Independence

     I am always  amazed by people who love being "the sick one" to get attention. If they aren't really sick they will  invent an ailment. They love attention even if its negative. I am the opposite. I don't want to be ill and I try to do it all without  relying on others. It is important to know when to ask for help but often I am too impatient to wait for others to get their act together so I do things myself. as much as possible. There is a balance between asking for help when one needs it without being overly needy.
   I tend to want to be more self reliant than is necessary but  that isn't all bad. Being motivated to be self reliant is a good motivation to achieve instead of having to be self reliant because everyone has tired of your pity party. I have to learn to cut others slack for not living up to the high standards I have set for myself.
   
   

   

Help

     I often laugh to myself about people who are not as independent as I am, but really the joke is on me. Even when its admirable to be able to do everything one's self , it is just as important to be able to ask others for help. This is something that is difficult for me and I know that it takes patience as well. Which brings me back to why I like to do things by myself. The problem is that as much as I would not like to admit it, I can't do EVERYTHING and thus there are times that I must ask for help from others. Then again, one is still an independent person even if one needs help from others every so often. 

A Word To The WIse

     This is a bit of advise that I have to those of you who are approaching thirty, single and still living with your parents. If  you have a job that you can support yourself with you should seriously think about getting an apartment of your own. Get out on your own while your parents are still young. If you don't get married and move out and your parents get older it will become harder to move out on your own.
      Moving out on one's own is so important to personal growth. One must have one's own life. This does not mean one should cut one's self off from one's family or even to move far away from one's family, it just means you are able to cut the cord . Parents do not live forever. They will not be able to take care of you forever. Hopefully you will get married sooner rather than later but if you don't you will still be able to carry one with one's life. If you are able to be independent you will know that you can be a grown up and be an adult when you do find a spouse.
   

can't always go it alone

     Some people are never on their own. They always are in a relationship or they are co-dependent with their parents . They never learn to navigate life on their own . I have always envied these people. Even when I was a kid I felt alone. My parents were always so busy with my younger siblings that I felt like I had  to fend for myself. This was not all bad, but it does not help when I need to ask for help from others. Sometimes a person really needs to ask for help from someone else and when you are so used to solving problems on one's own it can be hard. It can also be hard to rely on someone else's help when one is not sure one can trust the other person enough to rely on their help.

a lesson from the deadbeats

i often get embarrassed when people ask me about what is going on in my life. i always wish that i would have achieved more . i have a stable job , my own apartment ,good  friends and hobbies, but i wish that i also would have a husband and a family. others who still live with their parents (even at my age or older) who have never worked a steady job and probably will never change have no qualms about their deadbeat status. when someone tries to set me up with them on a blind date, or i find them on  a dating website, they manage to spin it so they don't feel embarrassed . i don't know how they have such confidence. i guess i am not such a deadbeat because i have some shame. i need to be independent and a member of adulthood. i guess its good to always have something to strive for because it prevents stagnation. one should strive but still be comfortable with where one is in life even if it is not yet where one wants to be. this is a lesson i have learned from the deadbeats.