though i know many frum couples who have opted for adoption when they were unable to have a biological child i have yet to see any mention of the possibility of adoption on any frum dating website. i know that there is a "willing to adopt " box on e harmony .com, so i know that there is at least one dating website that includes this "radical" option. obviously it is optimal to have a biological child , but what is wrong with putting it out there that one is willing to adopt ? nothing on frumster prevents anyone from writing this on their profile but i haven't noticed anyone who has listed this option. including myself. i suppose i should . but it is a shame that willing to adopt is not an automatic question in the multiple choice section of one's frumster profile.
5 comments:
I think because at the onset most people don't think "Well if G-d forbid I can't have kids then I'm willing to adopts" or even, why not go the Brangolina way and adopt 6 kids. Most people just assume that they will get married and have healthy kids. Adoption is most often an option people think of when everything else is exhausted. Not to say that it is only a last resort.
i hear what you are saying altie.
the thing is some people are not willing to adopt even if they can't have kids biologically. then again i would make sure i knew the answer to that one before i would marry someone.
i suppose that this is a topic that runs through my mind a bit more because i am a little older than you are.
I have one son who grew in my uterus (now age 17 and leaving for college next fall), one daughter who I fostered for 3 years and then adopted at age 13, and I have been a foster mom to Jewish and non-Jewish children for the past six years. Some have stayed for only a week and others for as long as four years.
I'm no longer able to give birth myself, but would be delighted to marry a man who already has children, or who would be willing to be a foster parent with me.
Good post - this is an important point, especially where the couple are marrying relatively late.
You might also want to consider the surrogacy route, which allows a couple to become parents in a way which is often far more direct than adoption and without a lot of the intrusion connected with the adopting process.
Anon613-London
vs- yes i've thought about that route as well.
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