Wednesday, October 26, 2016


     Facebook stalking old acquaintances is always fun but often disappointing. Or as Forrest Gump would say its like a box of chocolates, you never know what you will get. This round of Facebook stalking was  not different.
      I recently stalked a previous teacher/rabbi in my old community. Or more correctly I stalked his children. After my stalking I came up with this. The rabbi has recently passed away and only one of his children is as frum as she was brought up to be as often this happens in families. Its just more stark when it happens to a rabbi's family. And not only are some of the children not frum they are not necessarily such great people either .
      I come from a lovely family. We are not rich, but we are good people. (I am totally unbiased of course). My point is no matter how well connected a head start one has it does not always predict the future. As the Yiddish saying goes (in my English translation) man plans and G-d laughs. We do the best we can and though some people have clear advantages in life , it does not mean that these advantages will be taken advantage of. I always thought this without being able to cite people that I know as visual aids, but sometimes it helps me feel more smug as I should not feel. No one asks for the family one grows up in . Usually what one sees from the outside is very different from what goes on in reality. The other thing is we all have personal choices to make and even if our parents are wonderful and show us the best way to be and give us the best feeling about yiddishkeit anyone could. Kids are people and they make their own choices and have their own personalities.
    Everybody had to find their place in life no matter what yichus one may or may not have. One should be proud and grateful for one's family no matter how average or typical they are. As it turns out being of "average " stock might be the best thing ever. It does not make you cocky or make you feel like you have too many unrealistic expectations to live up to. Turns out many who grew up with "yichus" might really have preferred not too have so much yichus.  

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