Sunday, August 9, 2009

defining moments

the first day of school, bar/bat mitzvahs, weddings, moving into a new house, graduation day, first day at a new job, are all defining moments in a person's life. these are clearly defined moments in life. sometimes there are defining moments one has that at the time one doesnt realize how great an impact they will have on one's life.
after college i lived in kew gardens in hills for about a year. one afternoon i was walking down main street and i just happened to run into a friend from college i hadnt seen in a few years. by then she had gotten married and was back from a year in israel with her husband. now we are still in touch. to me this was a defining moment because had we not run into each other at that exact space in time we may not have still been in touch now.
i went to a party seven years ago and met a lot of new people . i met a few guys there that i later ended up having relationships with at different times during these past seven years. at the time it was just a party. a few friends of mine had moved out of their parents house and it was their first apartment. it was their first party . i guess for them it was a defining moment . in another way it was a defining moment for me . a moment which at the time seemed just average, but turned out not being very average at all.
over the years i have had dead-weight friends who i was just too polite to get rid of . i would try to ignore them and perhaps they would go away. needless to say that was not enough. once i was discussing this dilemma with a friend who straight out said"why are you still friends with x? get rid of people like that in your life. they just weigh you down!" and i did. ive never looked back..... this was a major defining moment in my life. i cant be so polite to someone else that im making myself miserable!
there are so many moments that have transformed and shaped my life. too many to count. sometimes i can look back and identify them. more often i cannot.

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