i would consider myself a patient person, but it can be alot of hard work. patience can really wear a person out.
when one is patient, one isnt always the most assertive.
patience is also humbling.
or maybe im being forced to be more patient than i actually am, and that is what is wearing me out.
some friends require lots of patience, which is why they befriend me, but sometimes i dont have the strength to be patient, sometimes i need to be around less needy people.
when people say that h-shem wouldnt give anyone any trial unless he thought they could handle it really causes me to pause. so does this mean that this particular person is seemingly without mazel because they deserve it? because they can handle it?
i know that whatever adversity doesnt kill someone makes one stronger, but how much can one person take?
how much patience does life require?
Wednesday, July 30, 2008
Sunday, July 27, 2008
shidduchisms
one of my favorite things is when a longtime single "finally" gets married and everyone now guesses that they must be normal after all. weren't they normal before they got married?
i have a friend who had an older sister who got married in her late thirties and i always heard people gossiping that they thought she was weird and way too picky. turns out "too picky " meant that she didnt want to date anyone who lived out of town. now since she lived in nyc, it wasnt an unrealistic stipulation. she was living in a community where there were plenty of prospects. anyway, i knew my friend's sister and she had a great personality and was quite pretty. anyway, in the end she found someone within her age range and did marry. then all of the gossip mongers sighed a communal sigh of relief and decided " she must be normal after all"
oy vey! she was normal all along.
there are alot of abnormal people out there who get married.
and just because one actually gets married, it doesn't mean one will never get divorced.
since when has being divorced meant that one is more normal in the dating pool? no , i dont mean to bash divorced people. i would be perfectly charmed to date a divorced guy. im just saying that just because one has been married before it doesnt guarantee one's normalcy. after all ,there is a reason that they have gotten divorced. i have heard that there is an even higher rate of second marriages ending in divorce than first marriages.
there are no guarantees or perfect formulas to finding the optimal spouse because people are people and everyone is different.
there are lots of psychos who are single as well as married. marital status does not certify sanity.
i have a friend who had an older sister who got married in her late thirties and i always heard people gossiping that they thought she was weird and way too picky. turns out "too picky " meant that she didnt want to date anyone who lived out of town. now since she lived in nyc, it wasnt an unrealistic stipulation. she was living in a community where there were plenty of prospects. anyway, i knew my friend's sister and she had a great personality and was quite pretty. anyway, in the end she found someone within her age range and did marry. then all of the gossip mongers sighed a communal sigh of relief and decided " she must be normal after all"
oy vey! she was normal all along.
there are alot of abnormal people out there who get married.
and just because one actually gets married, it doesn't mean one will never get divorced.
since when has being divorced meant that one is more normal in the dating pool? no , i dont mean to bash divorced people. i would be perfectly charmed to date a divorced guy. im just saying that just because one has been married before it doesnt guarantee one's normalcy. after all ,there is a reason that they have gotten divorced. i have heard that there is an even higher rate of second marriages ending in divorce than first marriages.
there are no guarantees or perfect formulas to finding the optimal spouse because people are people and everyone is different.
there are lots of psychos who are single as well as married. marital status does not certify sanity.
Friday, July 25, 2008
ac vs no ac
though i do enjoy the freedom of summer , my favorite season is fall. i cant stand the heat of summer and being sweaty.
that said, i use the ac all summer as much as i need. i am not a fan of sweating like a pig. its hard to go to work the morning after a sweaty night's sleep. it also can give me a headache. thus my high ac bill.
i have alot of friends who dont mind sweating along in the summer just to cut their electric bills. id do that, but when its really hot out i just feel like im going to pass out.
truth is , except for summer, my energy bills are really quite low. i even have invested in compact fluorescent bulbs. this is how i justify my high summer bills.
i really admire people who feel always cold . they have it made. all they have to do its put on a sweater, and they are good to go. when one is sensitive to heat , there are only so many items of clothing one can legally take off.
that said, i use the ac all summer as much as i need. i am not a fan of sweating like a pig. its hard to go to work the morning after a sweaty night's sleep. it also can give me a headache. thus my high ac bill.
i have alot of friends who dont mind sweating along in the summer just to cut their electric bills. id do that, but when its really hot out i just feel like im going to pass out.
truth is , except for summer, my energy bills are really quite low. i even have invested in compact fluorescent bulbs. this is how i justify my high summer bills.
i really admire people who feel always cold . they have it made. all they have to do its put on a sweater, and they are good to go. when one is sensitive to heat , there are only so many items of clothing one can legally take off.
Tuesday, July 22, 2008
the city that sleeps
nyc is called the city that never sleeps. well... maybe manahttan is the city that never sleeps, but brooklyn, one of the five boroughs of nyc, is a borough that sleeps, or more specifically , midwood , brooklyn sleeps. when i get home late from work on say a monday,i can only get take out or junk food . all the grocery stores near me close before 8 pm. in fact i dont even know when they close on a monday night because im never home early enough to find out. if not for shabbos, the grocery stores would not even be open late on a Thursday night.
i know i really need to look in to ordering groceries from fresh direct. according to their website they have alot of kosher products, even chicken. of course , the hardest part of ordering from a place that delivers groceries is that i will have to be home when they arrive . i do think that i may actually explore this venue. i really need to keep away from the junk food.
sometimes i actually go food shopping before i leave the city if i know im low on food. but of course, i have to be in the mood to shlep the stuff home on the train.
we as jews love to eat, but apparently the jewish grocery store owners in my neighborhood arent too worried if anyone eats on monday unless its earlier in the day . perhaps they are trying to discourage night eating? is weight watchers paying them off? i have noticed alot of their products in the local stores.
i know that the brooklyn groceries think that everyone is eating shabbos leftovers on mondays so they can close early, but what about us singles? im busy all weekend, and usually run out of food at the end of the weekend and am starving for real food on mondays!
i need to change my work schedule and get out a little earlier on mondays so i dont starve!
i know i really need to look in to ordering groceries from fresh direct. according to their website they have alot of kosher products, even chicken. of course , the hardest part of ordering from a place that delivers groceries is that i will have to be home when they arrive . i do think that i may actually explore this venue. i really need to keep away from the junk food.
sometimes i actually go food shopping before i leave the city if i know im low on food. but of course, i have to be in the mood to shlep the stuff home on the train.
we as jews love to eat, but apparently the jewish grocery store owners in my neighborhood arent too worried if anyone eats on monday unless its earlier in the day . perhaps they are trying to discourage night eating? is weight watchers paying them off? i have noticed alot of their products in the local stores.
i know that the brooklyn groceries think that everyone is eating shabbos leftovers on mondays so they can close early, but what about us singles? im busy all weekend, and usually run out of food at the end of the weekend and am starving for real food on mondays!
i need to change my work schedule and get out a little earlier on mondays so i dont starve!
Monday, July 21, 2008
sunscreen queen
in the days before sun protection consciousness, when i was fourteen, i got one of the worst sunburns of my young life. the kind that blisters and peels. it was a nightmare. it itched, it hurt, it looked contagious. shortly after i became the sunscreen queen.
though it was a slightly before the days of global sunblock awareness, there still was sunblock and sunscreen. yes, even then. my dad is a pharmacist and he would get tons of sun protection samples. i was the only fourteen year old around slapping on the stuff. at school and at summer camp everyone would mock me. they'd say"dont you want to tan" and of course id say" no, i just dont want to burn." and i would also say, " trust me, i will still tan, i just wont burn. "
and so it would go. i went women's day at the separate beach in tel aviv and put on tons of sunblock. my friends donned baby oil. they couldnt believe i wanted to block the sun. i said my mantra" trust me, i will still tan, i just wont burn." and burn they did. i had a slight tan. they were scratching their sunburns. i was not.
what really strengthened my resolve to wear sunblock was something that happened to my friend leora. leora fell asleep on the beach. when she got home her body was burnt and swollen. it was scary looking. it looked quite painful and worthwhile to avoid such an experience.
my mom, who is not as fair skinned as i am shuns the sun as well. she doesnt want wrinkles.
though skin cancer may be more prevalent amongst fair skinned snow whites, darker complected individuals need to be careful of the sun. when they have skin cancer sometimes it is only caught in the later stages because it was harder to see on their skin.
in short, we all need to be careful to wear sun block, and wear protective clothing. this is where ultra tznius clothing come in handy...
my favorite sunblocks are clinique spf 50 and neutragena heathy defense daily moisturizer with heliplex spf 45. neutragena has several higher spfs but i find them a little too chalky.
its also important to wear sunglasses in the sun because doing so can prevent cataracts.
go ahead, become a sun shunner like me. you will still have fun in the sun, just fewer sunburns , wrinkles and age spots.
though it was a slightly before the days of global sunblock awareness, there still was sunblock and sunscreen. yes, even then. my dad is a pharmacist and he would get tons of sun protection samples. i was the only fourteen year old around slapping on the stuff. at school and at summer camp everyone would mock me. they'd say"dont you want to tan" and of course id say" no, i just dont want to burn." and i would also say, " trust me, i will still tan, i just wont burn. "
and so it would go. i went women's day at the separate beach in tel aviv and put on tons of sunblock. my friends donned baby oil. they couldnt believe i wanted to block the sun. i said my mantra" trust me, i will still tan, i just wont burn." and burn they did. i had a slight tan. they were scratching their sunburns. i was not.
what really strengthened my resolve to wear sunblock was something that happened to my friend leora. leora fell asleep on the beach. when she got home her body was burnt and swollen. it was scary looking. it looked quite painful and worthwhile to avoid such an experience.
my mom, who is not as fair skinned as i am shuns the sun as well. she doesnt want wrinkles.
though skin cancer may be more prevalent amongst fair skinned snow whites, darker complected individuals need to be careful of the sun. when they have skin cancer sometimes it is only caught in the later stages because it was harder to see on their skin.
in short, we all need to be careful to wear sun block, and wear protective clothing. this is where ultra tznius clothing come in handy...
my favorite sunblocks are clinique spf 50 and neutragena heathy defense daily moisturizer with heliplex spf 45. neutragena has several higher spfs but i find them a little too chalky.
its also important to wear sunglasses in the sun because doing so can prevent cataracts.
go ahead, become a sun shunner like me. you will still have fun in the sun, just fewer sunburns , wrinkles and age spots.
Saturday, July 19, 2008
beloved memories
my grandmother passed away seven years ago. as im writing this, i can barely believe it. its been seven years. seven years since ive seen my grandmother.
my grandmother was an amazing person. as a senior citizen she used to organize trips for seniors. she took them all over the united states.
grandma got married at 29 which in those days was like 39. she also travelled in her single days . my mom has an incredible photo album with photos from those trips . my favorite photos are of her and her friends in niagra falls on the maid of the mist. instead of those plastic cheapo raincoats they use now, they wore real raincoats . of course i really love these photos because i went to niagra falls with a group of my friends.
i miss the unconditional love that only a grandparent can bestow. i mourn the passing on of a generation. i miss my grandmother's hearty laugh.
because my grandmother was single and then a young widow, she worked various jobs whereas my mom never worked. grandma was a great person to commiserate with about work issues.
of course , i remember how when i was small grandma would sit on the floor and play kiddy games with me.
grandma didnt have the simplest life, but she always had a good attitude. though she was old you could speak to her about anything.
though my grandmother lives on in my memories, i miss not being able to see her in real life. i cant believe its been seven years
my grandmother was an amazing person. as a senior citizen she used to organize trips for seniors. she took them all over the united states.
grandma got married at 29 which in those days was like 39. she also travelled in her single days . my mom has an incredible photo album with photos from those trips . my favorite photos are of her and her friends in niagra falls on the maid of the mist. instead of those plastic cheapo raincoats they use now, they wore real raincoats . of course i really love these photos because i went to niagra falls with a group of my friends.
i miss the unconditional love that only a grandparent can bestow. i mourn the passing on of a generation. i miss my grandmother's hearty laugh.
because my grandmother was single and then a young widow, she worked various jobs whereas my mom never worked. grandma was a great person to commiserate with about work issues.
of course , i remember how when i was small grandma would sit on the floor and play kiddy games with me.
grandma didnt have the simplest life, but she always had a good attitude. though she was old you could speak to her about anything.
though my grandmother lives on in my memories, i miss not being able to see her in real life. i cant believe its been seven years
mama mia!!
as a kid i was a huge abba fan. i loved the song dancing queen. a few years ago i even saw fake abba at the brighton beach summer music series.
i saw the musical mama mia on broadway about a year ago. the plot was weak,very my two dads , but i loved seeing the abba songs live. it was like the soundtrack was the lead cast member.
when i saw ads for the musical being turned in to a movie i was skeptical . though i enjoyed the movie i had a right to be skeptical. the island the movie was filmed on didnt match the plot. the play was very white bread, but the movie was very ethnic.in the play, the sets werent that great but the music took over. in the movie the music played a supporting role.
if one has seen the play its fun to see the movie even though it is a cheap imitation of the play.
i saw the musical mama mia on broadway about a year ago. the plot was weak,very my two dads , but i loved seeing the abba songs live. it was like the soundtrack was the lead cast member.
when i saw ads for the musical being turned in to a movie i was skeptical . though i enjoyed the movie i had a right to be skeptical. the island the movie was filmed on didnt match the plot. the play was very white bread, but the movie was very ethnic.in the play, the sets werent that great but the music took over. in the movie the music played a supporting role.
if one has seen the play its fun to see the movie even though it is a cheap imitation of the play.
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