its all a set-up.

in the shtetls of eastern europe the shadchan was all the rage. i think that in shtetl culture where basicly everyone knew each other this was probably a valuable venue. in 2008, almost 2009 , im not too sure that it is.
a shadchan usually meets her client once and then tries to "set them up" . how can a shadchan set two people up without knowing them and expect it to work out. i suppose if one goes by the "you never know " cliche, then perhaps. but usually its alot more like spinning the dice or playing paper scissors , rock.
my answer to those who abide by the "you never know " cliche is "oh yes i do". once in awhile by accident a shadchan might make a shidduch with that theory, but one cant rely on the consistency of happenstance.
when a shadchan so nonchalantly asks me my age i am always inwardly estimating their age. only once has a shadchan told me her age during one of those shidduch interrogations. i think all shadchanim should do this. and of course we'll just add 10 years to their answer ....just to be safe.
with shadchanim 40 is the new 30 and he has been 30 for the last ten years... at least...
shadchanim ask their clients for references, but of course they never check them out. they leave that to their lowly clients. though i would trust my investigative abilities over that of a shadchan , i still dont quite understand why they dont do reference checking before setting someone up, just to be sure they arent setting up an axe murderer. arent they afraid of lawsuits?
i spent much of my twenties going on shidduch dates. by the time i turned thirty i decided that there has got to be a better way. so ive tried the dating websites and singles events. these venues have not yet found me my zivug , but at least i feel more in control of my destiny than when i solely relied on others to scope out my zivug.