don't sweat it

besides being  the kickoff to summer, this weekend has been the kickoff to summer heat. everyone who knows me knows that i can't take the heat. even as a child i couldn't . the school that i went to as a kid was backward and they finally got air conditioning installed when i was in sixth grade. until then they had the industrial strength fans which were so-so. as kids we would all sit with mini portable fans to cool ourselves off. when i was in third grade i fainted in class from the heat. i remember standing for shemonah esreh and then suddenly i found myself on the floor. it was so embarrassing.
except for my backward school, everyone where i grew up in the midwest had central air conditioning. i went to a small shul for awhile that had an air conditioning unit. it worked well, but it was so odd and foreign to me at the time.
when i was in college the dorm had a/c window units which i used as necessary.
i admit that i roughed it for awhile when i lived in a basement apartment, but even there it was a little cooler than if i had lived on a regular floor.
now that im an adult and i live in apartment on the top floor of my apartment building i would find the summers unbearable if i didn't have my air-conditioning  unit. i try not to be a shabbos guest to those who do not use a/c. the worst part is that some of those who do not use air conditioning also don't use fans.
the heat effects my skin . my psoriasis flares up and itches more in the summer. paying the extra fifty dollars a month is less money than buying medication to treat psoriasis and far more enjoyable.

the d3 debate

recently magazines have been recommending people to get at least 10 minutes of unprotected sun each day to fulfill one's vitamin d3 quota for the day. i have also had a few friends report to me that they have had sun damage removed from their bodies. thought none had cancer or pre-cancerous damage it was still quite scary. even if one is hyper neurotic about sun protection and sun exposure one still runs the risk of contracting skin cancer, nonetheless one still must be diligent about protecting one's skin . this is why i find it baffling that women's magazines are recommending sun exposure to meet their vitamin d3 requirement. sun exposure is a way of acquiring vitamin d3 but its not the only way  . one can also take vitamin d3 supplements and they work.
my vitamin d levels were tested a year ago. they were very low. i usually do have at least 10 minutes of  daily unprotected sun accidentally. i often forget to apply sunblock in the mornings as i am rushing to go to work. even if one is diligent about sun protection, most people are not as diligent as they should be. but guess what? unless you are a farmer who is scantily clad you probably still won't get enough sun exposure to provide adequate vitamin d3 levels..if one is a modestly dressed woman how much is exposed to sunlight even if you are outside without sunblock? this of course is where the supplements come in. and folks, vitamin d3 supplements do work. my vitamin d3 levels have gone up.
supplements do raise vitamin d3 levels. be smart about sun exposure and don't rely on it for achieving the proper level of vitamin d3.

memorial day

as a kid i never realized what the meaning of memorial day was. to me memorial day was just another welcome day off from school. as an adult i have thought about it . as an adult i am more aware of the wars that the united states has been involved in. i have become more aware of who has died defending the honor of their country which is the country that i live in.
because the plight of israel and war in israel has been so prominent in my life it overshadowed the reality of war anywhere else. the gulf war and 9/11 changed all that. it dawned on me that hate and destruction could happen anywhere and that it is important to appreciate those who have lost their lives trying to defend our right to freedom and our right to feel safe in our country of residence.

the ebb and flow

friendships like most things in life  wax and wane. one day a person could be BFFs with one set of friends and not long after be one the outs with the same crew. life changes, people change. perhaps this makes me anti-social, but sometimes the politics of friendship or rather the politics of group friendship often makes me want to retreat into my own world.of course this doesn't last long. no one is an island,  as much as id like to dump everyone and live on my own solo island after awhile i need to get out of my own head and mix with others. people can drive me crazy but they also keep me sane.
friendship may ebb and flow  but  mostly friendship flows. which is what i count  on.....

tact

tact is something not a lot of people have and   a lot of people need. often when i am in a social situation  non-whisperers  ask me who so and so is when so and so is standing within earshot.  though i usually do know who so and so is i am not very inclined to want to share my information when so and so is standing right within earshot. i always wish that i  could simulate an electric shock to whoever is so tactless .  even though i am not the one asking the tactless question i feel embarrassed when someone asks this of me in such a tact-free fashion.

he's a nice guy

often  after a date i will tell  friends or the person who set me up with them that the guy is a really nice person but he is not for me.  i mean it. both parts. he  really is a nice guy AND he is really not for me. this always confuses people. if i think he is a nice guy why do i not want to go out with him  again? i don't mean to be confusing, its just that though i think the guy is a good person there are things about him that i dislike/can't live with and therefore do not want to continue with him. does my not wanting to date him mean that i have to say that i think he is a dreadful human being? i know  that if i would say that every guy i don't want to date is dreadful  that would not go over well either. then i would be the woman who can't stand every man who is sent her way.  even though i don't want to continue dating someone  i don't want to diminish his dating prospects by saying lashon hara i don't believe about him just to shut people up  . i suppose i will continue to confuse people . its what i do best. after all i am a woman.

round vs square

many  restaurants i have eaten at have square tables. most  weddings i have attended have round tables. small square tables are okay  at a restaurant  if there are only 2-4 people at the table, otherwise its difficult to be a cohesive group.
at a wedding. one hopes those in attendance are united int their wishes for the new couple therefore there are round tables.
when i attend a large get together at restaurant it is  a treat when there are round tables. round tables are especially nice for a birthday party or other largely attended restaurant affairs. at a square table you are stuck just talking to to the few people across from or next to you. with a round table there can be interaction between all who are present.

ahavas yisroel

when we say the term ahavas yisroel what do we mean? do we mean we should have a love for all jews or just a love for jews who are like ourselves? does it mean we should only love other jews just so we can mekarev them ?
after telling some left wing yeshivish friends of mine about the movie brothers from the jewish film festival which i reviewed in this blog in my may 14, 2011 post titled brothers, it made me mull over this issue. when i told these friends about this movie they promptly began to tell me about all of the wonderful kiruv that is being done in israel.. my friend totally missed the point of my movie synopsis. i think that kiruv is wonderful , but for all jews to have ahavas yisroel and mutual respect  i do not think that all jews need to be frum yidden..  it should not be the only reason one has ahavas yisroel. then again, loving other jews just so one can mekarev them is still better than writing them off all together.
i think that one can have ahavas yisroel  for those who are not exactly like oneself religiously because we jews are family . families aren't always the same religiously but we still love one another, still are a part of each others lives. i think this is the best way for people to look at jews who may not be where we are religiously. certainly this i how i would like a family member who is not on the same page religiously to view me.

a little spritz

ever wonder why the perfume section is usually near the entrance of a mall? according to real simple magazine this was to mask the manure scent that used to waft in from the streets in the horse and buggy days. i'm not sure if this is accurate, but it has given me a good laugh!!

don't humor me

many women say that they are looking for a guy with a good sense of humor . not me .  i like men who are able to laugh, just not the comedian types. when every word a man says is a joke it gets old fast. i can never have a simple conversation  with him because he first has to make light of whatever i am saying before i can actually tell  him what it is i've been trying to say.
if a guy always has to joke and tease i always wonder what it is he is trying to distract me from finding out .
comedians are fun to watch on tv or in a comedy club, but not so much fun to date.

brothers

i saw the movie brothers directed by igaal niddam  thursday night at the israeli film festival. it was an  incredible movie.
the movie is about two brothers who are originally from argentina. one moves to israel and the other ends up living in the united states. the israeli one is secular and the american brother is a yeshiva bachur and a lawyer. the frum brother travels to israel to be the lawyer  for a charedi yeshiva that was burning their army draft cards. the story is about the relationship between two brothers  and the multi-faceted court case . no one is portrayed in terms of black or white. secular or frum we are not as different as we seem. and as the title says it all..... we are all brothers (and sisters). and we have to find a way to get along .
mr niddam the director was at the screening thursday night. it was fascinating. the rabin assassination inspired him to make this film as well as the in fighting between the frum and non-frum in israel. he fears there may be a civil war in israel if this is not resolved. he made this film to promote dialogue.
the movie is amazing.

avenue u subway art

i visited the avenue u subway station on the q line today. to my delight i caught a glimpse of the emerging subway art on the coney island bound side of the station. it is quite impressive. it made the act of standing on subway platform a little brighter.
the avenue j station looks like a dive. i haven't noticed any emerging mosaics there or on the avenue m station. the renovation of the avenue m station is much further behind than the avenue j station so perhaps there is still hope for a mosaic . (im not holding my breath)
subway safety and punctuality are more important than subway beauty. subway beauty is easier to maintain (sort of ) than subway safety or punctuality.
im not sure that mayor dinkins was referring to the subway mosaics when he would pontificate about the lovely mosaic of new york city, but when i speak of the lovely mosaics of new york city i am most definitely referring to the lovely subway mosaics.

william and kate

i know it must be me, but i found the wedding of kate middleton and prince william to be anti-climactic. kate  and william have been together off and on since the met at university. kate has lived in the palace for eight years. when charles and diana married this was to signify the beginning of their lives together (and living together). hearing of kate and william's nuptials was like hearing about old news.
i once had  a co-worker who was together with her now husband for ten years and even had a child with him who was already six or seven before they finally made it legal. it was nice they finally married, but really, at that point they should have just had a small wedding without all of the fanfare.
i actually like prince william even though he is starting to look aged.  i like that he has married an age appropriate woman.
william and kate truly are the modern couple . it took him forever to make up his mind  to marry her due to his parents bitter marriage.they lived together,  then they married. it is  all well and good, but rather un-romantic . not that anyone asked me .

israeli film festival new york 2011

its that time of the year again. its time for the israeli film festival. this years films will be screened at amc's movie theater on broadway and 84th street in manhattan. the festival is being held from may 5- may 19 . i plan on attending three of the movies. i will let you all know what i think of them after i see them.
i missed last year's israeli film festival because i found out about it late and the location of the screenings was inconvenient for me. i have been on the israeli film festival's e-mail list for years. this year they sent out word about this year's festival before pesach so i was able to plan in advance.
if you decide to attend the website is israeli film festival.

sticks and stones will break your bones and so will words

the words one chooses wield  power. they can lift spirits or cut someone to the bone. it is so important to be careful of  the words one uses. words can push others to the brink.... a brink that they would never have reached had the speaker had chosen his speech more carefully.
i never liked the old nursery rhyme about sticks and stones and how supposedly words never hurt. .... i beg to differ. words can hurt even more because they are not a physical object.
use  words to convey love. use words to build world peace. use words to soothe.
never use words to injure or harass.

playing hard to get

ever wonder why when one isn't  interested in a guy he is always calling, but once one actually becomes interested in him he becomes ambivalent and barely calls? i don't wonder . i know why . when someone is chasing after me they never have to evaluate whether or not they are truly interested in me because it is still a fantasy. once i become interested then it becomes a reality. then he actually has time to obsess about his actual feelings now that it could be a reality. this is why guys like it when women play hard to get (and vice versa). reality is much tougher  to fall head first into than mere possibility.

Jackie Masons talk show bit, 1961

i know that i have been on the lazy side lately and have been posting a lot from you tube, but i just could not resist this one of jackie mason as a young man. seeing jackie mason in this video is like seeing your grandparents in an old super eight home movie . you always knew that they were young once but until you see the hard evidence you don't believe it.