mazal

lately i have noticed that when i hear of couples marrying i have been genuinely happy for them. its not that i was not happy for others mazal before, but my joy from them was not complete. i was happy for them but still a little sad for myself. this scares me a bit because i have always thought that if you feel a little envy for others it can be motivating. it means one has not given up . it means one has not fully accepted one's single state. or does it? is it possible to be genuinely happy for others without meaning one has given up? i don't think that i have given up. but i have felt genuine joy for others who have found love. i am not fool enough to think that if one can be happy for others who get married that it will make me suddenly find love. there is no secret magic formula. that much i do know.