off the derech and beyond.....

i find it interesting discussing the off the derech situation with bts. they find it hard to understand how someone could grow up seeing the light and veer in the other direction. i do believe that the torah way is the right direction, but i do believe that everyone must make judaism their own. shivim panim latorah. i believe that everyone is different and though we may have different perspectives we still can be striving for the same purpose. by the same token i know that there are cracks in the system and i do understand why people jump ship. some people find it hard to be an individual and if they dont feel they can be part of the group they give up. some feel if they dont agree with everything in the torah they cant believe in any of it. i myself feel that even if some things are difficult to observe or believe that it doesnt mean i should give up everything . i dont know if i will ever achieve the same level as some, but who cares? its about the journey, not the destination. i know that there are alot of hypocrites disguised as gedolim which can turn people off. lack of derech eretz by those who should exhibit it the most is a huge turn off. i also know that just because i want to ignore being jewish that all of the mitzvot dont just go away. i also believe that being frum is such a big part of who i am that i dont want to give it up. i also believe g-d has rachmanas and i prefer to believe in a loving g-d,not one of fire and brimstone. i know that there is punishment for aveyros, but i prefer to dwell on the positive, because anything else is counterproductive. i dont have the wide-eyed wonder of a bt, but the determination to uphold the mitzvot as one who has sifted through the chaff .

foreskin's lament

i finished reading foreskin's lament by shalom auslander on thursday morning. how appropriate.though not planned. i wasnt actually sure if i would like the book, but i did. the book is about an ex -frum guy who has a son , but isnt quite sure if he wants to give his son a bris, and the internal philosophical dialogue that goes on within his head as he makes his decision. the book also tells you how a guy like him came to be who he is today. it was quite fascinating. like many of the ex-frum i know, though he no longer has the outward trappings of a frum jew , he isnt able to extract it from his head. some reviewers i read mocked shalom auslander's rebellion because they said that he wasn't even yeshivish , so what was he rebelling against. i disagree. no matter what level of yiddishkeit one hails from one can feel oppressed. look at woody allen and phillip roth. i hail originally from outside of new york and i can tell you that being modern orthodox where i grew up was equivalent to being a satmar chasid in new york. orthodox is orthodox no matter how u slice it. if you are shomer shabbat and and keep kosher you are a religious freak to most of the world . so i do understand where shalom auslander is coming from. what was so much fun about the book is that he is speaking about frumkeit from the inside instead of as an outsider . though i wouldnt mock like shalom auslander does, i can understand the inside jokes. what is fabulous is that by the end of the book he realizes that he still believes in g-d despite all of his rantings.
the only thing that surprises me is how praised this book is in the secular world . i wouldnt have enjoyed it as much had i not grown up frum or been familiar with the frum community.

happy purim to all

purim is definitely one of my favorite holidays because i am a big fan of hamantashen. every year i go to as many bakeries as i can in search of the best hamantashen. more specifically i search for the best poppyseed hamantashen which is my favorite. the first challenge is finding a bakery that actually has moon flavored hamantashen. often all they will have is apricot (blech) or raspberry (double blech). they dont even have prune sometimes!!! my second favorite flavor.
this year however , i was rather successful. most bakeries did carry moon flavored hamantashen. the winner this year is ostravitsky's on avenue j. runner up is isaac's bakery on avenue j. i did try a hamantashen at j2 in manhattan, but they didnt have poppy so i had prune . i have to admit that i did find it tasty.
though ive done my share of taste testing over the past few days i still have some room left for a few more hamantashen on purim day!!!
Have a Happy and Healthy Purim !!!

its purim every day on ny subways....

the only subway system i have had experience with is that of the ny subway system. and what a wild ride it has been. for 2 dollars a ride or whatever it is these days ( i have an unlimited ride metro card for 81 dollars a month and the rates have changed recently) you will not lack for live entertainment. wanted or not. nothing like being on your way home from work, feeling like every bone in your body aches , just wanting some peace and quiet, and "bANG" they invade. the subway performer. you try to ignore them and read your book but it is impossible. they are just so loud that the noise goes through you. and you cant get up and change cars because you would have to give up your coveted seat .which is worth more to you than peace and quiet on a subway car. so you dont change cars. and you hope that the performer is someone who will quickly change cars after imposing their invasive shpiel. you hope its not a subway preacher rambling on about jews and non-jews with a voice that gradually rises to a crescendo as she speaks. you hope its not an alleged homeless subway parent doing a song and dance act with their kids. you hope not to get hit in the head when they do their somersaults. you hope there aren't any elderly missionaries on board . especially none that were born jewish. and now are not. or women on board who look straight ahead and say "i dont know why people say im a woman when im really a man". or someone from the united homeless organization reminding one to go home and thank g-d one has a home. and if one decides not to donate at least to give a smile....there's a purim shpiel everyday on the new york subways....

one thing leads to another

last summer i saw arlo guthrie perform a free concert outside of lincoln center. it was quite incredible. i found the event mentioned in metro ny or am ny . i dont remember which. i didnt even realize arlo was going to be there i just honed on the part about it being a sixties music concert. as i listened to the songs i realized that i knew most of arlo's songs, but didnt know that he was the one who sung them. im embarrassed to say that i mostly knew of him and his father woody guthrie from crossword puzzles. the passage of time was quite apparent because many of the audience members were in their late fifties and early sixties. they knew all of the songs. they were no longer the youths of the woodstock generation.
after the concert i found some woody guthrie cds and learned that he sang 'this land is your land' . months later i found a hannukah cd of woody guthrie's songs at barnes and noble. i was shocked. although i later learned , after speaking with my mom , that woody guthrie's wife was jewish , making arlo jewish. recently i listened to 'wonder wheel' which is a cd full of woody's lyrics set to music by the klezmatics. its superb. inside the cd it tells a little bit about woody's history. its quite interesting to see how woody guthrie, as american as apple pie, ends up married to a jewish woman and explores judaism(though he doesnt convert as far as i can see) and even collaborates with his jewish mother-in -law , the yiddish poet, aliza greenblatt.
all these insights were reached because i read am ny/metro ny .

down memory lane

last night i went to the jewish music cafe. blue fringe performed. i think that they were one of the best groups ive seen perform there. their music reached deep into my soul. and i cant say that about much of the music ive seen performed there. but im not trying to gripe. ive always liked attending the music events there because they remind me of my junior high and high school days. the bands are predominantly comprised of young men who are y. u. types. the audience is a mix of yeshivish and more modern orthodox types, heavier on the modern orthodox types. it reminds me of a more relaxed point in my life before the new york religious idiosyncrasies blackened my spirit.

what is your dating age range???

now that my poll is over i humbly attempt to analyse the results:

1. 10 yrs older 35%
2. 5 yrs older 35%
3. 10 yrs younger 21%
4. 5 yrs younger 7%
5. it depends 14%

i do have to say that i am somewhat surprised. i was hoping that more people would have responded "it depends." i guess that is just too much to hope for. nonetheless , i am still happy with the results. an equal amount of respondents answered that they would date someone 5 yrs older and someone 10 yrs older. both are fair responses. interestingly more people responded that they would date someone 10 yrs younger than only 5 yrs younger. interesting. however, i did not specify male and female answers. then again , you never know . a woman might vote that she would date someone 10 yrs younger. just the same i cant be sure that no man voted that he would date a woman 10 yrs older. though i only had 14 respondents, i still believe my results reflect reality. a measly 2 people believe that "it depends " as far as dating age range goes. this is a sad , but true footnote to modern times. we are still boxed by convention.