Monday, July 6, 2015


     Whenever I hear that bad news has befallen someone I know I am sad for them but also feel relieved because I am not ,baruch Hashem , bli eyin harah  experiencing the same trauma that has befallen my friend or aquaintance. And then I sort of feel guilty for appreciating the fact that I am not experiencing the adversity that  my friends are experiencing . I hope that  I am not sounding like a total shrew.
        The crazy thing about adversity is that no one knows how they will act when confronted with it. This is why I try not to judge others when they act seemingly off when confronted with it. I am not just saying this to cover my own reaction to it. I really believe it. Its best to try not to judge others who are experiencing adversity and also to be forgiving for others reactions to it. Sometimes the people who one would least expect to be the most sympathetic are.
        And so begin the three weeks....

Tuesday, June 30, 2015

Hakaras Hatov

     Sometimes its better not to talk too much about one's blessings to others. Sometimes others do not have what you do and it is important to be sensitive to that. I do not mean that one should never speak about the bounty that one does have but maybe don't speak about it all day long.
      Its nice to know when a friend or relative is engaged. I want to know and I am genuinely happy for them. Do I want to hear about it constantly night and day? Absolutely  not. On the other hand I have had stable employment all of my adult life (no I am not rich) . I talk about work but I would not constantly  tell this to my friends who do not have mazel in retaining employment. Its really not fair.
       Often someone does not hold back when talking about the joys of parenthood because they think that just because someone is single that the idea of parenthood is not on their radar . If they had a friend who had been married for many years and did not have children they might not spend all day and night talking about their kids. Its not that someone who does not have children resents someone who does has kids or wishes that their friend was in their boat, they just don't want that to be their only topic of conversation.
           Once I was at work and someone who should have known better was going on about how once she had children she then knew why women were created This woman was a first time mother at forty. She should have shared this with her mommy and me group instead of in a place full of people she did not know who may or may not ever have kids. Of course being a parent is a beautiful experience but being a single woman without children I may not be the person to share such an epiphany with.
          There are all sorts of situations in life where one is more fortunate than another person. These just are a few that are foremost in my mind at the moment. I try hard not to make others feel envy  when I am successful or have something someone else does not. There is no need to brag , just to have appreciation. Married people get divorced. People lose jobs.  Children  are fought over in brutal custody battles or chas v'shalom pass away. When you have a bracha just appreciate it because as easily as someone has mazel, they could also not have it.

Monday, June 29, 2015

Message from Rachelle Sprecher Fraenkel for Sinai Indaba

     What a strong message that speaks for its self. Though its a year later it truly seems like its only a year later and feels quite raw , but she is able to move on . 

Sunday, June 28, 2015

Saturday, June 27, 2015

Control Issues

    I have a friend who thinks that everyone has control over how their life turns out. While I don't think that everything is complete happenstance I don't think that everything that happens to us is in our control either. A person has to try  but one does not always get what one wants no matter how much they try. I wish life really was how my friend thinks it is . Life would be so much easier.
     Man plans. G-d laughs. 

Friday, June 26, 2015

Humor 101

      Comedians are often outsiders which is why Jewish people are often comedians. As a single person I often feel like an outsider. I think that's why I really appreciate comedy. As a double outsider I try to find the humor in life . There are so much humor everywhere if you only pay attention.  Adversity can make me angry , but its absurdity can also make me laugh. If I am really fortunate I am able to get others to see the humor as well. Humor can cut the tension of stressful situations if one is strong enough to employ it.
      Sometimes there is humor in the moment that can be seen in a moment but not necessarily be appreciated if one was not present in that moment. Sometimes its just a private irony that one just shares alone but  can help a person get through the day .
     I think that humor is a big gift from Hashem and I am very grateful that I have it in my life.