ready, set , go!!

when i was in my early twenties i remember a shadchan becoming impatient with me after i had gone out with a guy three times. " what do you mean you arent sure about bochur x after three dates? some people get engaged after 10 dates!!! what is with you?" apparently this shadchan hasn't gone shopping with me. when i go to a clothing store i check out everything that is there , try on all of the maybes and then make a decision as to which i would like to buy. when i go to a jewelery booth at a holiday market i take stock of everything and sometimes wait until the next day until i choose a trinket. i eventually make a purchase , but not without much thought and consideration. apparently shadchanim do not understand this, which i find quite odd. isn't that the point of shidduch dating? one is supposed to choose a mate through logical deliberation, not gut lust?
i do agree that dating someone for too long doesn't bode well in a relationship if one is serious about getting married, its just the timeline that i have my own feelings about. if someone is a very open person then a shorter dating period can be ok, but if one isn't then ten dates before engagement spells trouble. i have also found that time in itself is helpful in the shidduch process. at first everyone is on his/her best behavior, but as time passes one starts to be more ones self. the other thing is that over time life happens. tempers flare , one gets to learn the others spending habits and one gets to see the others true religious level. these are things that happen over time. one can only see what the other person's debating tactics are if one is in an actual argument with them. at first a guy may be very generous, but over time it may prove that he is quite miserly. or the opposite. a guy could extravagant and be a million dollars in debt. one might proclaim to be a certain level of frumkeit, but over time one can see if the other lives up to his/her appointed level. these issues are the tip of the iceberg. one cannot know everything about a person before one commits but it does pay to make the effort. some people do well being pushed into things. i do not . the more one pushes me the more i will say no way, especially when the stakes are so high.