x? get rid of people like that in your life. they just weigh you down!" and i did. ive never looked back..... this was a major defining moment in my life. i cant be so polite to someone else that im making myself miserable!
there are so many moments that have transformed and shaped my life. too many to count. sometimes i can look back and identify them. more often i cannot.

Wednesday, August 5, 2009

flash without substance.

often when dating i find that who i think the person is initially does not match who they become once i get to know him. someone homely can become an adonis and a total hottie can evolve into ugly as sin. and of course there are many levels in between. often someone can sport a particular persona when in a group while one on one they can be the opposite. ive met alot of guys like this. at first they seem very convivial, and then you spend time with them and their true nature is that of a depressed dodo. there are alot of guys who have alot of flash without substance. they seem interesting, but after spending quality time with them i have found that they possess zero quality. once in awhile i find someone who is more solid. someone who has strength of character. the search continues!

Sunday, August 2, 2009

seven things i love

ive been tagged by the jewish side of the babysitter in a meme seven things i love . at the end i will tag seven other bloggers.
  1. i love fall weather
  2. i love book readings and especially love celebrity book readings
  3. i love photography
  4. i love meeting new people
  5. i love blogging
  6. i love when i have friends who really know and understand who i am and i know and understand who they are.
  7. i love walking through central park in the spring and summer.
im now tagging seven people: mike, katrina, mak,quack, levadi, brainexposed, dys

Friday, July 31, 2009

laundry woes

post tisha b'av i am always confronted with the laundry issue. how soon can i do it and how big of a zoo is it going to be in the laundry room in my 90% frum apartment building? usually the day after tisha b'av is a day i have work so its not as big of an issue. by the time i can do my laundry everyone else has done theirs. this year was different because i didnt have work today which is the day after tisha b'av. ive always thought that the halacha was that you couldnt do laundry after chatzot the day after tisha b'av because the the bais hamikdash was still burning on the tenth of av.normally this isnt an issue for me because i usually work the day after tisha b'av so i wouldnt be doing laundry until after chatzot anway. this year was different.
after much internal debate, i decided to do my laundry this morning early early because later today it will be a big zoo in the laundry room. though a little embarrassed to be doing laundry early early because it was before chatzot, i figured id do it anyway, who would see me? who is up so early? apparently everyone! there was already laundry left in the dryer from last night! there were already two loads in the spin cycle when i arrived in the laundry room! it was only 6:30 in the morning!
i did manage to get my two loads in the dryer before two other neighbors arrived with their laundry. so much for waiting until after chatzot! well, maybe they were having the same internal strife that i was, but just had to do it anyway. or maybe i got the halacha wrong. either way, i had clean laundry before eight am this morning. life is good.