Wednesday, March 7, 2012
hamantashen love
Tuesday, March 6, 2012
public transportation
once again i have experienced mr. toad's wild ride upon the q train this evening. i'm still reeling. how i long for an eight o'clock subway ride home that is peaceful.
i boarded the train this evening at seven-thirty after waiting for ten minutes for the train to come. i got a seat. some crazy woman hovered over me and pushed me as she was standing in front of my seat. its times like these that i wish i was six feet tall and three hundred pounds. if i was that large this lunatic would not have wanted to stand anywhere near me.
at some point a very disheveled sixtyish man sat down on the floor near me and i offered him my seat. of course the loony woman moved , as well as the other few people who were standing near where i had been sitting. note to self, dress more disheveled on the train, you will then have room to sit.
fortunately when i was standing there was a lot more space than when i had been sitting and i finally got another seat when i was three stops from home.
the only good part of the ride was that it was too crowded for the acrobats to do their routine on my train.
i really have to find a job that is walking distance from my home. riding the trains is for the birds.
i boarded the train this evening at seven-thirty after waiting for ten minutes for the train to come. i got a seat. some crazy woman hovered over me and pushed me as she was standing in front of my seat. its times like these that i wish i was six feet tall and three hundred pounds. if i was that large this lunatic would not have wanted to stand anywhere near me.
fortunately when i was standing there was a lot more space than when i had been sitting and i finally got another seat when i was three stops from home.
the only good part of the ride was that it was too crowded for the acrobats to do their routine on my train.
i really have to find a job that is walking distance from my home. riding the trains is for the birds.
hasidic feminist
i could not fit this into my last post , so i figured i'd write one more post about deborah feldman and unorthodox.
though i do not have a problem with feldman's book, i would like to add that i had seen the blog she wrote called hasidic feminist.. when feldman was writing her blog she had a huge following. i would read it occasionally, but could not figure out if she was frum at the time she was writing her blog. though i had thought it was captivating i had felt it was just a bit too negative to add myself as a follower or put a link to it on my blog. by the time i wanted to read more of her blog she had taken it down and put up a plug for her book instead.
some felt that it was better that her story be just a blog but a book was too much. people can give feedback pro or con on a blog, but they can't really do that with a book. i am not sure how i feel about it. blogs are more like soap operas. they are on daily without repeats. books are more like movies. they can be repeated without baring any new material. i am not sure which is better for the jews.
though i do not have a problem with feldman's book, i would like to add that i had seen the blog she wrote called hasidic feminist.. when feldman was writing her blog she had a huge following. i would read it occasionally, but could not figure out if she was frum at the time she was writing her blog. though i had thought it was captivating i had felt it was just a bit too negative to add myself as a follower or put a link to it on my blog. by the time i wanted to read more of her blog she had taken it down and put up a plug for her book instead.
some felt that it was better that her story be just a blog but a book was too much. people can give feedback pro or con on a blog, but they can't really do that with a book. i am not sure how i feel about it. blogs are more like soap operas. they are on daily without repeats. books are more like movies. they can be repeated without baring any new material. i am not sure which is better for the jews.
Monday, March 5, 2012
unorthodox
i just finished reading the book unorthodox by deborah feldman.. i agree with curious jew's opinion of the book. it is not that bad for the frum world. deborah feldman is a rebel who grew up in the satmar community. it is a little cloying to read about her snarky view of frumkeit as she is growing up but this is her story and this is how she felt about it. when you read the story you can tell that she grew up frum. she does have some things that are not correct about judaism but only someone frum would know this. i think that its irrelevant. what bothers people very much is that she grew up in the system and she rejected it and she is not a drug addict. the worst thing she does in the book is eat treif , stopped dressing modestly and stopped keeping taharas hamishpachah. granted these render her a secular jew, but that is what she has become. a big snooze if you ask me. i am sure many who criticize feldman have never even read her book. please pardon this spoiler if you plan on reading the book, but i do feel that it is very important to share this . at the end of the book after she has settled on her secular life she realizes that the frum world does not bother her as much as it had before when she was part of it. she also has come to appreciate that judaism is part of what makes her who she is even if she does not choose to be observant. she is not a druggie,she did not form a ponzi scheme, she is just isnt religious. so what.
i think that feldman got a little carried away slamming frumkeit when she went on the view with barbara walters and company, but i do not think that this will hurt the world view of religious jews or hasidim . it think that we need to worry more about the frum men who are sitting in jail for having commited ponzi schemes for making a bad name for frum jews. deborah feldman is 25 years old. her youth does not excuse her ,but it does not make her the devil either. simon and shuster encouraged her to use her name with her story to make this into a sideshow. had she been anonymous it would not have been as "potent". deborah feldman is the flavor of the month now with her book but in a few months no one will care who she is.
in 1995 a young woman named pearl abraham wrote a book called the romance reader which was also about a rebellious hasidic girl with another disfunctional family. she too garnered much attention. it was pre-interenet days so her reputation did not precede her as did deborah feldman's and i thought that her book was much more negative than deborah's.
interestingly enough, deborah feldman mentions that she had read pearl abraham's book as a teenager and that it spoke to her. then again, deborah feldman was already going in the wrong direction when she read the romance reader, so one can't say it really swayed her. according to wikipedia , pearl abraham has taught at sarah lawrence , the school deborah feldman attended. perhaps they have met.
unorthodox is not the best book i have ever read nor is it the worst. it is entertaining and i do not take everything in it at face value. though she gets some thing wrong, she gets a lot right and this is what irks a lot of people . the only thing that bothers me is that she has photos of her ex-husband in the book , not even so much what she wrote about her marriage.i think that they both misunderstood each other. i don't think that it was fair to him to have his image in the book without his permission.
in any event , read the book if you are curious. i am sure it will be a big letdown after all of the hype. it is not so much anti religious as much as just one young woman's quest for living life in a way that is best for her.
i think that feldman got a little carried away slamming frumkeit when she went on the view with barbara walters and company, but i do not think that this will hurt the world view of religious jews or hasidim . it think that we need to worry more about the frum men who are sitting in jail for having commited ponzi schemes for making a bad name for frum jews. deborah feldman is 25 years old. her youth does not excuse her ,but it does not make her the devil either. simon and shuster encouraged her to use her name with her story to make this into a sideshow. had she been anonymous it would not have been as "potent". deborah feldman is the flavor of the month now with her book but in a few months no one will care who she is.
in 1995 a young woman named pearl abraham wrote a book called the romance reader which was also about a rebellious hasidic girl with another disfunctional family. she too garnered much attention. it was pre-interenet days so her reputation did not precede her as did deborah feldman's and i thought that her book was much more negative than deborah's.
interestingly enough, deborah feldman mentions that she had read pearl abraham's book as a teenager and that it spoke to her. then again, deborah feldman was already going in the wrong direction when she read the romance reader, so one can't say it really swayed her. according to wikipedia , pearl abraham has taught at sarah lawrence , the school deborah feldman attended. perhaps they have met.
unorthodox is not the best book i have ever read nor is it the worst. it is entertaining and i do not take everything in it at face value. though she gets some thing wrong, she gets a lot right and this is what irks a lot of people . the only thing that bothers me is that she has photos of her ex-husband in the book , not even so much what she wrote about her marriage.i think that they both misunderstood each other. i don't think that it was fair to him to have his image in the book without his permission.
in any event , read the book if you are curious. i am sure it will be a big letdown after all of the hype. it is not so much anti religious as much as just one young woman's quest for living life in a way that is best for her.
Sunday, March 4, 2012
shabbos menucha?
by friday i am always exhausted from a busy week at work. i am always looking forward to a restful , sleep filled shabbos. when i did not work on fridays i found shabbos to be must more enjoyable because i was able to rest up on friday before all the festivities .
every friday i make the mad dash home before shabbos so i can prepare for shabbos. this is especially difficult because all i ever want to do when i get home from work is sleep for a few hours, but on friday i must shower , prepare / heat up food and make sure everything is ready for the impending shabbos. now that shabbos starts a little later its a little easier, but i am still stressed.
sometimes i am invited out for friday night dinner which is nice but delays my shabbos rest. other times i eat dinner at home and go to an oneg at someone's home. this is a little more restful because i always manage to sleep a bit before joining the festivities.
i try to get 7-8 hours of sleep friday night before waking up on shabbos morning. if i am home for friday night dinner it is easier to wake up early on shabbos morning and read a little bit before going to shul . if i have lunch plans it is nice but with these short shabboses i am assured little or no shabbat nap or i am graced with a nap that starts on shabbos and ends motzei shabbos. i find it slightly unsettling to wake up motzei shabbos.
sometimes when i eat shabbos lunch at home there are afternoon get togethers which last until havdalah.
the shabbat socializing is amazing for the soul. to be alone on shabbos is the worst. after a grueling week of work a social shabbos really helps me decompress. it really isn't shabbos menucha. it is just a rest from the work week schedule.
every friday i make the mad dash home before shabbos so i can prepare for shabbos. this is especially difficult because all i ever want to do when i get home from work is sleep for a few hours, but on friday i must shower , prepare / heat up food and make sure everything is ready for the impending shabbos. now that shabbos starts a little later its a little easier, but i am still stressed.
sometimes i am invited out for friday night dinner which is nice but delays my shabbos rest. other times i eat dinner at home and go to an oneg at someone's home. this is a little more restful because i always manage to sleep a bit before joining the festivities.
i try to get 7-8 hours of sleep friday night before waking up on shabbos morning. if i am home for friday night dinner it is easier to wake up early on shabbos morning and read a little bit before going to shul . if i have lunch plans it is nice but with these short shabboses i am assured little or no shabbat nap or i am graced with a nap that starts on shabbos and ends motzei shabbos. i find it slightly unsettling to wake up motzei shabbos.
sometimes when i eat shabbos lunch at home there are afternoon get togethers which last until havdalah.
the shabbat socializing is amazing for the soul. to be alone on shabbos is the worst. after a grueling week of work a social shabbos really helps me decompress. it really isn't shabbos menucha. it is just a rest from the work week schedule.
Thursday, March 1, 2012
appropriate age differences
sometimes when men divorced men remarry they remarry women who are significantly younger than their first wives. its almost like they have traded up for a younger edition. to be fair some of these men who are remarrying are divorced from their first wives because their first wives initiated their separation.
it is hard to know what to think. these younger women aren't being forced to marry older men.
i would say that it does depend how much disparity there is in the ages of the couple. if there are about ten years difference plus or minus a few years i don't think its such a big deal. i think that if there is a twenty year age disparity that it is a bit disturbing because sometimes the man has children who are close in age to their young bride. i think that if a man has never been married and he marries a much younger woman it is a bit different because he is not thinking that he could have a daughter her age he is just thinking its cool he is marrying such a young woman.
personally, i am looking for a man who is within ten years of my age because i feel most comfortable with someone who is of my generation. if someone prefers the may/december pairing it is their business. different strokes for different folks as they say.
it is hard to know what to think. these younger women aren't being forced to marry older men.
i would say that it does depend how much disparity there is in the ages of the couple. if there are about ten years difference plus or minus a few years i don't think its such a big deal. i think that if there is a twenty year age disparity that it is a bit disturbing because sometimes the man has children who are close in age to their young bride. i think that if a man has never been married and he marries a much younger woman it is a bit different because he is not thinking that he could have a daughter her age he is just thinking its cool he is marrying such a young woman.
personally, i am looking for a man who is within ten years of my age because i feel most comfortable with someone who is of my generation. if someone prefers the may/december pairing it is their business. different strokes for different folks as they say.
purim preview
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