yartzeit

the year of mourning is over.i thought it would never end. i had a shiva that couldnt start until after pesach and a year of avelus that had two adars.  i have survived it !!
today is my father's yartzeit. im glad that a year has passed. those first months after his passing were excruciating. i couldn't eat and i couldn't sleep. now that a year has passed those symptoms are gone. it is also a year since i have seen my father. its always a weird feeling when someone passes away and one imagines how the years will pass and it will be x amount of time since one has seen the dearly departed. one does not forget them, but because they have passed on . one can choose to remember the good parts and forget the parts that  one would rather not remember.
though a lot has happened since my father's passing it also seems like it was just the blink of an eye since it happened. life is strange like that.
i've learned a lot about life and about myself since then. death is funny that way. it forces the living to re-access  life.