summer and psoriasis

the only two things i like about summer are wearing sandals and the fact that there are alot of free events in new york in the summer, otherwise im really not a fan. every summer my psoriasis gets worse. this year it wasn't as bad as it could have been because it wasn't as scorching as usual.
compared to many who have psoriasis my case is not so bad. its all relative. even if its not so bad its not so good either. this year i had the honor of having psoriasis on my right eyelid. let me tell you its not too cute. i looked like someone had socked me in the eye. whenever psoriasis manifests in the eye area it is on my right eye. when i get migraines the pain is greatest behind my right eye. i wonder what that means?
ive been tempted just to stay holed up at home weekends so i wouldn't have to deal with the pitying looks of friends as they ask me what is wrong with my eyelid. if i would stay home my eyelid skin would be all id obsess about. this is why i go out anyway. for sanity's sake.
finally the medication kicked in and my lid is starting to look and feel more normal. bh. when its bad my upper lid looks very dry and wrinkly which scares me.when it first happened i was afraid it would stay that wrinkly. it did not . it went away.
even if my hands get a little dry in the winter its nothing compared to the itchy mayhem i experience in the summer before the drugs kick in and give me relief.
i cant wait until fall which is my favorite season. fall weather is cooler. my skin itches less and its not as hot so i can breathe.

vanity of the eyelash

the latest mishigas is long eyelashes. brooke sheilds has them! how did she get them? with latisse. latisse is made out of the glaucoma drop lumagen and repackaged as a lash enhancing drop. when will the vanity end? long eyelashes are an unexpected perk for those who chas v'shalom have glaucoma, but to use a glaucoma drop when one doesnt have glaucoma to achieve long lashes? is this really a necessity? what are the long term effects on someone using latisse if they dont have glaucoma? will it accelerate ones chances of actually getting glaucoma? lumagen can cause green eyes to go brown. is this a possible side effect of latisse? how much does someone want long lashes for someone to take this risk?
my mom unfortunately has glaucoma. she uses lumagen and has blue-gray eyes that b"h are still blue-gray. though she has amazing eyelashes , she would trade them for not having glaucoma. lush as mom's lashes are, she still wears mascara when she goes out.
these days there are alot of good volumizing mascaras out there. lashblast by covergirl, colossal volume by maybelliene and 2000 calorie by max factor are all fabulous . they are also all drugstore brands. latisse is $120 dollars a month. do the math. why use a medication for something that can be achieved merely with makeup?

rejection

i saw the movie hes just not that into you a few months ago. drew barrymore wines that in this day in age one checks their e-mail, cellphone messages , text messages as well as her old-fashioned landline answering machine just to find she has been rejected by so many versions of technology. rejection still stings the old fashioned way no matter which technology gives us the ax. too bad technology cant alleviate heartbreak.

under lock and key

on sunday while i was flipping through some cool books at urban outfitters i came across a book of postcards. one of the postcards really struck a chord. here goes: ' i ran away when you tried to find the key to my heart and i found someone else who will never want to find it. '
i pray that this will never be my postcard. relationships can be scary especially if i like someone, but i hope i am brave enough to face the challenge.

UHO

when i was walking down fifth avenue today a black man approached me and asked me for tzedakah . yes, and he used the word tzedakah. then he said to me " come on, just put some money in the pushkah. its a mitzvah. its a mitzvah." i burst out laughing . it was the funniest thing ive ever heard. he was one of those dudes from the united homeless organization who position themselves all over manhattan with their plastic jugs that say UHO. as i was laughing the man continued to say that he does his research, he knows his people. i usually dont pay much attention to these beggars, but he was so original i just had to. i even gave him a dollar. i wish id taken his photo. too bad. even without a picture this episode is forever etched in my memory as one of those "only in new york" moments.

we are living in a jaded universe.

i'd like to take a moment to say that it really stinks that there are so very many jaded people out there these days. its not just the people older than me, its also those my junior. there is very little optimism, just alot of acceptance of a bleak life sentence.

defining moments

the first day of school, bar/bat mitzvahs, weddings, moving into a new house, graduation day, first day at a new job, are all defining moments in a person's life. these are clearly defined moments in life. sometimes there are defining moments one has that at the time one doesnt realize how great an impact they will have on one's life.
after college i lived in kew gardens in hills for about a year. one afternoon i was walking down main street and i just happened to run into a friend from college i hadnt seen in a few years. by then she had gotten married and was back from a year in israel with her husband. now we are still in touch. to me this was a defining moment because had we not run into each other at that exact space in time we may not have still been in touch now.
i went to a party seven years ago and met a lot of new people . i met a few guys there that i later ended up having relationships with at different times during these past seven years. at the time it was just a party. a few friends of mine had moved out of their parents house and it was their first apartment. it was their first party . i guess for them it was a defining moment . in another way it was a defining moment for me . a moment which at the time seemed just average, but turned out not being very average at all.
over the years i have had dead-weight friends who i was just too polite to get rid of . i would try to ignore them and perhaps they would go away. needless to say that was not enough. once i was discussing this dilemma with a friend who straight out said"why are you still friends with x? get rid of people like that in your life. they just weigh you down!" and i did. ive never looked back..... this was a major defining moment in my life. i cant be so polite to someone else that im making myself miserable!
there are so many moments that have transformed and shaped my life. too many to count. sometimes i can look back and identify them. more often i cannot.