shana tovah

as usual the holidays are almost here and im still trying to figure out where summer has gone. i always look at rosh hashanah as new beginning because aside from being a new year my birthday is at the end of elul .

im all for new beginnings and hopefully this year will bring all of us closer to realizing our hopes and dreams as well as being filled with health, happiness and peace of mind.

laundry rage!!

doing laundry is one of my most unfavored activities. consequently , i only do my laundry about once every 2 weeks.
there's something about going down to the underbelly of an apartment bldg to do laundry which unleashes hotheaded pettiness.
there is always the person who is upset that someone removed their clothing from a machine they had abandoned their clothing in three hours before. there are eccentrics who dole out unwanted advice on how long to leave ones clothing in the dryer. there are those who hover waiting for the next machine. there are those who rush to be able to use the "best " washer or dryer. there are those who are upset they cant use all ten machines in the laundrette at once because you are using a measly two machines.
as much as i hate doing laundry in the basement of my apt bldg, im still quite grateful i dont have to trek to a regular laundromat. they are even worse than the laundry room in my apt bldg

more facebook fun

lately my old college friends have reconnected via facebook. the only awkward part is when my friends have posted some of those gawky unflattering college photos which i would prefer to have been lost perhaps in a dumpster in zimbabwe. alas... no such luck. after blasting my friends for posting such embarrassments, i figured id exact my revenge . i posted my own fleet of college photos. once again the joke was on me. several of the old gang have had kids and have gotten fat and wrinkled and wish they looked as they had at 20. i on the other hand look much better now than i had at 20. i guess the only revenge i can wield is posting current photos of myself!!!

just friends...

is it possible to be just friends with a member of the opposite gender? i think so. however, its not such a simple answer. its possible for men and women to just be friends if neither has any romantic feelings toward the other individual. its also possible to be friends even if there is interest on one side but not the other's if the one with interest can accept that the other doesnt and may never ever show romantic interest .
however ... male/female friends are different than female/female friends and male/male friends. there is something about having a friend of the opposite gender that does fill the need of having attention from someone of the opposite gender even if one truly has no romantic interest in that individual. and to complicate things more, in order to have a romantic relationship with someone true friendship is essential. this is why male/ female just friendships can become so confusing sometimes. such friendships are totally possible and enjoyable , just sometimes need more definitive boundaries.

more on non-dating...

recently i met someone who i thought was a really great guy. i thought he had potential. it appeared he was interested. but alas... he had my number and never called.
yes i know that there were probably other things going on with him and that this is why he never called me. perhaps its just as well he never called because it might have turned out to be a really bad relationship.
never the less it sucks.

more thoughts on 9/11

on a more serious note than my last post, 9/11 was one of the most scary days of my life. i was actually already at work when the planes hit the world trade center. the smoke from the burning trade center could be seen all the way uptown for the next few days.
i was fortunate not to have been in downtown manhattan during the terrorist attack . just being in the city was traumatic enough. the planes that hit the trade center started from uptown moving toward downtown, meaning they had flown over where i was on its way...
there were continuous sirens for days. the warplanes overhead were un-nerving.
for the first time in my life i could understand what people with eating disorders mean when they say they have no appetite. i had no appetite. (of course it came back soon enough)
when i rode the train in to the city from brooklyn , i would make sure to look away when i was approaching the city. i didnt want to take a glimpse of the burning trade center.
for weeks and months i took pictures of the postings of the "missing" employees of the world trade center at the times square subway station and in union square. i photographed the makeshift memorials in union square.
it took me until november before i ventured over to ground zero to see the remains of the carnage. by then it was mostly just a big pit.
i think that the most awful part is though id been to the trade center many times, and had been there in july 2001 , the whole thing seemed so surreal. it was hard to believe that all was destroyed, even though id seen the ruins with my own eyes, had been in the city the day it happened, had seen it burning , smelled it burning.
whenever i pass ground zero i have tears in my eyes. its so sad. still. i know a few people who were in the world trade center during the attack and survived to tell the tale. i know others who lost siblings during the attack. i found out that one person's brother had died there when i was at grand central station reading the postings of the "missing" and spotted my friend's name as the contact in case his brother turned up.
every year the 9/11 memorial ceremony is the time of day when i videotape one of my soaps . i unwittingly tape some of the reading of the names. it still brings me to tears when i watch it. downtown manhattan is a graveyard. they are still recovering remains of the victims.
may we always remember those who perished on 9/11. and let it never happen again.

9/11

with the passage of time it seems that i spent less time memorializing 9/11 today than i had in previous years. in a way i think "how sad" , but in another way i think that its an important part of life to be able to separate a little bit from the pain of 9/11. its important to remember those who passed , but its also important to not let it paralyze one's self. its important to be able to get on with life. for myself, and for the memory of those who have passed.