This is Not a Love Story

   I just finished reading THIS IS NOT A LOVE STORY by Judy Brown who is also the author of HUSH.  This is a memoir about the author who grew up with an autistic brother in a hassidic family that spanned from Brooklyn to New York. I really like how authentic Brown's voice is. I think that this is a good book for people who may have the same situation in their families. Brown portrays the hassidic perspective in a positive way that is also realistic. Her parents love their autistic child yet can be frustrated by the situation as well. Once again it is nice to read about a frum family without it being overly preachy or overly critical of religious life. Religion is part of the story not the story. The story is mostly about parents who love all of their children being challenged by having an autistic child.
    Oh, and this book is most certainly a love story. Its the story of the love one family has toward each other. The world could use more of these love stories.

Happy Tu B'Shvat

   I actually love Tu B'shvat . It shows that we appreciate vegetation . Happy Tu B'Shvat.

Meet the Patels Official Trailer 2 (2015) - Documentary HD

    MEET THE PATELS is now streaming on Netlix. MEET THE PATELS is a documentary about an actor, Ravi Patel who is Indian, born in America and decides to date the Indian way to try to find a wife. His parents are matchmakers who are kind of embarrassed that their own children are still single.
    Indian dating  procotcol is not too far from the Jewish shidduch scene. They have bio- data forms , we have shidduch resumes. They have marriage conventions we have singles events.  It was fun to see another culture go through the process.
    This film is a must see.

Compromise

    How do you define compromise? Is it two people discussing something and reaching a mutually decided outcome or is it sometimes you get to do things your way and other times you do things the way someone else wants to. I would love to think compromise was choice A but more often its choice B.  I guess that's OK though.  I do like getting to do things my way full stop even if sometimes I have to suck it up and let others do things their way.
   Compromise, however defined is not easy, but necessary to get along with others. 

The Right Age

      Is it better to get married older or younger. Since I have done neither it may seem odd that I am writing this. Nevertheless I have an opinion so write I shall.
      I think that it is better to get married younger because one is less set in one's ways when one is younger. One is also more likely to have biological children if one marries younger. If one marries younger and stays married to that same person one has the possibility of a deep long relationship with another person. I love seeing old couples who have spent their lives together.
     People who marry older can still have long marriages , children and a life with another person . Not everyone finds a spouse in their twenties. Not everyone is ready for marriage at a young age. A lot of people who marry young divorce and marrying young does not guarantee having children young.
       Some people who got married young regret not having the time on their own before meeting their spouse. They regret having children so young . They divorce to relive lost youth.
         No matter what age one marries one does not get everything one wants . That's just how life is. All one can do is their best .

     

Someone I don't Know

           My most favorite line I have heard on the dating trail is when people say that they want to meet someone they don't know because no one they do know could possibly be a match. Sometimes there really isn't anyone one knows who could be a match, but sometimes there is. Why not be willing to take a risk with someone one knows already? Maybe they could really be a possibility. It could work out and it could not work out , but I do not think that the probability of it not working out is any higher than if one had not known of them for awhile. Maybe the person you have been searching for has been around all along, but you did not notice them because you already knew them.

Something to Remember

     I sometimes forget that bad people don't change no matter how much we wish they would. No amount  of giving them the benefit of the doubt will make them deserve the benefit of the doubt. Better to be around those who are kinder who also won't change, because people don't change. 

Readiness

       For some people they date and date and date and are always thinking that there must be someone even more perfect out there. For others they have to date a lot of people to get to the point that they feel that they know what is out there and then they will be ready to settle down. It takes some people longer than others to get to the point where they are ready to settle down. It is really better to come to such a realization sooner rather than later, but then again if one settles down sooner than one is ready to than it might not be the right time. Or maybe it would have been. Who knows.
       For others its not just having met enough people its more just being able to or wanting to be open enough with another person. Or finding that person one wants to take that chance with to have that connection with. Sometimes it can take you by surprise. Sometimes you realize that you already know that person you should be with but it took you a while to recognize . Or maybe it took them a while to realize it.
      If a person waits too long he/she misses out on some things they would have been able to experience had they married younger. Its better not to dwell on the past and focus on the future . Sometimes focusing too much on the past can prevent a person from moving forward.
     I am one of those who thinks of all of the possibilities before I leap. Others leap first and think later. Perhaps its better to be  somewhere in between.
      

Blogoversary

     Its been eight years since I have started writing this blog. It seems it went quickly. Its been harder to think of posts lately since I have already written so much already. Then again it challenges me to experience more in life because more experiences inspire more posts. Looking forward to writing more this year .