all grown up

i remember reading the following saying in a book when i was eighteen years old . 'you can never go home again' meaning once you leave home you can never go back to the way it was. as a young adult that meant being independent when i was out of town but when i visited my parents it was hard to still be the kid.
time passes and the meaning of this proverb changes.
eventually you find a job , friends and  perhaps you marry or  have children. you busy yourself with the things that are important to you.

one day you visit your immediate family and then you realize that though you love them very much you have a life that is very separate than theirs and that  you miss that life tthat you have created when you are away from it. suddenly you realize that you are all grown up .

agree to disagree

although i'm a big believer in the phrase 'to each his own' i admit that sometimes it is hard to really internalize. sometimes i find it hard to understand why others are so convinced of their logic when clearly i don't see how they are being logical. of course , being an adult is learning to agree to disagree even when you know you are right. being an adult stinks. no wonder there are so few of us.

greenberg

greenberg the movie . what can i say? ben stiller should win an oscar for this movie. will he? probably not. but he should.

greenberg is about a 40 year old pseudo-jewish man who is let out of a mental hospital after recovering from a nervous breakdown and stays at his married with children brother's house while his brother is on vacation. he is extremely neurotic and narcissistic. his conversations are more like soliloquies and when he does actually listen to what the other person has to say he tries to psychoanalyse them . whenever i hear someone getting psychoanalytical on me i always suspect that they themselves are seeing a shrink(unless of course they themselves are a shrink!). as with roger greenberg many self appointed shrinks are trying to analyse others with the insight their shrinks have given them. this would be ok if everyone shared the same psychosis. most of us dont. in roger greenberg's case not too many people share his psychosis except for the fact that i kept thinking he seemed vaguely familiar. like someone some stupid shadchan has tried to pass off on me.

the other reason greenberg seems oddly familiar is how he is forty but is still stuck in the past. he loves the music of the seventies and eighties because this is the music he grew up with. this would be ok if he was able to appreciate the new stuff as well. i meet so many men like this and not too many women like this. its great to love the music you loved as a kid but doesn't it get boring to just listen to the oldies? i mean really , why not listen to newer music if not just for variety's sake?

greenberg is more of a character driven movie than a plot driven one. it is a movie that has a message . roger greenberg is stuck in the past. he could have been a rock star at twenty-five. now he is a carpenter. he is comfortable doing nothing. he doesn't understand why his forty year old friends have created families , relationships and meaningful careers. he is too warped to ever grow up. what seems cool at twenty wont always be cool. if you don't bother growing up the joke's on you. unfortunately its those around you who will suffer. if one is deluded enough one wont recognise one's own stagnation.