Closer

      I have always hated the old adage about how every person one goes out with brings a person one person closer to their bashert. Until today. I think that a person learns a lot from those one dates and that it is this knowledge that brings a person closer to finding one's bashert.
      The other thing that I always hate hearing about is timing and bashert. One should meet someone at the right time. Well that sucks. Not only does one have to meet the right person , but it has to be at the right time. Unfortunately this is more true than I would like to admit. Some people are not a match because they are not on the same page at a particular time. They may be a match later on because  they will be in sync then. Sometimes it would have been a match years before had two people met  , but now it is not good.

everybody needs a little magic

i have attended more singles events than one person should be allowed to be subjected to . however, i think that because of this i have  a right to share my opinion regarding them. i think that the best singles events are those that are just that- an event. when speed dating first became in vogue i really enjoyed it. it was a way of forcing people to interact. speed dating went by the wayside when singles realized that though they may get to interact with those they would like to at speed dating events, they also get to interact with those they do not like. so speed dating fizzled.

i have over the years been to singles events that may or may not have brought me any closer to meeting my bashert, but they did not break my spirit. several years ago there was a singles event that featured an eccentric artist who made paintings for everyone at the event. i don't know if anyone connected, but it was so much fun and people did feel compelled to interact because it was exciting . another fun event was the screening of the israeli tv show srugim. . yet another positive event was with a magician who walked around the crowd as well as performing a show, forcing people to interact .  a single's event with a shiur that has a mechitzah and then socializing afterward does not work. most people just scope the crowd through holes in the mechitzah during the shiur and leave when its over.
the truth is it does take a little magic to meet someone. it does not really matter the venue. if you aren't going to meet someone you won't and if you are supposed to meet someone , no matter how lame the event, you will meet.

emunah

i give people alot of credit who have complete emunah that everything that hashem does is for the best. its not that i have zero faith, its just that i cant totally say that i always have complete and total faith that everything that happens is for the best. i realize that we as people dont always see the whole picture, but i really do have a hard time understanding how life can be so unfair sometimes.

if you are single today do you truly believe you will get married?

the poll has ended. now for the truth my dear readers have revealed. only half of the respondents believe that they will marry. thirty percent solidly believe that they will never marry and the remaining twenty percent do not firmly believe either way that they will or will not marry. it just depends on the day.
its nice to see that so many still believe their bashert is out there. however, when thirty percent of those polled solidly say they dont believe they will ever marry , this is disturbing. i hear what they are saying. however, its is bold to actually admit, even in an anonymous venue. i would have thought that more would just be wishy - washy and say that their emunah depended on the day instead of a full out no i dont think i will ever marry. and yes, i would have thought only twenty percent would have thought they would never marry. i guess alot of people feel they are realists and therefore dont believe marriage will ever happen for them. perhaps im a fool in believing that i will get married. i would rather be that fool. it makes me feel better to be hopeful.