In the Moment

      I always like to have  something to look forward to,  especially when I am engaging in activity I would rather not be . It is good to have something to look forward to but it is equally important to appreciate the moment. Though I am quite good at looking forward to positive future events I am also quite good at anticipating possible negative events. This is not necessarily a minus  as long as it does not prevent me from enjoying the

 present which is still awesome.

The Past

      Sometimes its hard to believe that life happened before I was born. I have parents, grandparents and friends who can verify that history is real, but still, its hard to fathom. Its also hard to grapple that those much younger than me do not remember much of what I remember growing up. It makes sense though. They were not born yet. What makes this all the more interesting is that if I have trouble believing the validity of the recent  past and I actually know people who lived in it, what about people of the future? How will they believe that what happened in our times really occurred?

life

     Though we are called by the same name (unless we change it) our entire lives, we are really different people at different times of our lives. First we are babies, then toddlers, children, young adults, adults, middle aged , and then if we are fortunate we become elderly. Though we always seem to be just ourselves throughout these stages, we are also really different.
     I would like to encounter my younger self and speak to her with what I know now that I did not know then. If only I could look into the future and guess what my future self would want to tell me  with what I will know then.
     Perhaps it really is best not to know what is yet to happen. Perhaps it is good that we can't communicate now with who we will  be in the future. If we could we might not make the mistakes we will make today, but perhaps we wouldn't take the risks we should take if we knew what the future holds.

old pictures

when i look at old family photos i imagine what it would be like to jump into the pictures and relive those captured moments. i imagine the love i would feel immersed with long gone relatives. as much as i wish i could jump back into those moments  i also know that once loved ones have passed on they continue living within you and within your memories. its hard to explain if you have never experienced it. for better or for worse i have. they have left this earth. or so you think. there essense continues to live via what you have learned from them and what you remember of them.

no regrets

no one knows how long we have to mend broken relationships that we have in our lives. life and death happens and we have no control over either. sometimes we are fortunate to fix things and other times we aren't. i admit that i haven't always been lucky enough to beat the clock in these situations but in others , by the mercy of h-shem i have been.
unfortunately we don't  know how much time we have with people and unless we are clairvoyant we probably would not  act any differently given a second chance at the same situation. we would still  think that we would  have forever to change things.
its best to move forward and try not to wallow in the could haves and the should haves . best to learn from the past , but also realize that as much as we must employ our best  efforts,  no one is perfect.

do over

if you could go back in time and relive certain parts of your life do you think you would really change how you handled things , not knowing what you know now?  its easy to say that you would, but if you didn't know what the future would hold . truthfully , even if you did know that certain choices you made in the past would be counterproductive you still may not have changed how you did things. when one is in the moment it is hard to see the big picture. sometimes there are reasons one makes certain choices at certain times and at the time they seem inevitable.you may not have done things differently. hindsight is twenty / twenty.