love

ive always said that its better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all. i still believe this. it just really sucks when things don't turn out like one would have liked them to. i hate the old adage "everything happens for a reason" , but being the eternal realist, i believe this to be accurate in affairs of the heart. there is a reason things may not work out , but we may not know immediately why this is. for me this is the hardest part. unfortunately sometimes i have found out later reasons why it was VERY good things had not worked out . how i had been saved from a life i would not have wanted. i would not have guessed it at the time.... but it turned out to be the best thing for me even though i had cried my eyes out at the time of the break up. so now is the time to stay strong ,ride the wave and have faith that someone better is just around the corner.....

when does it happen?

i often look at the undesirable males at singles events and i wonder how it is they turned out this way. i mean really, you look at babies. babies are so cute. when did that change occur? when and how did that adorable infant turn into that annoying clod im trying so hard to escape at a singles event?
sometimes there is a rage that builds up in a guy and makes him turn into that guy everyone runs from. it is also quite sad . if this rage hadn't compounded so much he might have remained normal.
on occasion i can identify emergence of the clod gene. some guys start to get it in their mid-thirties. its scary because you see it coming but there is nothing you can do about it. you see that rage building up within him coupled with rejection and you just know its coming. too many girls have done him wrong he says. probably he straddles the edge between cool and nerdy . he's just cool enough that the rejection of the cool girls really gets to him. this is his downfall. by the time he turns forty it is all over. he's not just a super geek he's a loser. he's mad at the world, especially at women. and now he's at the point of no return. the creepdom has taken over any sign of coolness he had ever had and he is now a bonafide loser .
im not sure that this is the reason some shadchanim think that some guys really need to get married, but if you ask me it is. if these guys would get married before the rage overtakes them they would not be the losers i encounter at singles events.

notes on the hannukah song

december 3,1994 adam sandler debuted the original hannukah song on saturday night live. i watched in it in awe and part disbelief. it was hysterically funny and unmistakably jewish. while i was watching it i had no idea it would become such a cult classic and the only hannukah song played on the radio amidst of all of the x-mas carols every december.
the hannukah song is really a very silly song. it lists all the jewish celebrities who may or may not actually celebrate hannukah so all of us lonley jewish kids dont feel like we are all alone lighting a menorah each december. it also is sung by adam sandler in one of his childishly annoying voices. no matter. somehow this silly song caught on.
its too bad a song more like al hanisim or even the dreidel song do not reach the public air waves each december. but they do not. so im glad that the hannukah song does. at least it reminds the unaffiliated that there is a hannukah and that some hip celebrity wrote a song that they might be able to relate to.
i dont think that adam sandler had any idea he was creating a cult phenomenon when he was cooking up his hannukah song. he probably was just trying to write some kooky hannukah song for a saturday night live skit. dumb luck turned it into a holiday classic. and yes i do think that this is ultimately good for the jews.

20,000 hits!!!

i passed the 20,000 hit mark yesterday!! what's really cool is that it took me a year and four months to get to 10,000 hits. its taken nine more months to get to 20,000! thank you all for reading!!!

would you rather?

would you rather have cancer than aids? would you rather be single than divorced with 3 special needs children? would you rather get married at forty and be childless and happily married for fifty years or marry at twenty, have four kids but be widowed at fifty? would you rather have psoriasis and no wrinkles or clear skin and wrinkles? would you rather have noisy neighbors and live in a safe neighborhood or would you rather live on a farm in new mexico? would your rather be single than married to tiger woods?
i really don't know the answers to any of these questions, nor do i want to. these are the types of incoherent things people like to ask singles when they kvetch about being single. when i kvetch i don't want a would you rather diatribe, id like someone to suggest someone appropriate for me to go out with or just just listen and not say anything. i would rather not be asked would i rather.

divorced is better???

often people will try to fix me up with a guy who is divorced and they will try to plug it by saying "hey at least he could make a commitment!" well, im still not convinced that its better to go out with a divorced guy than a never married guy.
alot of times the divorced guy has a truckload of baggage because he has kids. ive heard so many divorce stories that my head is spinning. i don't really know who to believe when i hear them. there is his side, her side and the truth. and of course you have to be hashem to know the truth.
my favorite divorce story is the one where the ex-wife was crazy. while this might be true, it also might not be. maybe he made her act nuts. who knows. i also love how the guys think that withholding a get is okay because a rabbi told them to. whatever. alot of the rabbis are anti-woman anyway. what do they care? meanwhile loverboy who is withholding the get is having a grand old time dating . but the rabbis said it was okay. good grief.
granted , single , never married men have their share of problems as well. they still think a scarlett johannson look alike is going to marry them even though they look like jack black. or they are fifty plus and think someone under thirty five will want to marry them.

al hanisim v'al haniflaot ! aka - a real hannukah miracle!!

a real hannukah miracle happened to me today. i had situation in my apartment that needed attending to and by the miracle of hannukah it was able to be fixed by the super today. laugh if you must, but this truly was a hannukah gift. within the first few days that i had moved into my apartment i had true tsuris. i flushed the toilet that fateful evening and the toilet flushed for eight hours straight. it was loud , it splashed and the super was nowhere to be found. it took weeks to get the super to install a new flushometer. this is why today my friends i consider it a hannukah miracle that my apartment ailment was so promptly attended to . not only has it been fixed , but i wont be spending my free moments leaving messages for the super or calling 311. i bh will be able to enjoy the rest of the holiday in my repaired abode.
happy hannukah!!