A Twist

I recently saw an event advertised for a women's only concert at a secular Jewish venue. The woman singing is frum and observes the laws of kol ishah. She does not sing in front of men. The only thing is, this secular Jewish event space decided to be pc and the ad said that this is a women only concert  and for  those who identify as women. Well... biological women are women but those who identify as women , except for biological hermaphrodites are men. Is it kol ishah to sing in front of trans women? Aren't they really men? They often transform to women who like women not women who like men . Isn't that the what the whole issue of kol ishah is? Biological men who who desire women no matter how they dress? It really upsets me that this venue had to put into writing their desire to include men who identify as women in this kol ishah event. I would think that this would make this more of an issue than if they happened to let men who identify into the event in a don't ask, don't tell type of admittance. If a man who identifies as a woman shows up to the event and the singer did not realize they would be in attendance then I bet it would be less of a kol ishah issue. If the singer knows that this is going to happen then it would seem like she thinks this kind of kol ishah is permitted, which I would guess that it is not. If these transgender women like men then I think it would be less of a kol ishah issue. Gee whiz. These are  issues I never thought I would be contemplating.

Everybody Wants a Man

Charles Manson may be getting married soon but I'm not sure I will . An adoring 25 year old nitwit wants to marry Charles Manson. She wasn't even born when he committed murder. This just goes to show you that everyone wants a man . He may be a murderer but there will always be some moronic woman out there willing to be his wife. Sheesh.

On Having Children

      To be sure women get the short shrift when it comes to how long they are able to have kids. Biologically after a certain point it just is not going to happen. Men always seem so cocky about this. I find this hilarious. Maybe a woman is not able to conceive a child at a younger age but really men do not have that much longer to have kids. Its maybe ten years longer than women do , but its not unlimited. Perhaps a man could sire a child at 60,  70 or 100 years old but what does that mean? He most likely will not get to see that kid grow up. He most likely won't be able to play catch with that kid. Even if he does get to see his kid grow up he may not be in the best of health. He will be more of a grandfather than a father figure.
       A lot of times older men are seeking much younger women to stoke  their egos. I get that.  In  reality no one has an unlimited time to become a parent. 

nice is out

whenever i hear a man tell a woeful tale about some woman who done him wrong all i am thinking is a big SO WHAT. and THIS is why. usually said guy has a great big chip on his shoulders after this and treats the next girl  not so nice even if she is a nice girl. so they will never get a nice girl. they really like the b&^*ches better anyway. they would prefer to be treated badly by the b*&*&ches so they can justify being mean to the nice girls. when you are nice you are always out of luck. maybe i should try being meaner. maybe then i would find  a nice guy to  marry me.

don't humor me

many women say that they are looking for a guy with a good sense of humor . not me .  i like men who are able to laugh, just not the comedian types. when every word a man says is a joke it gets old fast. i can never have a simple conversation  with him because he first has to make light of whatever i am saying before i can actually tell  him what it is i've been trying to say.
if a guy always has to joke and tease i always wonder what it is he is trying to distract me from finding out .
comedians are fun to watch on tv or in a comedy club, but not so much fun to date.

playing hard to get

ever wonder why when one isn't  interested in a guy he is always calling, but once one actually becomes interested in him he becomes ambivalent and barely calls? i don't wonder . i know why . when someone is chasing after me they never have to evaluate whether or not they are truly interested in me because it is still a fantasy. once i become interested then it becomes a reality. then he actually has time to obsess about his actual feelings now that it could be a reality. this is why guys like it when women play hard to get (and vice versa). reality is much tougher  to fall head first into than mere possibility.

when does it happen?

i often look at the undesirable males at singles events and i wonder how it is they turned out this way. i mean really, you look at babies. babies are so cute. when did that change occur? when and how did that adorable infant turn into that annoying clod im trying so hard to escape at a singles event?
sometimes there is a rage that builds up in a guy and makes him turn into that guy everyone runs from. it is also quite sad . if this rage hadn't compounded so much he might have remained normal.
on occasion i can identify emergence of the clod gene. some guys start to get it in their mid-thirties. its scary because you see it coming but there is nothing you can do about it. you see that rage building up within him coupled with rejection and you just know its coming. too many girls have done him wrong he says. probably he straddles the edge between cool and nerdy . he's just cool enough that the rejection of the cool girls really gets to him. this is his downfall. by the time he turns forty it is all over. he's not just a super geek he's a loser. he's mad at the world, especially at women. and now he's at the point of no return. the creepdom has taken over any sign of coolness he had ever had and he is now a bonafide loser .
im not sure that this is the reason some shadchanim think that some guys really need to get married, but if you ask me it is. if these guys would get married before the rage overtakes them they would not be the losers i encounter at singles events.

that's so bald!

when i was in college when someone wanted to say something was stupid, they would say it was so bald. im not exactly sure how the term was coined, but i always found it funny.
some women i know say they specifically do not want to date bald men. im not sure why. so long as a guy has a nice face, who cares. alot of men go bald with age anyway. if you meet him when he's already bald then there is no surprise as to what he will look like if he goes bald. he's already bald.
obviously a guy with hair is preferable , but im sure alot of guys would prefer a girl with modelsque looks instead of the average usuals, but we all have to be realistic.
the bald not bald dilemma does change with age. when you're 20 most men in their early twenties have hair. there might be a little bit receding there, but usually there's hair.
by late twenties , early thirties alot of guys , especially jewish guys, start to lose it. they become very self conscious about it. some bald guys even bring pictures of themselves when they had hair to show me on a first date. big no-no.
my favorite is watching television with guys who actually have hair but its starting to recede. they will see an actor who has alot of hair and comment on what great hair he has. funny thing is , it would never have crossed my mind to mention said actor's hair. it just takes an envious guy to notice this.
dating a bald guy vs dating a guy with hair on his head is a non-issue to me. baldness is just a physical attribute, its not a personality trait or defect. there are so MANY other more serious issues to ponder in dating and baldness should not be one of them.

for better or for worse

the only issue that men have worse than women in dating is the height issue. short women have an easier time finding a spouse than a short man. however, this issue is only equal to the beauty discrepancy between men and women. a beautiful woman will date an ugly man. even an ugly man will not likely date an ugly woman.
the second place position where men could have it worse is parnassah. if a man is unstable in the money making department he wont get very far. less men are concerned with how wealthy their future spouse is (unless of course he is jobless and then he cares very much), so a womans wealth is less important.
THATS IT. i suppose the height issue is worse than the parnassah issue. one can change ones employment status, but one cant change ones height.
i still dont pity short men. nothing trumps the age issue . women always have it worse. even an old man wants a much younger woman. a short man can wear platform shoes. no one can actually get younger.

i love you man

i saw the funniest movie i love you man featuring two of my favorite actors - paul rudd and jason segal.

the premise of the movie is that men tend not to have alot of male friends, especially if they are in relationships with women. paul rudd's character is engaged and is trying to make some same gendered friends. this movie is silly, but it is also REALLY funny.
rashida jones who is the daughter of jewish peggy lipton and black quincey jones plays paul rudd's wife. she is a brunette version of christine taylor of marcia brady fame. its nice to see another movie where the shiksa goddess doesnt get to play the wife of a cute jewish actor.
anyway, paul rudd's character meets many guys before he finds jason segal . their rapport is great as well as completely hetero.
i do admit that alot of why i enjoyed this movie was because i relish gazing into paul rudd's blue eyes , but seriously, if you need a mindless pick-me -up , this is the movie to see.