Thursday, April 29, 2010
the finality of death
the thing about death is that it is so final. one cant go back and change what happened. they are still going to be deceased. you cant ever ask the deceased a question about anything. they are dead. you cant work on or change your relationship with the the deceased because , again, they are dead. the worst part is that it takes a long time to sink in . one knows these principles, but they are hard to internalize.
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it does get easier to realize the facts on a personal level with time. My aunt (who I was very close to - she lived with us much of my childhood) died suddenly in an accident when I was 17 (I'm 29 now) I still forget she isn't around sometimes. But less and less do I find myself thinking of her in the present tense. after some time (different for everyone) we start to feel that death is final, but final isn't a bad word. or a bad thing to be. final is just... final. it just takes a time for our heart to catch up with what our brains know to be true. It is good you are writing through your feelings.
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