single.divorced . widowed. which is the best status to hold when one isnt married? my first answer is whatever ones status is it is the least desirable to be. my next answer is a little more complicated. depending on one's age divorced can be considered better than single. ah.. but the clincher is this . if its better to be divorced than never married, is it better to have been divorced several times than it is to have never been married? this my friends levels the playing field. it may scream commitment phobe if one has never been married , but to have been divorced several times may mean one is co-dependent and desperate and can never be without a spouse. unless of course one is over seventy. by seventy it could be perhaps be just a function of longevity to be divorced once and widowed twice. its a bit different for them than us younger folk.
it may be positive that a divorced individual can make a commitment, but then again a divorced individual might still have many commitments due to having made that prior commitment. this would be in the form of children. i love kids and would love to be a parent, but to be a stepparent is a different species altogether. if one has never been a parent it could get sticky. if one has been divorced oneself and has kids this too is a challenge.
the best case scenario of course is to get married young and to each be the others first spouse. for those of us who are going the (extremely) delayed adolescent route our basherts will run full gamut of statuses (single-divorced-widow).
6 comments:
Well...being widowed will prob get you sympathy...but I doubt a lot of people would prefer to be widowed...
To be divorced makes the men a little afraid to marry you.
mike- the interesting thing is alot of divorced men specifically dont want to date me because ive never been married before, especially on frumster.
I'm also on Frumster. It sucks for me though, nobody likes me there! ..to be honest I'm not sure I like any of them either!
..I wonder who you are on Frumster? Not that I would've seen you anyway; I'm not into 'older women'! ..not even by a year..
Thanks for following my blog by the way! : D
hatzair ben raphael....-
unless you knew my name you wouldnt be able to figure out who i am on frumster.
you defintely arent in my age range so i doubt you've seen my frumster profile.
Having been both an older single and a divorcee, I can tell you this: both statuses stink and each come with their own challenges. I think being divorced has a stigma of damage. On the other hand, at some point when I was dating, I did decide to only date men who had been married before (with room for exceptions if someone nbm who was fabulous appeared on the horizon). The reason was that I wanted someone who knew what marriage was and could be...someone who understood the work that it entailed and didn't still have his head up in the clouds. I based this on my own cluelessness prior to marriage.
As an aside, Hatzair, you're either a jerk or just made a really thoughtless, stupid comment. Grow up. Think.
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