Personal Space

     One of the things I dislike about living in religious Jewish  Brooklyn is the blatant disregard for personal space. It always bothers me how no matter how much I try to  not walk into someone someone always walks into me. For people who claim to be shomer negiah its a little odd.
       During this plague of coronovirus it seems the chassidic and yeshivish have seemed to be the last to adhere to the concept of social distancing which makes sense. The most physically pushy people just can't seem to tamp things down.
        It does suprise me how little regard for personal space people have here.When I broke my shoulder people would just run right into me even when I was wearing a sling . I find the lack of regard for personal space so unrefined and actually so un-Jewish. I am not against physical contact with others , but being bumped into constantly by strangers is unwanted physical contact.
       If the result of the current plague would be that people could get a little closer to my normal state of social distancing physically  it will have all been worth it.
   

Brooklyn Botanical Gardens

     I recently visited  the Brooklyn Botanical Gardens. I have been there before but I had not explored as much of the grounds as I had on my recent visit. Perhaps it was because on this recent visit I went by myself.
     

The water lilies

      I visited my the water lilies which is one of my personal favorites.
      I discovered the fragrance garden which has actually been part of the Brooklyn Botanical Gardens since 1955. The fragrance garden was created with blind children in mind so they could enjoy the gardens. This garden was a model for other botanical gardens. The plants in this part of the garden are fragrant and may be touched.

the fragrance garden

 Another part of the garden that I had never seen was the rose garden. I don't know why I had never seen the rose garden before  as its been around since the 1920's and I have usually visited the Brooklyn Botanical Gardens in the summer.
     I had also never seen the arc of roses or the Japanese river area.
      I didn't realize that the Brooklyn Botanical Gardens had been around since 1912.  Who knew ? All of Brooklyn was probably more bucolic then.
       There is something about nature that is so relaxing. Something so needed in all of this New York City living. I need to visit the Brooklyn Botanical Gardens more this summer and you should too. The pictures tell only part of the story. One has to visit the actual gardens to   experience the full effect. You won't regret it.

the rose garden

the arc of roses

braille in the fragrance garden

the Japanese letter and river

Leo Frank- From Fagin to Phagan

     I have long known about the most sad murder of Leo Frank. I just never knew the details. I recently visited the Museum of Jewish Heritage in NYC where there is an enlightening exhibit about Leo Frank.
     For those who are not familiar, Leo Frank (1884-1915) was born in Texas and raised in Brooklyn. He was Jewish. (duh). He was an engineer and ended up managing  a pencil factory in Atlanta Georgia where a gentile girl named Mary Phagan was murdered by a black man named Jim  Conley. Unfortunately the murder was pinned on Frank , due to anti-semitic judges and jury who went out for their way to convict Leo Frank  of a crime he did not do. The governor of Georgia Frank Slaton was appealed to . He realized that there were a lot of inconsistencies in the case and that Leo  Frank was innocent. He blocked the death sentence for Frank in favor of life imprisonment which would give time to eventually free him from prison. This did not happen. A lynch mob extracted him from jail and hung him. Frank is the only known Jewish man who was lynched in America. It is heart breaking. He  was 29 when he was arrested and 31 when he was murdered.
         The exhibit had the original newspapers that chronicled the case. It was chilling to  see  Leo Frank's handwriting.  Its hard to imagine such blatant anti-semitism . The exhibit also has  a short film with testimonies from relatives of Leo Frank as well as relatives of Mary Phagan who continue to blame her death on Leo Frank. Also included on video is Alonzo Mann, Leo Frank's then 14 year old office boy in 1986 testified that he saw Conley shortly after Pagan's murder carrying her to the basement of the office building at the time the murder wast to have taken place. This deposition by the anti defamation league formally  pardoned Frank posthumously of the murder of Phagan.
          I spent several hours reading through this exhibit. It is not so easy to do . It struck me just how young  Leo Frank looked at 29. Such a waste. It was TO KILL A MOCKINGBIRD with a Jew.

Leo Frank

         If you don't know much about this grievous injustice, be sure and see this exhibit at the Museum of Jewish Heritage .
 

   
   

Leo Frank at nine

Leo Frank's baby shoes , rattle and picture

Leo Frank and sister Marion

Mary Phagan

Pencil factory 

Leo Frank's diploma

Chocolate Chips

      So many people think that kosher food does not taste good. I hate this stereotype so on my quest to break stereotypes I brought a chocolate chip challah from Breadsmith in Brooklyn to work for my Jewish and gentile co-workers. To my pleasant surprise my co-workers, Jewish and gentile were wild about the chocolate chip challah to the point that they are always asking me to get  them  chocolate chip challahs from Breadsmith . The Brooklyn location is the only one that has chocolate chip  challah.  I say mission accomplished.

1979 Making bagels by hand in Brooklyn, NY

    I found this gem online today. Notice how they aren't wearing gloves as they make the bagels. Does anyone know what part of Brooklyn this is?

UWS

     The haven for religious Jewish singles is the UWS (upper west side, Manhattan) I lived there for a year in college, but not since. When I graduated college most of my friends moved to Brooklyn or Queens so that's what I did. By the time I really thought of moving to the UWS as an option I had been working for a few years and was able to support myself without the help of my parents. If  I would have moved to the UWS  I may have needed some supplemental contributions from my parents. I liked being able to pay my own way so I opted to stay in the outer boroughs.
     Eventually I could afford living on the UWS comfortably if I had roommates, but in the end I opted to use that type of rent to pay for an apartment sans roommates. Why pay so much money to live with roommates? Even good roommates move on and then you are stuck struggling to pay the rent until you desperately search for a roommate you may not even like just to pay the rent.
       Some will say that it is worth overpaying to live on the UWS because there are so many singles there that it is likelier to meet one's bashert there. This is probably true. People like to delude themselves and say that few on the UWS marry because there is so much choice. That is not really true. Though there are many confirmed singles there I know many who have met and married their spouses because they lived on the UWS.  Unfortunately the only way that I could afford to live  there comfortably is if I had several roommates. After having lived in my own apartment for years this does not appeal to me at all, especially since there is no guarantee that this type of arrangement would be short term.  Whenever I had roommates, even good ones, it did not feel like it was really my apartment. I cannot say I really want to go back to that.
          If I had the money to live as I do now on the UWS  I do not want to live like a grad student at this point . I want to enjoy my life, enjoy my space. I  do want to get married, but I also realize that my life right now is my life and I can't keep living life on hold. I have friends who will say one should only live in a basement apartment until one gets married because it will be an incentive to get married. Maybe, but maybe you will just end up  being middle aged and living single  in a basement. That would really suck.
      

Weight Watchers Events

     Every so often Weight Watchers will have a special event and usually it is on a Saturday. What's a frum Jew to do? The king's highway center in Brooklyn has always had a large frum clientele which over the years has grown . It has grown so much that they decided to have their speical event on a Thursday instead of a Saturday and they said that they would even have kosher cupcakes. If you ask me I think that moshiach is coming soon. Thursday  May 30 Weight watchers of kings highway will be having a special event between 3:30-6:30. For the rest of the country the special event will be held on a Saturday. 

Buses

     As of last week Brooklyn city buses have a glass partition around the bus driver. I hope the glass is shatterproof. Its a little scary looking. Perhaps there have been a lot of attacks on bus drivers lately. I guess this will help protect the bus drivers.
     The single most scary thing that happens on  a New York City public bus is when a wheel chair passenger comes on board. The driver stops the bus and gets up out of his seat

to help the wheel chair passenger onto the bus. I am always afraid that the bus is going to be hijacked by another passenger while the bus driver is helping out the wheel chair person. I am not sure that a protective glass partition will protect against a hijacking while the bus driver is not in his seat and helping the wheel chair person.

Thank You

     Hurricane Sandy was the worst storm to hit New York City. It kind of reminded me of that awful movie AI where they show Manhattan and Coney Island submerged under water. I did not like that movie when I saw it years ago and I like it less today.
     I will say that though there has been a lot of devastation there is also a lot I am thankful for. I am thankful to the MTA for shutting down the subway on Sunday before the storm hit.  A lot of people could have drowned   had the trains  been running during the storm. So many lives were saved.
      I am also grateful that I live in zone 3 in Brooklyn so I did not need to evacuate my home during the storm. I am grateful that I did not lose power or water during the storm. I am not listing these to rub it in to those who did lose power , had to evacuate or lost their water.  I am merely being thankful for  the gifts I have been given. I am also stating them so I remember these things when I start kvetching about the lack of subway service and the fact that we can't be sure when it will be restored.
     My heart goes out to those who have been evacuated from their homes. My heart goes out to those whose homes have been destroyed . My heart goes out to those whose power is out and who do not have water.
      When the tsunami hit Thailand my heart sank for those who lost their lives and homes. When the earthquake hit Japan I had rachmanas on those who experienced it. I sent clothes to the Philippines when my co-workers made a collection for those whose survived the floods there a few years ago. No one every really believes such devastating acts of G-d will come their way. It  always seems like something that happens to someone else.
     I always find acts of G-d to be the most profound. There is such devastation that is not man made. They are meant to make us think. Perhaps they are to make us appreciate the mundane. After one's world gets so shaken up one longs for the boring normal of everyday.Too bad we can't always appreciate the mundane until it is suspended.
   
   

the scale is moving in the desired direction...

i've been doing the weight watcher's thing since the first week of june and finally, finally its starting to do its magic. weight watcher scales are as neurotic as i am. they measure to the .2 pound so i have now officially lost not five pounds but 4.8. well in my book its really five pounds.  whatever. i've learned that not only do i have to buy fruits and vegetables, but i have to figure out a way to prepare them so i will actually eatthem before they grow mold. i  have also figured out that every so often i have to switch it around a bit otherwise i get sick of eating the same old stuff. moving more boosts the weight loss, but if you really want to be svelte you have to make sure that you keep cake , ice cream and cookies ( or whatever your food  trigger is ) a treat and not a staple. sad, but true. fortunately i really love summer fruit, so it has made it just the tweensiest bit easier. i also have learned that at almost any time of the day i go to a weight watcher's meeting in brooklyn i will know someone who is at the meeting. either a personal friend, or someone who was at weight watcher's six years ago when i was in my last  weight watchers stint. on the one hand its a little depressing to see some of the same familiar strangers , but on the other hand its comforting. no matter how many times you fall off the healthy food wagon you  can still try to  get back on track and apparently im in good company.
i don't think that weight watcher's is the only way someone can lose weight responsibly, but its what works for me.

midwood mardi gras

midwood mardi gras is like going to an open air amazing savings store. amazing savings is like an upscale 99 cent store. i am not a big fan of amazing savings stores, but i do find the midwood mardi gras to be entertaining.  its a great time to people watch. the only really good deal i found this year was simpsons groggers. the  person who sold them to me had no idea that i was preparing for next purim when i bought them but i'm sure he appreciated the sale anyway.

shabbos plans

every friday i hear the same question. "so what are you doing for shabbos?" sounds innocuous , right.? well sort of . the thing is as much as i like to go away for shabbos and visit friends, my most favorite thing is staying home for shabbos . this doesn't mean that i stay in my apartment like a hermit, just means i get to stay home and sleep in my own bed. i have friends over for a meal or go out for meals. i usually go to shul and later in the day sit on the benches on ocean parkway. i always make time for reading and a nice sized nap. if i go away for shabbos im on somebody else's schedule. for meals im at somebody else's mercy. usually when i go out for a meal when im home in brooklyn it doesn't matter what is on the menu. if the food is not plentiful i know that when i go home i will be able to refuel with my own food.
even if when i go away to a good friends for shabbos i still feel like i have lost  my weekend. even if i have a good time. when i go away for shabbos i lose that time of the week when im in charge of the day's agenda.

shomer shabbos

in brooklyn you really learn something new everyday. today i was at kosher delight on avenue j and  someone asked for a shomer shabbos as part of their order. i for one was baffled. we were at kosher delight.for heaven's sake! well... i had to find out what this meant so i asked the woman who placed the order what that meant. apparently this means that  a  jewish person puts the burger on the grill. sephardim are makpid on this.

its always fun to learn about a new chumrah one has never heard of ,but this one really floored me.i wonder if there is an extra charge for this? if so this is ingenious. i wonder how many kosher establishments provide this feature. 

shomer negiah redefined

after many years of shopping at glatt mart i have realized that there aren't very many frum people who are shomer negiah or nor too many frum people who have respect for personal space.

let me explain. whenever i am at the checkout counter checking out there is always someone behind me in line pushing into me while they unload their groceries onto the conveyor belt. i don't get it. are they just not getting any at home so they feel the need to bump into me in line at glatt mart? shoving someone in line is NEGIAH . they don't need to push me to secure their space in line. this is why i don't understand why all of this negiah is going on.

unless im just too exhausted i will confront the person who is touching me unnecessarily in line and tell them not to shove me as they are unloading their shopping basket. i think im going to have a new tactic and tell them they ought not shove and crowd me in line as i am shomer negiah and their behavior is thus inappropriate.

the barnes and noble date

one thing i hate about midwood is that there are no secular bookstores here. on the weekends i often frequent park slope where there is a barnes and noble bookstore. one would think that frum jews do not frequent secular bookstores given the desert of secular bookstores in midwood and dare i say boro park or crown heights. well.... EVERY time i go to the barnes and noble in park slope i am always in good frum company. today was no exception. however today there was a special treat. the frum barnes and noble date. this is a welcome update on the lounge date.
at first i wasnt sure what i was seeing. i saw one very decked out ultra frum bais yaakov type girl sitting by herself at a table at the cafe. a few tables over i saw another very dressed up bais yaakov type girl. eventually i saw their dates sitting with them.
i have always thought that a bookstore is a good site for a frum date. we are the people of the book for heaven's sake!
aside from the dates there were several woman with sheitels and men with yarmulkes reading books at several tables in the cafe.
half the fun of going to the barnes and noble in park slope is having an excuse to frequent the hip park slope. if there was a barnes and noble in midwood i probably wouldn't go to park slope all that often.

food issues

i must have the most interesting grocery cart in midwood. whenever im at the checkout at glatt mart someone decides to pick up one of my food items on the checkout counters and ask me about it. its the biggest pain in the you know what. another favorite is those who decide to tell me how expensive the item they are groping is and is it really worth the money. even if i went shopping with my own mother she wouldn't ask me this. i cant stand this brooklyn-jewish invasion of privacy. i don't appreciate someone beside the check out person handling my grocery items either, but i figure anyone could have fondled the food package before i put it on the check out counter, so i usually try to just suck it up. i think that i should look into a new career as a personal grocery shopper. if my new clients dont actually like how their food items taste at least they will find them intriguing.

braces

a few years ago my co-worker and i were chatting and we realized that our rich bosses who grew up rich were missing one very important attribute. STRAIGHT TEETH. all that money and yet their rich parents did not give them braces. as someone who wore braces for three years and who has four siblings and two parents who also wore braces i find this appalling! i always thought that the quest for straight teeth was a jewish rite of passage! alot of brooklyn-jews also lack the we're jewish we must have straight teeth gene.
over yom tov i was chatting with a cute guy and i kept thinking that though he was cute there was just something.... something that was amiss. ... he had the most crooked teeth. i cant explain it , but it really irks me. ..
i know that braces cost money, but so does dental work for crooked teeth- for all of the cavities that grow under crooked teeth. i have several friends who wore braces as young adults and now they have beautifully straight teeth.
i have dated guys who obviously did not have braces as teens but its often very hard to get past . i know that its shallow of me, but i just have a thing for straightened teeth...

tishrei blues

when the goyim talk about the holiday season its a joke. its two days . x-mas and new years. and if you want to count thanksgiving day its three days. big whoop. they are depressed and on the brink of suicide over three days. well the goyim have nothing on us jews. we have a holiday MONTH. tishrei. there's a good reason judaism isnt a missionary religion. jews tend to have a corner on mental illness to begin with, but the christian converts would not be able to handle a month of yom tov!
but seriously folks, i like the jewish holiday season of tishrei, but it can be a bit depressing for us single folk. the torah reading on rosh hashanah can really depress us single chics . if chana and sarah were so beloved and yet they had troubles having kids whats in store for us regular people? ive always heard that hashem loves to hear the davening of tzadikim and this is why they are always tested. well... enough tests. i dont think i can take any more of this.
the holiday season lightens up tonight when sukkot begins. another holiday to remind me i have no on to spend it with... and next week is simchas torah. unless one is on the upper west side this is no holiday for single women. the hakafot are really boring in brooklyn unless i have a few good friends to schmooze with.
well folks ... there is always next year... until then have a happy tishrei and a joyous sukkot!

midwood memories

i like to kvetch about midwood as much as the best of them, but not today. i dont go to shul for shacharis every morning, but this year since elul, as ive been running to work every morning ive heard the shofar blowing from the shuls i pass by . no im not hearing things. this is midwood after all! im not sure why i hadnt noticed it before other years. i find it really cool.

the calm before the heat wave

i know that im alone in this sentiment, but im really glad that there havent been that many hot days yet. its already mid-june. this also means that i havent had to use my air conditioning all that much either.
my favorite time of the year is spring and fall when you dont have to wear a jacket during the day though you may need a sweater early morning or after dark.
im not a fan of heat and humidity. its so hard to breathe when its so humid outside . i originate from a city that is even more extreme in the summer that new york. in new york it just gets as hot and humid as my former hometown two or three weeks of the year. brooklyn in the summer is like the mountains compared to my former hometown. unfortunately heat and humidity isnt somthing one gets used to .(at least not me!)
im going to savor the cool weather while its here and before my electric bill reaches triple digits.