a lesson from the deadbeats

i often get embarrassed when people ask me about what is going on in my life. i always wish that i would have achieved more . i have a stable job , my own apartment ,good  friends and hobbies, but i wish that i also would have a husband and a family. others who still live with their parents (even at my age or older) who have never worked a steady job and probably will never change have no qualms about their deadbeat status. when someone tries to set me up with them on a blind date, or i find them on  a dating website, they manage to spin it so they don't feel embarrassed . i don't know how they have such confidence. i guess i am not such a deadbeat because i have some shame. i need to be independent and a member of adulthood. i guess its good to always have something to strive for because it prevents stagnation. one should strive but still be comfortable with where one is in life even if it is not yet where one wants to be. this is a lesson i have learned from the deadbeats.