more thoughts on 9/11

on a more serious note than my last post, 9/11 was one of the most scary days of my life. i was actually already at work when the planes hit the world trade center. the smoke from the burning trade center could be seen all the way uptown for the next few days.
i was fortunate not to have been in downtown manhattan during the terrorist attack . just being in the city was traumatic enough. the planes that hit the trade center started from uptown moving toward downtown, meaning they had flown over where i was on its way...
there were continuous sirens for days. the warplanes overhead were un-nerving.
for the first time in my life i could understand what people with eating disorders mean when they say they have no appetite. i had no appetite. (of course it came back soon enough)
when i rode the train in to the city from brooklyn , i would make sure to look away when i was approaching the city. i didnt want to take a glimpse of the burning trade center.
for weeks and months i took pictures of the postings of the "missing" employees of the world trade center at the times square subway station and in union square. i photographed the makeshift memorials in union square.
it took me until november before i ventured over to ground zero to see the remains of the carnage. by then it was mostly just a big pit.
i think that the most awful part is though id been to the trade center many times, and had been there in july 2001 , the whole thing seemed so surreal. it was hard to believe that all was destroyed, even though id seen the ruins with my own eyes, had been in the city the day it happened, had seen it burning , smelled it burning.
whenever i pass ground zero i have tears in my eyes. its so sad. still. i know a few people who were in the world trade center during the attack and survived to tell the tale. i know others who lost siblings during the attack. i found out that one person's brother had died there when i was at grand central station reading the postings of the "missing" and spotted my friend's name as the contact in case his brother turned up.
every year the 9/11 memorial ceremony is the time of day when i videotape one of my soaps . i unwittingly tape some of the reading of the names. it still brings me to tears when i watch it. downtown manhattan is a graveyard. they are still recovering remains of the victims.
may we always remember those who perished on 9/11. and let it never happen again.