is it possible to be just friends with a member of the opposite gender? i think so. however, its not such a simple answer. its possible for men and women to just be friends if neither has any romantic feelings toward the other individual. its also possible to be friends even if there is interest on one side but not the other's if the one with interest can accept that the other doesnt and may never ever show romantic interest .
however ... male/female friends are different than female/female friends and male/male friends. there is something about having a friend of the opposite gender that does fill the need of having attention from someone of the opposite gender even if one truly has no romantic interest in that individual. and to complicate things more, in order to have a romantic relationship with someone true friendship is essential. this is why male/ female just friendships can become so confusing sometimes. such friendships are totally possible and enjoyable , just sometimes need more definitive boundaries.
9 comments:
I happen to think there is nothing wrong w/ male/female friendships. There is definitly a huge chance of there being awkwardness. But if you're both mature, whats the problem?
http://www.oprah.com/article/oprahandfriends/sboteach/sboteach_20080305
Interesting how I just read taht article like a few days ago.
Also, If you're single, having a female friend keeps you normal. Plus it's always great to have a good wing-woman.
hey,
i, a frum married man, have a friend a Very frum young girl...
and we both have no sexual thoughts, we are very atttached and we love eah other as friends,
yes, we do hug and kiss at times, but we really feel for each other, and thats what its all about. like i said, we both have no romantic interests, we talk for hours and days while we are both at work, and the rest of the time we email each other.. .
so, if it is a posibility?? yes, of course.. . is it right?? well, for me being married, maybe i should'nt have gotten involed emotionaly like i did,.. it happenes to be that my wife knows about it, and she has a problem with it too... and i completely understand her, but thats the way it is..
while for her, getting involved with a married man, she does feel guilty at times, but she loves me too much to let go of me... so.. ;)
the kind of just friends that im speaking about are the type between unmarried men and unmarried women.
Joe,
I can see why your wife is upset. You barely acknowlege that your seemingly more-than-platonic friendship with this young woman is wrong. If you want to do the right thing, cut off contact with the young lady immediately and respect your wife.
I had plenty of single female friends when I was single. I've kept most of them now that I'm married, as long as my wife has become friendly with them too. I've observed that when married it's fine to have a friend that's just your friend alone as long as that person is of the same gender. But to be a friend with someone of the opposite gender, both halves of the couple need to be friends with them.
i agree with dys .
i honestly wish i could be friends with guys.
but ive tried it, and there were always issues - he liked me, i liked him. you cant be just friends with a guy unless you both think the other is revolting. thats just how we are made.
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