Monday, August 18, 2008

would you date someone you know?

everyone goes to singles events trying to meet someone new. someone no one has met before. as if it was not possible that one could actually become interested romantically in someone one has met already.
now the truth is sometimes one has friends of the opposite gender and that is all they are and all they will ever be. end of story. other times this is not the case. this is when things can become dangerous.
once one crosses the line from being just friends to having an actual dating relationship with this person there is a huge possibility that if it ends you will not be able to return to the way it was before. and yes, this has happened to me. and it sucks. however, if it were the right someone i would take that risk again. after all , who doesnt want to be a true friend to someone one is in a relationship with? who wouldnt want to marry someone who could be one's best friend? someone who has been one's best friend?
i have taken this risk before and lost big, but it was worth it.
im not sure that i know anyone at the moment who id want to take that risk with, but i just wanted to put the idea out there.
its just so awful to attend a singles event and have people say that it was a bomb because everyone knew each other.
so often its taken meeting someone several times at singles events before someone decides to ask me for my number. sometimes its taken meeting some guys several times at singles events before they seem in my mind like an actual consideration. the point being sometimes one needs to get to know someone better in order for both parties to be interested. sometimes its not just love at first sight with someone one's never met previously. and sometimes its better that way.

1 comment:

David Staum said...

This is why, in my singles days, I preferred to avoid "singles" events and just had a nice chevra through which I met new people all the time. A lot of my friends were couples too. I think it's a more organic to meet people of the opposite gender. And it builds nice friendships too.

I never specifically looked for someone to date. I just looked to make friends and ended up dating some of the women I met. I met my wife at a shabbat meal and because it was a nice, relaxed atmosphere, there was no stress or pressure.