more subway madness

being one who likes the comfort of continuity, its sometimes jarring when change occurs. more specifically jarring is when this change occurs on the new york subway system. i do not appreciate the new trains on the Q line. i never liked the design of the 4,5 and 6 trains, and i like it even less on a train i have to ride daily.
the new Q train looks like the 4, 5 and 6 trains. there are long benches on either sides of the subway cars. i like the current design of of the orange seats that have seat divisions. its easier to anchor ones self during turbulence on the orange seated trains. i find myself sliding uncontrollably on the newer long bench version.
the new trains dare to have a digital display of the upcoming train stops. the problem is whoever has devised these displays hasnt yet learned the train routes . i was on the train today when the digital display said we were going to be stopping at grand street, a station that the Q train never stops at. lo and behold the announcer announces that we will be stopping at grand street next. next thing we know, we are at canal street. the stop that were actually supposed to be stopping at. they actually tried to fix the digital display which next announced that we would be stopping at ocean parkway in brooklyn instead of the real next stop that was union square. they tried to correct themselves by next announcing that we would be stopping at w. 8th st, also in brooklyn! as we were pulling in to the station the conductor finally announced that we had reached union square. so much for technology!!
i do admit that i never laughed more during a morning commute, but i would prefer less drama. the mta can convert these new trains in to much needed homeless shelters and we can keep the current/older train design.

summer apples

at the risk of making myself sound like i originate from the backwoods, i will share this memory...
when i was small my family had an apple tree in our back yard. it was really cool being able to just pick an apple off the tree and just eat it. my mom didnt even make us wash them before eating.
the apples on our apple tree were of the green variety. until this week i hadnt had an apple like the apples from that apple tree since i was eight years old. yesterday, at the union square green market i purchased green apples marked "summer apples" which tasted just like the apples we had on our tree. it was an amazing experience. munching on that crispy apple transported me to that space in time.

a small advantage

i have always wished i would have been a few inches taller than i am. over time some of the negatives have turned into positives.
because i was a petite kid, i was always mistaken for being much younger, which as a kid can be quite annoying. no sneaking in to r rated movies for me! of, course at this late date, im glad to be mistaken for much younger.
in my opinion tall senior citizens seem much older than their petite counterparts. i think that when someone sees a tall older person, who was once this strapping force of youth, now a hunched over older person, its a much greater contrast to someone who was always short who has aged.
when a petite person gains weight one will usually still fit in to standard sizes. when a tall person gains weight they need to head over to the plus size section.
this in short is a small (person's) advantage.

the importance of self confidence

self confidence is such an important midah to have. self confidence, not to be confused with arrogance or cockiness.
it is important not to base one's self esteem on other's opinions of one's self. if someone else thinks one is less than, it doesnt mean one is actually less than. its all well and good to be well liked, but if you only feel accepted because others accept you, there is a problem.
i have some friends who only think they are good people if they are in a relationship, if not they think that they are zeroes.
in my opinion, if a guy doesnt think im fabulous its his problem. if someone isnt in to me im doubly not in to him. of course maybe my lack of concern for others opinions is my problem....
maybe this is why i am still single . who knows. all i know is that love should be a two way street, and if it isnt , its not meant to be. i want to know someone wants me out of his own volition, and if not , the heck with him.
as that great old poem goes.... if you love someone set him free. if he comes back to you he was always yours. if he doesnt, he never was.
i also like the alternative ending : if he doesnt come back, hunt him down and shoot him.
without self confidence it would be hard to keep a job. one has to believe in one's own ability to succeed. to succeed in life, love and on the job.
this, in a nutshell is self confidence.

buzz.. buzz...

today i was flipping through people magazine ( my most reliable news source!) and i noticed an article about possible bee extinction. apparently , over the past 25 years there has been an over 50% decline in the bee population. this of course is a bad thing because one in three bites of food relies upon the pollination of bees.
normally i wouldnt pay any mind to such an article , but today i did. recently i had the pleasure of viewing jerry seinfeld's bee movie, which dealt with this very issue. if bees do not make honey or pollinate their up to 30% of this nation's food supply, we may not have berries , nuts or watermelons and much, much more.
researchers think that this decline in bees may be due to pollution or parasites. what do these bees know that we as people dont? why dont they want to stick around?
if one little bee can effect the world so deeply, imagine how each person effects the world.
and of course watch the bee movie. after tisha b'av. its cute and apparently more educational than i ever imagined!

no big surprise

my presidential voting poll is over. i see that mccain was the big winner. no big surprise here. anyways, i still havent decided who i will vote for.....

the meaning of life

when i was a kid i never understood why my grandparents would get all dressed up when they went to school plays my siblings and i were in. i recognized that they loved us and wanted to be at our performances, but at the time i did not understand why this was so important for them.
now that im older and hopefully wiser, i understand. life is crazy and the most important things in life are the joys one has from one's friends and family. this is why they had honored me and my siblings so much. they knew that the joy we gave them was so important.
one doesnt have to be a parent or a grandparent to experience this. one can shep nachas from one's nieces or nephews, or by being there for one's friends. its the human connections that gives people reason to stay alive.
life would be difficult if it had to be done entirely solo. ones family and family of friends add joy to ones mundane existence.
my grandparents knew this.
and so do i .