the importance of self confidence

self confidence is such an important midah to have. self confidence, not to be confused with arrogance or cockiness.
it is important not to base one's self esteem on other's opinions of one's self. if someone else thinks one is less than, it doesnt mean one is actually less than. its all well and good to be well liked, but if you only feel accepted because others accept you, there is a problem.
i have some friends who only think they are good people if they are in a relationship, if not they think that they are zeroes.
in my opinion, if a guy doesnt think im fabulous its his problem. if someone isnt in to me im doubly not in to him. of course maybe my lack of concern for others opinions is my problem....
maybe this is why i am still single . who knows. all i know is that love should be a two way street, and if it isnt , its not meant to be. i want to know someone wants me out of his own volition, and if not , the heck with him.
as that great old poem goes.... if you love someone set him free. if he comes back to you he was always yours. if he doesnt, he never was.
i also like the alternative ending : if he doesnt come back, hunt him down and shoot him.
without self confidence it would be hard to keep a job. one has to believe in one's own ability to succeed. to succeed in life, love and on the job.
this, in a nutshell is self confidence.

buzz.. buzz...

today i was flipping through people magazine ( my most reliable news source!) and i noticed an article about possible bee extinction. apparently , over the past 25 years there has been an over 50% decline in the bee population. this of course is a bad thing because one in three bites of food relies upon the pollination of bees.
normally i wouldnt pay any mind to such an article , but today i did. recently i had the pleasure of viewing jerry seinfeld's bee movie, which dealt with this very issue. if bees do not make honey or pollinate their up to 30% of this nation's food supply, we may not have berries , nuts or watermelons and much, much more.
researchers think that this decline in bees may be due to pollution or parasites. what do these bees know that we as people dont? why dont they want to stick around?
if one little bee can effect the world so deeply, imagine how each person effects the world.
and of course watch the bee movie. after tisha b'av. its cute and apparently more educational than i ever imagined!

no big surprise

my presidential voting poll is over. i see that mccain was the big winner. no big surprise here. anyways, i still havent decided who i will vote for.....

the meaning of life

when i was a kid i never understood why my grandparents would get all dressed up when they went to school plays my siblings and i were in. i recognized that they loved us and wanted to be at our performances, but at the time i did not understand why this was so important for them.
now that im older and hopefully wiser, i understand. life is crazy and the most important things in life are the joys one has from one's friends and family. this is why they had honored me and my siblings so much. they knew that the joy we gave them was so important.
one doesnt have to be a parent or a grandparent to experience this. one can shep nachas from one's nieces or nephews, or by being there for one's friends. its the human connections that gives people reason to stay alive.
life would be difficult if it had to be done entirely solo. ones family and family of friends add joy to ones mundane existence.
my grandparents knew this.
and so do i .

is patience a virtue?

i would consider myself a patient person, but it can be alot of hard work. patience can really wear a person out.
when one is patient, one isnt always the most assertive.
patience is also humbling.
or maybe im being forced to be more patient than i actually am, and that is what is wearing me out.
some friends require lots of patience, which is why they befriend me, but sometimes i dont have the strength to be patient, sometimes i need to be around less needy people.
when people say that h-shem wouldnt give anyone any trial unless he thought they could handle it really causes me to pause. so does this mean that this particular person is seemingly without mazel because they deserve it? because they can handle it?
i know that whatever adversity doesnt kill someone makes one stronger, but how much can one person take?
how much patience does life require?

shidduchisms

one of my favorite things is when a longtime single "finally" gets married and everyone now guesses that they must be normal after all. weren't they normal before they got married?
i have a friend who had an older sister who got married in her late thirties and i always heard people gossiping that they thought she was weird and way too picky. turns out "too picky " meant that she didnt want to date anyone who lived out of town. now since she lived in nyc, it wasnt an unrealistic stipulation. she was living in a community where there were plenty of prospects. anyway, i knew my friend's sister and she had a great personality and was quite pretty. anyway, in the end she found someone within her age range and did marry. then all of the gossip mongers sighed a communal sigh of relief and decided " she must be normal after all"
oy vey! she was normal all along.
there are alot of abnormal people out there who get married.
and just because one actually gets married, it doesn't mean one will never get divorced.
since when has being divorced meant that one is more normal in the dating pool? no , i dont mean to bash divorced people. i would be perfectly charmed to date a divorced guy. im just saying that just because one has been married before it doesnt guarantee one's normalcy. after all ,there is a reason that they have gotten divorced. i have heard that there is an even higher rate of second marriages ending in divorce than first marriages.
there are no guarantees or perfect formulas to finding the optimal spouse because people are people and everyone is different.
there are lots of psychos who are single as well as married. marital status does not certify sanity.

ac vs no ac

though i do enjoy the freedom of summer , my favorite season is fall. i cant stand the heat of summer and being sweaty.
that said, i use the ac all summer as much as i need. i am not a fan of sweating like a pig. its hard to go to work the morning after a sweaty night's sleep. it also can give me a headache. thus my high ac bill.
i have alot of friends who dont mind sweating along in the summer just to cut their electric bills. id do that, but when its really hot out i just feel like im going to pass out.
truth is , except for summer, my energy bills are really quite low. i even have invested in compact fluorescent bulbs. this is how i justify my high summer bills.
i really admire people who feel always cold . they have it made. all they have to do its put on a sweater, and they are good to go. when one is sensitive to heat , there are only so many items of clothing one can legally take off.