my mexican shivah

despite lukewarm reviews i went to see the movie "my mexican shivah" tonight. i thought that it was a very humorous and charming movie.
the movie is about a jewish man in polanco, the jewish quarter in mexico city, who dies , and the shivah period that follows. it shows how everyone family is truly nuts, but they are still your family.
a most heart warming scene in the movie is where a yiddish, not necessarily well known song played in the background during the shabbos scene. not something ive recalled in an american movie.
the most original scene is where someone asks someone to bless them and that someone recites asher yatzar.
because this movie is such a comedic farce it did not seem too melodramatic. its a movie that can be enjoyed by both jews and mexicans alike.
needless to say , i highly recommend this movie.

getting to know you....

though people are very different, there often are much similarities. ever meet someone with the same voice as someone else you already know? or who reminds you of someone else you know? i have. all of the time. sometimes ive met people with the same accent or mannerisms as someone in my past. i try to be careful not to assume that they are just like that other person. especially when that other person might be someone i disliked very much. not that you shouldnt be cautious, but dont assume too much. its best to get to know each person on their own merit.
i recently had a co-worker who had a similar look to an ex-roommate who wasnt the greatest of sorts. im not saying to ignore one's intuitions, but just because someone has the same physical attributes as someone else in one's past or present, it doesnt mean that their personality is like that other person from ones past or present.

i dont get it

i know that there is a jewish concept of not being the one to spread bad news, however, i think that often people take this concept a bit too far.
often people dont want to tell others the news that someone has passed away fearing its just such sad news. my personal favorite " they will hear about it anyway because everyone is talking about it" well i have news for you. they arent all talking about "it" .
recently my friend's mom passed away and although someone had actually informed me about it and and the shiva apparently others who were close to her were not informed. i found this out when i casually mentioned this to a few friends and assumed they already knew . well guess again. they did not know and had i not told them they might not have known until months later. as it turned out they found out too late for shiva , but they did find out on time for the memorial that was held for the shloshim. had i been worried about "spreading bad news" my friend would not have had support from these friends who i had told. and it was too bad that i had assumed as others do that "someone must have told them" because no one had.
a few years ago a friend of mine passed away and i told many people about her passing. several visited the shiva house on my account. would it have been better not to have told anyone ? would it have been better her friends not have gone to pay their respects? of course one could say that these friends must not have been so close to not have been informed of her death. this would be true.in this case. however , it did matter to these old friends to join in the mitzvah of menachem avel. is it better not to spread bad news even if it will cause someone to do a mitzvah?
one could argue that it would be better for a long lost friend to visit someone during ones life rather than making a friend's shiva top priority. though this a thought to consider, it still doesnt cancel out the importance of menchem avel. its important for the family of the deceased to feel that others have been touched by the loss of their loved one.

hakaras hatov

very recently tragedy has hit an acquaintance of mine who is single. as much as ive been kvetching about being single and everything else under the sun, i truly am thankful and happy to be alive. life can be so fragile. without life there is no hope. with life there is hope. even though one may not have yet achieved one's life's goals, if one has life , one has a chance to achieve ones goals.
life is full of surprises as well as much disappointment, but so long as there is hope... then its all good.

changing of the guard

its always so interesting when someone one works with everyday moves on to another place of employment. especially when that someone is someone one would only be friends with because one works with them. the first day they arent at work one doesnt even miss them. this can even happen if one was friends with this person at work. usually this happens with someone one is only friends with because one works with them, but wouldnt be friends with otherwise. even so, its always alarming. life goes on surprisingly smoothly!
i had one work friend who i was glad left my workplace. i think that we are better friends now that we dont work together.
as apathetic to co-worker turnover as i am, i did actually have one co-worker that i really missed after we stopped working together. we have kept in touch, but i knew that it wouldnt be the same after we stopped working together. we really ran in such different circles it was destined to happen.

battle of the bulge

my quest for weight loss continues. ive lost 7 pounds since may. not the quickest weight loss, but its definitely a solid 7 lbs. what is my weight loss secret you ask? CUTTING OUT THE JUNK FOOD.
generally my eating habits arent too bad. my major weakness is sweets.
im gratified that my efforts have been netting results, i just hope i can keep it up.
oh... and i have been continuing my quest for more sleep, but my sleep hrs per night still are not where they should be. i still believe that if i improve in this area my weight loss momentum will improve.

would you date someone you know?

everyone goes to singles events trying to meet someone new. someone no one has met before. as if it was not possible that one could actually become interested romantically in someone one has met already.
now the truth is sometimes one has friends of the opposite gender and that is all they are and all they will ever be. end of story. other times this is not the case. this is when things can become dangerous.
once one crosses the line from being just friends to having an actual dating relationship with this person there is a huge possibility that if it ends you will not be able to return to the way it was before. and yes, this has happened to me. and it sucks. however, if it were the right someone i would take that risk again. after all , who doesnt want to be a true friend to someone one is in a relationship with? who wouldnt want to marry someone who could be one's best friend? someone who has been one's best friend?
i have taken this risk before and lost big, but it was worth it.
im not sure that i know anyone at the moment who id want to take that risk with, but i just wanted to put the idea out there.
its just so awful to attend a singles event and have people say that it was a bomb because everyone knew each other.
so often its taken meeting someone several times at singles events before someone decides to ask me for my number. sometimes its taken meeting some guys several times at singles events before they seem in my mind like an actual consideration. the point being sometimes one needs to get to know someone better in order for both parties to be interested. sometimes its not just love at first sight with someone one's never met previously. and sometimes its better that way.