inspired by 9/11/01

being a technophobe i am always the last to get the new technology bandwagon. when cellphones were new i kept putting off getting one because i didn't want to be that accessible . after 9/11 it all changed. the idea of having a cellphone made me feel safer so i got one. when i went to the store it became obvious to me that a lot of people were buying cellphones as a result of 9/11. in his sales pitch the clerk who helped me remarked how it really helps to have a cellphone when one is running from a burning building. even at the time i found that  remark over the top. then again, it was no worse than when the train conductor would say that due to the"incident" at the world trade center all q trains were running local.

Dip Your Apple - Fountainheads Rosh Hashanah

rosh hashanah..its closer than you think!! this is an upbeat song to get you in the spirit.

9/11 ....the reading of the names

every year at the site of the world trade center they read the names of those who lost their lives  9/11/2001. this year is no different. it is  broadcast on television . family members of the fallen are reading the names as i am writing this. it is hard not to shed a tear when one realizes how long it is taking them to read those names. parents, spouses , children , brothers , sisters,aunts, uncles and cousins were lost. when a fourteen year old girl read her father's name and said that this was by his "peanut girl" one realizes how long ten years is . there will be a day not too far off when the children who were born to 9/11 widows within the year after 9/11 will be old enough to read their fathers names. the most heart wrenching is listening to the parents who lost children on 9/11. how can anything be the same for them?
to all those who were lost on 9/11/01 may they rest in peace. may those who had loved ones who perished that day may they have peace.

9/11/11

where has the time gone? the events of 9/11/01 are as clear to me now as they were ten years ago.  on  the morning of  9/11/01 i was at work when two planes flew into  manhattan and destroyed the world trade center. i was at work when another plane hit the pentagon and yet another plane went down in pennsylvania. everyone at work crowded around a vintage 1976 tv and watched in disbelief as the first tower fell and then then the  second. though by the time i was watching it both planes had hit the trade center,  it barely registered that there were actually two planes  even though i later realized that i had watched the instant replay of both planes hitting the trade center.
i know several people who escaped the world trade center that day. they were the lucky ones.
i stared in disbelief as i saw the photos of thousands displayed all over manhattan looking for the "missing" people. they most certainly are missed but they are  not alive either.
for days after 9/11 there were sirens. for at least a week after you could still see the smoke as the world trade center continued to burn. for weeks there were war planes overhead in all of the five boroughs of new york city.
i lost three pounds on 9/11/01. i couldn't eat for weeks. whenever i put food in my mouth it tasted like sawdust. the world as we knew it was forever changed.
it wasn't until november that i was mentally able to see the destruction at the world trade center site. even then there were throngs of people gathered to  view the devastation.there were signs beseeching onlookers not to take photos of the destruction. no one heeded that request. i took pictures, but the truth was that by then it was just a big pit. not much else was left, beside the stench.
i took pictures of the "missing" people. i took pictures of the shrines  individuals erected in union square in memory of those who were murdered. i found out from photos of the "missing" that i  knew a few people who had siblings that died in the world trade center.
it was hard to endure those frummies who were happy this event happened to the united states because they thought that this would make the united states understand israel better. what fools. all events of terror are horrible. and actually the destruction of the world trade center does ellipse many other acts of terror because of how many people were murdered. the zealous fools would say that because israel has less people that proportionally that its the same but i don't agree. a life is a life and 3,000 were lost at the world trade center at one pop. i don't advocate comparing tragedies in any event. acts of terror are acts of terror. no need to compare.
i pray for peace. i pray that 9/11 will remain the only terror act of its kind in the united states. peace and love forever.

airport pat downs

when given the choice i would choose a body scan over a pat down at the airport any day. when i flew out of new york last week i went through the body scanner. when i left the midwest on monday i was given a pat down and i got the feeling that it was only because i was wearing  a skirt.  when the airport security woman  saw me she decided to do a pat down which was only on my  legs. i briefly googled how to avoid an airport pat down and one of the things listed was for women to wear pants , not a skirt at the airport. i do not wear pants, but i do not want to get singled out for a pat down at the airport every time i go through security only because i am wearing a skirt.i think that this is discrimination.

house vs apartment

i consider my apartment my home, but deep down i feel a real home is  a house. i suppose this is because i grew up in a house .
i visited my mom this past weekend. she lives in the house i grew up in. i spent most of  the weekend indoors because it was oppressively hot outside. i did not have cabin fever . i usually get cabin fever when i spend too many consecutive hours in my apartment. perhaps this is because i live alone. perhaps not.  when i lived in a basement apartment i really enjoyed the fact that i was living in a house. you just opened the door and you were outside.(after climbing a few stairs ) . there was a certain freedom to house living. in an apartment building i dread the elevator chitchat  especially after a long day at work. i need a little time to unwind before socializing. then again i don't mind chitchat with the right person, but in an apartment building there are many i'd rather just nod and smile at than chat with. especially when its late and i have spent the entire day talking.
a house feels like a personal city. an apartment feels like a time share in a city.
im not moving to a house any time soon, but someday i would like to.

fall into new beginnings

i suppose spring is when new flowers bloom but for me fall has always been the season of new beginnings. perhaps it is because rosh hashanah is in the fall and fall begins not long after my birthday. my birthday signafies the beginning of my personal new year.perhaps the crisp chill in the air makes new beginnings seem possible. though i am writing this from my air conditioned abode i know that fall is on the way. bring it on.