Age Matters

      There is so much emphasis on looking young and being young in this culture that we sometimes forget that there is value with age. The thing that few people  tell you is that with age one gains insight about life that one does not get from anything but from having lived a bit. This is only a plus. I was fortunate to have someone actually tell me this years ago. Of course at the time I thought she had three heads. But this acquaintance at work told me that she was happy to be the age that she was and that she finally felt confident and comfortable with her lot in life. At the time I hoped that when I would be her age that I would feel the same. I am not yet the age that she mentioned, but I now I see a little bit more of what she meant. I too am more comfortable with who I am and who I have become than I was in my twenties which helps make up for the fact that I'm not actually in my twenties .
     When I was younger I would listen to adults talk about different time periods in their lives nostalgically and I could not exactly relate to it. Now I can and its not all bad. Its fun to be part of the youth culture of the day, but its also nice not to have to worry about always keeping up with it because you know that today's trends are the not too distant future's glamour don't.
      Decade to decade attitudes change as well as fashion. One really has to find what one is comfortable with and stick with it. The pop philosophy and attitudes  of the day will always change. It does not mean that you have to.

Growth

    Some people turn 20 and they immediately meet their bashert. By the time they are 30 they have four kids , a house  and a great job. Well as you know I am not describing myself. While I would love to have all these things even at this stage of the game, not attaining these ideals has forced me to find happiness in other ideals. It made me realize that even if I never get what everyone is supposed to want I can still be happy. This does not mean I have given up it just means that I am not depressed all of the time because I  single .
     The real test is when  one learns to appreciate life within whatever lot one is given . Its easy to be happy with one's lot when things come easy. I am not suggesting making life harder for one's self to get a bigger reward, just saying  that the bigger the struggle the bigger the payoff.

       When one has trials one is forced to re-examine life in order to appreciate life. It is a bigger test  to have an easy time in life and to really appreciate things even though it was not difficult to receive life's blessings. This of course is the test I would like to have but unfortunately not the one I always have.

questions and answers

you question judaism . you reconcile your own way of doing things. it may not be the most mainstream, but you find a way of making the mitzvot your own. sometimes its annoying to see others so sure of hashkafos you  no longer call your own. if it upsets you  perhaps its because although you have disowned that way of thinking there are still things about that way of doing things that still get to you. and guess what ? that's okay. maybe take what works for you and leave out what doesn't. or maybe try and be mature enough to realize that just because you may have moved on others have not. what's right for one person may not be right for you and vice versa.  and then own it.
life's too short to get caught up with keeping up with the jones' even religiously. to keep up with the jones' can be good if it helps you strive , but if it hinders  give it up. find the klal you fit in with that helps you grow.